late to sleep late to rise

hi everyone,
my 17month daughters sleep routine is driving me mad..... she normally goes to bed between 12pm and 2am and wakes between 10am and 11:30.. everytime i try and get her in an earlier routine it is disturbed by my constant travel between canberra and sydney... her father and family are lateies. she won't settle earlier in fact she gets more hypo around 8 or 9 onwards... unfortunately controlled crying has never been an option for me, my husband wont allow it.. any suggestions out there.
p.s a toddler sleep index would be an advantage...oooops just saw sleep under gentle parenting......lol

Oh dear.......that must be a shocker having a little one who doesn't go to bed until that late!!!

Just a thought.....you said she gets hyper around 8 - 9 pm. Do you think this may be her actually getting over-tired? I know that sometimes Jacob will do this.....he'll go totally crazy and run around like mad when he gets over-tired or over-stimulated and then it will be really difficult to get him to bed (we still have trouble getting him to sleep, but that's another story!).

Do you have any bedtime routine or sleep cues?

My daughter was like this for some time too, it does get better!!! When you are trying to make change with regards to sleep, make sure you do it gradually - you will not win with a child going to bed at 11pm onwards cutting it right back to 8 or even 9pm. Do it gradually, with love and remember, if they aren't tired you will be fighting a losing battle - because she does get all the sleep she needs through sleeping in, she is probably not even tired that late. So start reducing the time gradually, the more time you give her to adjust the more successful you will probably be. Have cues when it's wind down time, even if it's just turning off all the lights, reading the SAME book and snuggling - anything when you know it's the start of her being tired, or she'll just want to play. Good luck!

Perhaps you can gradually pull it earlier by 15mins each night? She won't realise that she's going to bed at 10:45pm instead of 11pm and eventually she'll get to bed earlier & earlier.

Does she have a day sleep or two? Perhaps she's having a nap too late in the afternoon/early evening which would explain why she isn't tired until late? For example, Maddy missed her midday nap yesterday and slept for 2 hours from 4pm through til 6pm. As a result she wasn't tired until 11pm rather than 9pm when I normally wind her down with a feed!

Thankyou for your advise ladies, I do think breaking it down gradually will eventually work. we do have our winddown of same nursery rhymes and mummy cuddles..she does response to my cues, so i guess it will be a slow process but it will be great to have some me time in the end lol ... p.s she usually naps 3 hours after waking.. thanks again for replies.:)

OMG I am having the exact same problem with my DS. It is now 12:07am and he's here and full of beans. I have tried all the cues but he just seems to have his own ideas about bed time. Let me know if you find something that works.

i sure will let you know if i do, but for the time being, just to save all the stress and drama.... i let her tell me when she wants to sleep...sick of fighting it lol. but in two weeks i am going to stick to a proper routine and do the gradual thing... it should work...

It's funny you all have similar aged babies. Marisa was the same at that age. We'd be helplessly trying to read and relax her and all she wanted to do was run up and down the hallway turning the lights on and off! We'd bring her back to bed, but up she got everytime and I felt like the worst mother out having a daughter running the hallway at midnight!!! But she grew out of it :) Perhaps you could also try exhausting some energy before or after dinner, taking her to a park / playcentre or something where she can just run!!! But that big run of unsettled sleep quickly came to a halt with her telling us she was tired and wanted to be in bed around 2yrs.

LOL I think Jacob would belt up and down the hallway or chase the cat all night long if we let him! It's hard work isn't it!