A question about my Miscarriage

Hey girls

Last Tuesday I had a scan after some bleeding, I was 10.3 weeks, only to find out that bub had stopped growing at 7.2weeks :( I was sent home and Friday i went back to be booked in for D&C when I started heavily bleeding before even having the op.. Since the D&C I haven't bled much at all, I have spotted maybe 3 or 4 times and generally after lying down in bed at night... Would you say its now safe to start TTC again? Our baby was so special, just like every angel in this world and I'm finding it hard to move on, with so many friends and 2 sisters pregnant around me :( ( i am very happy for them but i guess its hard to show that)
I know any future pregnancies will never replace, but I think maybe I might move on a bit better... although I am scared it will happen again :(...I have had 2 healthy children so I know I can do it again...

Thanks for listening and I hope all you ladies who have suffered loss recently manage to carry a healthy baby full term in the very near future :hug:

Deb xoxo

:hug:

I am soo sorry for your loss. I remember the pain I felt...its awful. It is even worse with pregnant women around you :comfort:

My doctor told me to wait until my periods got back to normal before TTC. 3 months later I was pg with my DD.

It did help me to move on when I did become pg after the miscarriage but I never forgot my angel baby- I still think about him everyday.

Hugs to you hun- its a difficult time for you

Oh hun,

I'm sorry to hear this, my last m/c was when my sis was pregnant and our bubbas would have been 3 months apart.
I was told that you can try straight away after having a m/c but i'm not sure about d & c.
We waited a few months after my 2nd m/c, went and saw a naturopath, took some supplements and changed some parts of our diet. I think it was 3 - 4 months before we fell preg this time sround.
Have you had a check up after your d & C?

I've been to my doctor for bloods and a check up, and my test was still positive and i did lose quite a bit of blood... so have another test in 2 weeks and if thats all good I think shes happy for us to try again... I just don't want to jump into TTC to soon as much as I wish i could.
Any tips on how to move on? I have been keeping busy but when I stop is when i seem to think just about my angel :(

Oh hun I wish I had advice on how to move on, last yr was the hardest yr of my life, i've never felt so low and alone which i'm sure you are probably feeling right now. Wish I could give you a big hug. All I can say is cry as much as you need to, talk about what has happened with your partner, how you are feeling, etc. For months I was affected. We would be doing something and for no reason I would burst into tears because I was thinking about what happened. All I can say is keep talking, don't feel as though you just have to get on with it, don't feel like you shouldn't be crying etc. If you need to say it then say it, I think the best thing for healing is to talk about it, keeping those feelings in and not sharing them just let's them eat you up. I found BB a huge support, the women on here are amazingly supportive. If you just want to vent, post your feelings and plenty of women will surround you with love.
It really is such a hard thing and unless you've been through it I don't think you quite understand. Just lean on the ppl around you.
Thinking of you hun xox

Oh hun that was beautiful :) I guess i shouldn't feel guilty about having a cry..I will admit i was starting to feel like I shouldn't have to cry now its been over a week...but its just hard, im a very emotional person as it is so this has been real hard for me...
Also the fact we concieved on our lil weekend away, this bub was just so special, just like my other 2 but cos i was so relaxed when it happened...

I posted my story on here as I think thats kinda helped getting it all out :)

Don't ever feel guilty! I know how easy it is to feel like you have to put on a brave front, but you don't have to!
Things will get easier over time, but I think we will always have a special place in our hearts that aches for the little ones we lose.
Posting your story and feelings definately helps.
Give yourself some time, you'll know when you're ready to ttc again.
Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to chat.
Thinking of you and your DP xox

Hey Deb,

DH and I bought a plant and a statue for our angel baby. We also bought a candle and would lit the candle whenever we felt that horrible emptiness that lived inside of us for soo long afterwards...It really helped. My DH and I found our grief alittle easier because we had something physical that reminded us of Leigham. DH kept the wax from the candle and has it on his bedside table.
I really don't have any suggestions other than that. I remember the months following the m/c as being the darkest days in my life..it helps to know though that there are people who care- thats what BB is for....we all know how you feel :comfort:

Feel free to PM if you want to chat more :)

Thanks hun :) Its so nice to chat to women who have been thru it all... I know I have women in my life I can talk to over the phone or face to face but sometimes i find coming on BB or other forums just helps.

