Miss Brianna

OMG she's driving me absolutely bonkers!! To the point where I'm starting to wonder if there's something more going on with her, but there's nothing that stands out as something ITMS.

Ok, she's always been my difficult child. From the day she was born.
She was born a screamer. Colicy for months, because of this her routine as a NB started with her nights being 3am - 2pm. She would just scream to sleep. It was so hard to deal with at the time.
I managed to get her back to 1am bed times by 10 weeks old, but it took years to get her into a decent, before 11pm routine.

She has alot of trouble with her routine being broken. As a baby, the very rare occasions we'd sleep somewhere else for a night, she would scream for hours on end & would not sleep. I remember a birthday of mine. We stayed at MIL's the night, & she was ok til somewhere around midnight. I was still up, so when she wouldn't settle back down, took her out to sit with us. An hour later she was still awake, so I went to bed hoping that'd help her sleep. After 3 hours of screaming, at 4am I took her for a drive, almost an hour later she settled & fell asleep. The second I got out of the car she was awake screaming again. She was about 7 months old.
Again at a friends place. After 3 solid hours of screaming, we get up & go home at 3 or 4 am. This time she was about 16 months old.

She's always been loud & full on. She simply doesn't understand quiet, lol!
Its a bit like DS. He's 2 turning 3 & can be quiet if he remembers, but forgets in seconds. I guess most kids are like that. But even Bri's whisper is over the top loud!

She started school this year. She was only 4.5 at the start of the year, but she was too much at home. She needed stimulation, more than I could give her & I couldn't afford 5 days of day care. Not only that, she'd started to refuse to go. Would cry the second she found out it was DC day & insist that she didn't want to go. Seperation anxiety I think.

But she's loved school. Every second of it. Not one day has she not wanted to go. I have to fight her to stay home when she's sick! These holidays are going to be fun for her. She still doesn't understand holidays/weekends etc.

I don't know how to explain her bahaviours? Kind of compulsive? Like she can't control it?
She's 5.5 & still draws on the walls. I don't mean the odd scribble here & there, we have drawing on every wall in the house & thats with it cleaned off at least once a month.
I don't understand it. She knows its wrong. She knows she'll get in trouble, but she'll still sneak off to her bedroom, hiding a pen or pencil & draw on the walls, or on her bed.

I just bought her & DS a $500 set of bunk beds. I told her if she draws on the wall, or her bed I'd take it back. I'm telling you, if you saw the amount of pen/pencil/texta on that bed, wall & roof, you'd think I do nothing. You'd think it was years worth of drawing. You wouldn't know it'd been all cleaned off not so long ago for a house inspection.

I've told her if she keeps going & the real estate see's it, they'll make us move out & we won't have a house any more. I've yelled, smacked, taken every pencil/texta I find & throw it in the bin, but she still finds them. I don't know where or how, coz I can never find one when I need one.

She's a very emotional, sensitive child. Its very rare that I smack her. Absolute last resort, but I do, because i don't know what the hell else to do at the time!
If I send her to her room, she & tell her she's to stay there, she gets so upset she vomits at times. & she's soooo loud! I can't imagine what the neighbours must think!

This (the drawing) has mostly been in the last 6 months. Well the worst of it has been the last 6 months. I just don't get this. The last 2 weeks I've also had a hard time getting her to get enough sleep. I'm hoping this is just more about the end of the year, but I dunno.
We had an afternoon at the beach, then BBQ at the park with friends. We were home about 8.15, but the kids wouldn't have gotten to sleep til at least 9. Since then Bri is often awake well after 9.30/10pm, despite being sent to bed at 8. 7.30 last night!

I'm having to wake her up in the mornings & she winges about being tired. So I try telling her stop playing when you go to bed! Go to sleep! Light on or off, she won't sleep.

Last night I walked in there at 9.30, after sending her to bed at 7.30 coz they were both so tired & taking pens out of her hand again. I turned on the light & there was MORE drawing on the wall & bed. I told her to get off her bed & made her sleep on the floor :(
Told her, thats it, I'm taking your bed away like I said I would. I also told her that if she didn't wake up herself this morning, she would be staying home. Its their last day today. They're at the pool & waterslide for the day. Sure enough she was awake at 7.30. Probably had something to do with the phone ringing then though :rolleyes:

Mum is a self diagnoser IYKWIM. Maybe its this, maybe its that, read this. I've always looked into/read it, but it hasn't been the case.

