When out today I noticed

That alot of men ask their wives permission when they are shopping together to buy something. eg. A man was looking at a bar of chocolate and his wife said No we arent getting Turkish Delight" Like he was a child...

And I have noticed alot of male friends asking permission to do things. like go out, duck up the road, buy little insignificant purchases and even call their friends....

I am just wondering if this is normal? Does your partner ask permission?
Do you want him to?
Does he just do it anyway?
Do you feel stupid when they do this, esp in public?

Does anyone else feel like they want Men or their partner... to just make a choice by themselves?

Whether it be about wehat to have for dinner or what drink to buy. they just dont know what they want... and ask... I see it EVERYWHERE


I would like Men to act like the sterotypical make for a change.....MaKE A CHOICE WITHOUT ASKING a woman and do what they actually want for a change instead of asking us to decide what they want... Just so they can blame us later, if things go wrong, or they dont like their choice ( applies to alot of circumstances)

Sort of a vent. But more of a wish to the world, for more manly men ;)

Hmmmm I think that a lot of the guys "asking permission" are either asking an opinion, or asking if their partner wants one as well? And it's a way of being courteous to see if it will inconvenience their partner.

Also I love watching the co-dependence of others...

Dh will ask "do you mind..." but never "can I..." for going anywhere. If he needs to make a call he makes it. If he wants Turkish delight he buys it!
While we are a united front, we are also individuals and I like that we have our own independence as well (but only when I'm in a good mood LOL)

I would however, love for dh to get home and tell me "I want X for dinner tonight!"

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I would however, love for dh to get home and tell me "I want X for dinner tonight!"

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I would love that too.. i am so sick of deciding what to cook lol

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I would love that too.. i am so sick of deciding what to cook lol

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or its 'what do you feel like?'
'whatevers easiest darl'

That would be nice!

I think DH and I only ever discuss it if it's a significant amount of money and even then, it's not really asking permission, it's more like letting them know that there will be money out of our account and it's for a valid reason. But we both do that. Mostly we do what we want, we're both adults.

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Dh will ask "do you mind..." but never "can I..."

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Yeah, we always ask each other "you you mind......"
Just out of respect for each other I think.....

S X

We don't ask each other's permission, it's usually "I'm going here on ....'.

My DH is one that does ask.. Not so much for permission, or me to say yes or no. But I do it in reverse for the courtesy...

When buying things cause he has no idea on the money situation and some weeks, we can only get the basics like bread, milk, fruit and vege, and honestly buying a chocolate bar would result in a declined transaction.

And making phone calls and going out, it is more about timing. If I have had a rough day, I would prefer he didn't do it at bath/bed time if he can avoid it..

We ask each other. And it'll be over stupid stuff, like whether or not we can get blueberries at the market. But really, it's just part of joint decision making. We've both got different priorities - nutrition or finance, so for us it's about how to balance those.

On the other hand, I just get told some stuff, like that he's going for a ride this morning. I have right of veto as far as where he rides, for as long as I am massively pregnant (not more than 40 mins away, nowehere out of mobile reach) but when I'm not, he's OK to do what he fancies. It's cycling, not smack :)

[QUOTE=Doing my best;2569781]My DH is one that does ask.. Not so much for permission, or me to say yes or no. But I do it in reverse for the courtesy...

When buying things cause he has no idea on the money situation and some weeks, we can only get the basics like bread, milk, fruit and vege, and honestly buying a chocolate bar would result in a declined transaction.



Exactly the same here with us

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I would however, love for dh to get home and tell me "I want X for dinner tonight!"

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Ahh if only :)

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or its 'what do you feel like?'
'whatevers easiest darl'

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I HATE THIS PHRASE

Why do they find it soooo hard lol

Maybe that works in those relationships?

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or its 'what do you feel like?'
'whatevers easiest darl'

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Yep, this drives me nuts! I say 'how about xyz' he says 'nah, I don't feel like that!' 'well, what do you feel like?' 'I don't know!'
GGGrrrrrr
He has asked me a few times for things but usually after he has been around his brother cause he HAS to ask for everything! I just say, (infront of his bro & sil) 'your a big boy, do what you like!!'
Other times we both ask each other in situations like going out but only to see if plans had already been made.. like these 2 BB meetups I want to go to, but mainly cause I want him to come too & he doesn't usually like being away from the kids on the weekend. itms?

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Dh will ask "do you mind..." but never "can I..." for going anywhere. If he needs to make a call he makes it. If he wants Turkish delight he buys it!
While we are a united front, we are also individuals and I like that we have our own independence as well (but only when I'm in a good mood LOL)

I would however, love for dh to get home and tell me "I want X for dinner tonight!"

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Yep same here. I would also like to add that it isn't just DH that checks in with doing things with me, but I check in with him too.

And quite frankly, I think couples should be respectful of their partner's opinion, wishes, desires when doing anything. For exmaple, with the turkish delight: It may be that they are really 'tight' with money that week and 'shouldn't' be spending money on luxuries; it could be they wish to check whether their partner wanted some too, or was prehaps thinking of an alternative (ie, no point buying turkishish delight if their partner was intending on buying caramel fudge - in my opinion anyway ;) ); or it could simply be a courtesy to let their partner know what they are up too.

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I would love that too.. i am so sick of deciding what to cook lol

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YES YES YES........I'm so sick of always having to pick whats for dinner.

But no my husband doesn't ask permission to buy small things or call people etc and neither do I, that would drive me insane!

Personally I've never noticed it either, but maybe that's because I'm always in a hurry to get the shopping done and get out of there! Hate supermarkets, especially this time of year!

i would love for him to decide on dinner!! but on days were he dosent work, me deciding means he cooks! so its usualy bennificial if i decide.
on going out ect, i ask him, cos im only on my l's i usualy requier him to drive or at the least pick up or drop off, if we go somewere together he leaves it up to me as to when we leave. as for shopping, he dosent ask, he chucks it in the trolly if its something like a bag of skittles or sour worms, he knows ill eat half of it on him anyway! but if its something a bit exy, or something he wants for work ect, he will ask to make sure i have enough to cover it, and usualy puts in for the final total. (yes that might sound wrong to some but i buy the food most weeks as that works best for us) he asks me if he wants to buy something big, its his way of giving me a say so it becomes ours not his, like he didnt ask about buying his bike, he just got it, but he asked about getting a new telly, and that become ours.
hope that makes sence!