Leo Alexander- My VBAC story :)
This story is for Audax :) I couldn't get enough birth stories while i was waiting for DS to be born, so thought you might like another one!
I had been measuring big for most of my pregnancy and had had 2 additional ultrasounds to check on the baby, at the 36 week ultrasound they estimated he already weighed 4kgs and i started to really doubt that i would be able to have the VBAC that i was so desperate and passionate about. A week before my due date, a good friend birthed her 2nd baby naturally, who weighed 5kgs! After visiting her in the hospital i really started to freak out, he was absolutely HUGE! He looked like he was going to sit up and say 'Mama', and a huge fear set in that i was going to have a baby as big as he was and there was no way i would be able to get him out.
At my 39 week appointment on the Thursday, i voiced my fears to the midwife, who also happened to be the one who delivered my friends baby a few days before. She tried to reassure me, but i was still not convinced. When she measured my fundal height and i was up to 45cm she decided that i had better speak to the dr before i left. Luckily, what seemed to be the only dr supportive of VBAC in the whole hospital was on. We had a bit of a chat, and though i was still extremely nervous, i agreed to have a stretch and sweep done as the longer i left the baby in, the bigger he would get and the less likely my VBAC would be!
On Friday i waited patiently for my show, expecting things to happen pretty much the same as with DD (show on the friday, waters broke on sat, contractions started a few hours later, and a baby arrived on sunday). I had a fair amount of diarrhoea, and lots of mucous, but nothing that was an obvious plug. I kept on waiting, hoping (but kind of terrified) that something would happen soon.
I woke with some reasonably painful contractions around 4:30am on Saturday morning and being pretty excited i grabbed my iphone and started timing them, woohoo i thought, every 6 mins and lasting about a minute, this is it! I didn't wake DF, as they weren't particularly painful and i lay in bed timing and breathing through them. My plan was to try and sleep through this stage for as long as possible, so i put on my calm birth relaxation and fell back asleep. At around 7am i woke again, and now they were beginning to hurt! I decided to time them for a while and found they were coming about every 5 mins and were definitely stronger, i jumped onto my old forum and excitedly posted an update that i thought the baby would be here today...
DD woke up a little later and i tried to just ignore the contractions and do our usual morning thing. The contractions weren't too bad, and i wasn't ready to send DD to my parents yet as i thought things might take a while yet. At around 9:30 i decided to go and have a lie down and time the contractions to see where i was up to. As soon as my head hit the pillow though, i was fast asleep! I woke up a little while later only to find that the contractions had stopped entirely. Figuring my body new what it was doing, and i just needed some rest i told DF that he could go to his soccer game and DD and i curled up in bed and watched some Dora the Explorer.
By 4pm when DF STILL hadn't come back from soccer, and no sign of any contractions i started to get really really cranky! This is not how my dream labour was supposed to go! My support person didn't even care enough to hang around, i am left with a 3 year old to look after on my own, and no contractions anywhere in sight! I decided to sit and have a little cry for a bit, but then DF turned up a few minutes later with chocolate and all was forgiven.
As we had just been sitting around all day, i decided it was time to get moving and see if i could bring the contractions back. I told DF to get into the car, we are going for a walk on the beach! He looked outside at the thunder clouds, and the strong winds, and tried to talk me out of it, but i got my way and we were in the car on the 40 minute trip to the beach. We arrived just as the sun was setting, there were less clouds out at the beach than home, and as we pulled into the carpark i had the biggest contraction of all and i knew we had done the right thing. I relaxed instantly, and DF, DD and i started on our walk. DD had a ball racing over the beach, especially when it got dark. Half an hour up the beach though, the rain started to pour down and we turned back picking up the pace. We arrived back at the car absolutely drenched, but thankful that all of my hospital bags where in the car ready to go so we could all have a dry off and a quick change of clothes.
It was pretty late by then, and DF and DD were starving, so we decided to stop and have some dinner. I decided a nice spicy Indian curry would be good to complement our big walk, so we found a nice looking place and stopped for a quick dinner. During dinner i was having some regular contractions that i was mostly able to breathe through, so i decided that DD could spend the night at my parents as i was SURE this baby was ready to come out! After dinner we stopped and picked a bottle of wine, my favourite Brown Brothers Moscato, as the midwife had recommended i have a glass to just relax.
After dropping DD off, we went home and did a bit of acupressure, drank my glass of wine and relaxed for a while. The contractions were tapering off and i decided that it was time for bed. DF was pretty keen on ripening my cervix with some prostaglandins, however it was the last thing i wanted! I was going to try every other induction method first :) Starting to feel a bit disappointed, i went to sleep.