I would like to have her tested for ADD/ADHD, even though the school doesn't think she is. They just think she's a loud attention seeker. Always taling over everyone else to make sure the teacher hears her.

She is sensitive to food colourings, so I'm careful with what I give her, but she's still a real handful.

I don't know. I was going to add more about her, but my mind has just gone blank. Sleep deprivation will do that.

I don't know what to do. The drawing on the walls is going too far & I don't know how the hell to stop it!!

:hug: I don't have any experience with this and it is probably far fetched, but could she be needing a creative outlet? Does she need it to wind down after a busy day? I know I sometimes like to write things down if I can't switch off and relax at night, so maybe it is the same for her IYKWIM. Maybe you can hang a role of butcher's paper against the wall in her room for her to draw on and see it that makes a difference? HTH

Phew! Well if the teachers don't see a problem at school, I would put ADHD at the bottom of the list for now. It's not just about high energy levels, it's also got to do with inability to concentrate/absorb information, sit still etc.

Have you had her hearing checked?

It's very tiring (esp with a newborn) but you have to tighten those boundaries and keep them tight for a good few weeks at least. You have to jump right on top of the drawing etc - make her clean it off. If you threaten to take the bed away you HAVE TO DO IT.....so maybe not threaten stuff that means you are being punished too :lol:

DS is an energetic Aspy, but when the boundaries are watertight he gets it.

Are you able to buy her a great big drawing book - BigW have fantastic A3 size artists books with about 120 pages in them - and some pencils and tell her they are just special for her, no one else. It sounds like no matter what you are doing, you are not going to be able to stop the drawing, so you may as well try to get her to channel that passion in a more positive way and draw in the book. Or better still, try to get a great big whiteboard or blackboard to put in her room so if she can't resist the urge to draw on the walls, at least it isn't doing damage. I think that by taking all the pens/pencils/textas away from her, you've inadvertently made her want them more, so that is why she is sneaking them behind your back. Perhaps even set up a specific boundary for drawing, something like no drawing after dinner or once you are in bed and then say that she can draw again in the morning kwim?

I know that about ADD/ADHD, I have ADD myself.

They think she's still just very young, which is definetely fair enough. I have had so many times where I've felt bad for sending her early, but when I look at how much she's improved in her speech etc, i feel like I did do the right thing by her.
And no. I haven't had her hearing tested, even though I was going to months ago. I know it had to be done. I just didn't follow through, because she has no troubles hearing me.
With DD1's glue ear & having to need grommits & now noticing DS also has trouble after a cold, I've never seen it in Bri, so have put it off.
I even have the referral here to have it done.

I've tried so hard to be consistant with the drawing on the walls. I walked in on DS drawing on a book one day & he freaked out & felt that he had to tell me that he's drawing on a book, not on the walls because he's heard it so many times :(

But I do get slack. After saying a thousand times I see more of it & just walk away. I just can't deal with it sometimes without loosing it :(

I did buy her colouring books, to try to get her to leave it off the walls, but not that size. I will do that on Friday.

I just feel like I'm failing somewhere else. I can't win with one of my kids :(

It's not about being slack, it's just some kids need MORE yanno? I've learnt talking and saying the same thing over and over doesn't cut it. Like I said it's tiring as hell and not always achievable EVERY time, I honestly think it's the only way. Actions, not just words.

See if you can get your hands on some of the paper rolls from Ikea - they are about 7 metres long! Maybe part of a new wind down routine for DD is 30 mins quiet drawing in her room with some gentle music on? You can make a big fuss about not letting the others disturb her, so she can see you take her very obvious love of drawing (!) seriously.

*sigh, I have no2 massive boundary pusher here because DD2 travelled under the radar for so long whilst I was sorting out her big brother. Anything she did just seemed mild in comparison so she ended up getting away with a lot more....

I will do that. Umm... anywhere else you can get rolls of paper though? We have no ikea (you've no idea how left out I feel when i hear how great they are :lol:)

I've just sent her for a lay down & *praying* a sleep in my bed, because apparently the world hates her today :rolleyes:

I know how you feel Lulu. DD1 is enough drama with all the 8/9 year old pre teen crap. Having the last word with everything, rolling eyes, ignorance... & all the rest of the shiite she feels the need to do at her age. DD2 is seeing all this & she tries to do the same things, but always ends up grinning at me coz she knows she's not allowed to do it.

Then DS. He wants to be just like daddy. Well not really, but when he gets the ****s, he lashes out & teaching the kids respect when their father refuses to show it is impossible (another part of my life i am trying to sort out...)