I finally let it all out today, I had been bottling it up since last Saturday, I"ve had a few emotional moments but was trying to keep strong...I had a driving lesson booked and got a bad migrane, then I couldn't stop thinking about my angel...and also cos Monday was to be my 12 week scan, and my sister is having her 20 week scan the same day... So was good to just be in DFs arms...He thought I was going ok, but i was like no im not... He gets a free counscelling service thru his work so hoping to make use of that...cos I just aren't coping :(

:hug: Huge massive hugs Deb, do not ever feel like you can't feel sad or that it is taking so long to let go. I dont think any of us can ever really let go of our angels but we do come to a place of acceptance I guess, my angel baby's due date 5th anniversary is coming up and I cry every year in the lead up about what was never meant to be. It is ok to grieve and feel sad and I really hope that you can find some peace and healing here on BB. I got AF back after 6 weeks from my D&C and then I had 2 cycles before I had my DD so it was relatively fast. Be gentle with yourself and talk about it as much as you can. xoxox

Did any of you girls ever have anyone say you should "be over it" or something similar only a week or 2 after it happening? My mum is very self centered and she has pretty much said that I should be over it and it would be harder for my sister who lost her first, even though shes now 20 weeks pregnant... and just cause I already have 2 children I shouldn't be as upset...

For starters I had planned on 4 children but had to compromise on 3 with DF... and I don't think it matters if its your first or last baby you lose, its still hard!! She basically said this on my FB page and I feel I can't even have a say on there so giving it a miss for awhile

How this started was my neighbour is currently about 9 weeks preg with her 2nd and this time around shes suffering from morning sickness...and she seems to go on to be about it all the time...and all I said on FB was "am I being to over emotional about it or is it a bit in sensitive of her to go on about it to me" I understand she might not of been thinking straight but I couldn't talk about my pregnancy to someone whos just lost a baby, whether that baby being only 5 weeks or further along...

Sorry to go on, I just feel i might have a bit more support in here....thanks for listening girls xoxo

Deb

No-one directly said to me I should be over it by now- but I know people thought it. It was like they figured it's all over now so move on- it is almost impossible to move on soo quickly and to be honest it initially got harder before it got better.

Yesterday I went on a walk as part of remembrance day for SIDS, stillbirth and miscarriage. DH came too and we found it quite healing. We released a balloon for our angel baby. There were about 300 people there. Anyway, when I saw mum i told her what we did and she asked why we went at I said 'well I had a miscarriage'...she had forgotten about it ! Mum said- oh-you still think about that? And I said "yes mum-everyday".

The thing is Deb- people who havn't had a m/c don't understand. They havn't felt the pain and the emptiness. In most cases they don't mean to be insensitive..That why your BB friends are soo good - we know :hug:

Your neighbor is probably rapt up in her pregnancy and not really thinking about how it impacts on you....but your NOT being over emotional about things. Your hurt and it does take time to move on to a place of acceptance. :comfort:

aww thanks hun

Thats such a wonderful idea, releasing a balloon...might do that sometime soon with DF and the kids :) and how sad your mum had forgotten :( I don't think u could ever forget such a thing... I guess its hurt me with my mum the way she was cos she went thru the very same thing.. I guess she has got a bit harder in her later years...

Well I just found out that not only is my sister having her 20 week scan today but another friend is being induced i think 2 weeks early to have her bub...I'm really happy for her but at the same time its made today even harder with it meant to be the day of our 12 week scan :(