5:30am Sunday morning i woke again to contractions! This time they were hurting! I time them for a while, they were slower this time and around every 8 mins but painful enough for me to decide its time to try out my tens machine. I wake DF up to connect it all up and put it on and we sit and watch the entourage DVD i had hired (i had planned on watching the time travellers wife at this point, but had gotten impatient and watched it a few days earlier!). DF got hooked on the show, but after the first episode i decided to tune it out and concentrate on the contractions instead. They were pretty painful now, and my tens machine was doing a great job of getting me through them whilst i leant against the wall and moaned to remind DF that i was actually in labour here. After a few more episodes of entourage i got up to text mum to check on DD, and to cancel some plans we had made for lunch that day. As soon as i sent the messages, contractions stopped…
I was so disappointed, i was sure that this was the real thing! It was still drizzling outside, but i decided we needed to go for another walk to get things going again. I used a clary sage compress on my tummy while DF got ready, and then we got in the car to drive down to a nice spot by a local river. We stopped for macca's along the way, and were soon having a really nice walk beside the river, however no contractions! After a nice long walk, we were wet through from the drizzle and DF started to get worried about having left Maya for so long. Not being sure if anything further was going to happen we decided to go and pick her up from my parents. The rest of the afternoon flew by with a sleep, and the three of us hanging out in the loungeroom with me being a bit of a misery guts. I kept trying various things to get contractions starting again, but the more i tried, the less happened! In the end, i decided to have another glass of wine and have a nice warm bath with DD. The soak relaxed me nicely and i started to feel a little less grumpy, after DD got out i added some more claret sage oil. DD, DF and I watched Masterchef and then all hopped into bed at 9pm.
10:30pm i woke up with some contractions. Here we go again, i thought! Another night of contractions that don't go anywhere! Trying not to get upset, i put on my calm birth relaxation and went back to sleep.
12pm i woke up to go to the bathroom, ouch! No, seriously, OUCH! What the??
12.02am- OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!!!
12.04am- OOOOOUUUCHHHH… Hold on, do i need to push?? What the??
12.05am- df… df… DF!!! Wake up! OMG OOOOOOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHHHHHH!!
OMG, i am going to have my baby in the bathroom, and i haven't even cleaned it! That thought was enough to get me moving, i made it down the stairs and found the number for the birthing unit. A quick call to say i am having a VBAC and contractions are coming every 2 or so minutes and the pain is all in my scar. I almost make it through the call before another contraction kicks in, the midwife tells me to come on in, and not to eat or drink anything in case i need a ceasarean (real supportive…).
DF has been awake for only a few minutes now, i have probably been awake for 10, and we are in the car on or way to the hospital. Poor DD had been whisked out of bed and into the car and was crying her eyes out. She later told us that she thought a fire breathing robot dinosaur had come to the house and we had to get out straight away (we had seen the robot dinosaur at the easter show a few weeks earlier, and hadn't realised how much it had scared her!). I was able to talk through the contractions at this point and to try and calm her down, by the time we got to my parents house she was feeling better and we drove on to the hospital.
We get to the hospital a few minutes later and need to go through emergency to go up to the birthing unit. Another contraction hits as we walk through the door, and i assume my favourite position leaning against the wall and breathing. I hear the staff behind triage discussing our arrival, hmmm- what do you think? one says, i'm going to say they are probably having a baby… says the other. They buzz us through to the lifts and we go up to maternity. I start to feel a little panicky at this point, we still haven't done our hospital tour, it is booked for the following night! Where do we go, what do we do? This is exactly like the first time round (at a different hospital), and i am not in control! Except, then our midwife is standing in front of us and takes us into the birthing suite, and its all starting to look familiar, the bed, bathroom, monitors, little bed for the baby. This isn't too bad i figure. By now, i have decided i don't actually need to push, and figure that i must be around 3cm and had maybe just panicked a little while we were at home. Contractions are still coming every 2-4 minutes, but not as bad as they were before.
The midwife explains that i need to be monitored continuously because i am trying for a VBAC, and i am prepared for this so let them be strapped on. They have nice long cords, and she explains that i can move around as i like, and if i need to go to the bathroom to just unplug them. I then get up on the bed so she can do an internal. I nearly fall of the bed when she tells me that i am 8cm and my membranes are bulging. I was so glad i had come in when i had, as i really might have had my baby in our bathroom at home! She offers to break my waters so that i can start pushing soon and get it all over with, and this is when i start absolutely freaking out! Nooo, nooo, i am going to be needing a ceasarean to get this baby out, there is no way he is coming out my vagina! Can't she tell how huge he is?
My midwife obviously decides to go for the tough love approach as she tells me- sorry, theatres are closed, you can't have a ceasarean at this time of night! Does she think i am stupid? I am thinking.. If this was an emergency they would be doing it without hesitation, why can't i just have my ceasarean and get it over with?? I really think you should call everyone in, i tell her, i got to 10cm with DD and then she got stuck, so that is what is going to happen this time. You really really need to call them in so that i can have a ceasarean. Too bad, she says, believe in yourself, you can do this. The baby is not going to come out if you keep thinking like that!
She leaves me to labour for the next hour or so, and i start to really panic, thinking of all of the things everyone has told me along the way about how big my baby is, how little chance i have of doing this successfully and all of the risks involved. DF is right there beside me while i tell him all of the reasons this baby cannot come out, and keeps telling me that i can do it and to believe in myself and trust that it will happen. I try my best to tune him out though and keep telling myself that all i really need is that ceasarean!
The midwife comes back and asks me to get back up on the bed and she will break my waters so that i can start pushing, and i stall for some time. Wait... I just need to go to the toilet first, i tell her! I sit down and panic through a couple of more contractions, then POP, my waters break! Brilliant, i think, i get up to check the colour and then spend the next few minutes trying to convince my midwife that they look too green and that there must be meconium in them and now i will have to have my ceasarean… She wasn't convinced, and with some more tough lough i get up on the bed and she checks how dilated i am. When she says i am still 8cm, i tell her that i really want my epidural now. I had seen the anaesthetist at my 39 week check and they had suggested i have an epidural in early labour so that i was ready in case i needed another ceasarean, so when the midwife agreed to call the anaesthetist in my mind this meant that i was finally going to get my ceasarean!
DF thought i was nuts, it was such a complete backflip on everything that i had said the entire way through my pregnancy. I was the most VBAC informed pregnant woman you could get, spent every appointment arguing with drs/sonographers/midwives etc about the ill-informed information they were giving me! I could spurt statistics and research with the best of them, and wasn't afraid to tell anyone who would listen (and those who wouldn't!). Yet when it came to the crunch, i wanted a c-section and an epidural for no obvious reason??
But, i was suddenly very scared and it was stalling my labour. It takes about 1/2 an hour for the anaesthetist to arrive, and i am now relaxed and coping well with the contractions again, just sitting on the edge of the bed and breathing through them. Before long, i am hunched over the bed whilst the anaesthetist tries to get the epidural into place. DF had been weight training throughout my pregnancy so he could support me in all of the positions i had been practicing over the last few months, and sadly the only time i needed to really hold on tight to him was now! He was a great help, as she was taking forever to get it in.
After about 20 mins of the anaesthetist trying to get the needle in, i started to need to push. No way! I thought, not now i am so close to getting my ceasarean! I am not going to push this baby out and risk getting him stuck. So i sat as still and quietly as i possibly could so no one could tell, but my body was pushing with each contraction whether i liked it or not… And then the real pushing started! There was no way i could hide it now, and my midwife quickly showed the anaesthetist the door and said thanks for trying! Meanwhile, i had jumped off the bed, as sitting was entirely wrong at this point, the midwife told me to get back onto the bed on my back and i spent the next few minutes arguing not too! Everything i had read told me this was the worst position to birth in, why on earth would she want me to do that? Her argument was that it was because he was a big baby, she needed to be able to help him in case his shoulders got stuck, so i lay down on the bed and started to push.
By now the pain was gone, it was all that crazy pushing feeling, and then the giant bowling ball feeling! I panicked a few times, but kept reminding myself from Juju Sundins Birth skills book that "its supposed to feel like this", and "just because you feel like you are tearing, doesn't mean you actually are". This really helped, and before i knew it that amazingly wonderful, slithering, relieving feeling of the baby coming out happened and he was placed on my chest.
Huh, what? He really came out? I kept asking everyone. I seriously couldn't believe that he was actually out, and i had really done it! Surely my ceasarean was still coming? But nope, he was here and he was absolutely huge! I didn't think he looked that big, but our midwife, and the 2nd one who came in kept telling me he was a whopper. I had taken just 1/2 an hour to push him out, which i was very pleased with for a my first time pushing.
I had some lovely cuddles for about half an hour while the dr was called to come in and stitch me up. This was by far the worst part, so i will skip over it quickly and just say that it took over an hour and a half to suture, as instead of tearing down the tears went up. Ouch, i used lots of drugs at this point but could still feel every stitch, and DF stayed with DS as i couldn't hold him. After they were done they weighed and measured our bub, we were our midwives record! 4.61kgs, 38.5cm head and 54cms long.
We are so proud and in love with him, he has been such a wonderful baby since coming home! After two weeks of being called every name under the sun we finally named him Leo Alexander.
