Need Advice - Co-sleeping and Night Feeds

My little girl is 9 months old next week. We have been co-sleeping, with her in the bed between DP and I... mostly because she flat out refuses to sleep anywhere else.

It has been .... ok. I like having her so close and it means when she wakes in the night she resettles almost straight away because I just give her the boob, she has a quick drink and she goes back to sleep.

BUT

This is happening EVERY. HOUR

I am exhausted. She is fine though! She is bright eyed, hitting all her milestones and hardly ever cries (unless I try and put her in her cot at night haha) The nurse told me at her checkup I should start making her self settle and only give her water at night because she is on the skinny side and needs to start eating more solids during the day as opposed to breast milk all night???? (she is 74cm long and 8.5kg)

so ladies... I have 2 questions here

1 - Does anyone have any tips for weaning her off her night feeds? And weaning her from co-sleeping? We dont let her cry at all, and that seems to be the only advice nurses or doctors give me :wall:

2- Does anyone or has anyone been through this? Is it normal? Is it ok for us to keep going like this?

I suppose I am looking for reassurance I am not doing something wrong, surely if she is going well.... it isnt such a big deal as long as I can cope with less sleep??


(Sorry if this post doesnt make sense.... I am a sleep deprived monster at the moment haha)

We started getting her off the night feeds so often while sleeping with us.
So I started trying to settle her without the boob, she was 'allowed' 2-3 feeds a night, depending on the day, weather, how much she had eaten etc.
I did also start offering her water at night, or watered down EBM, to try and disconnect her from the boob a little bit.
Staying awake was always my biggest problem! lol She would wake, I would wake, wriggle into position, she would latch and we would fall back asleep. So it meant whenever she stirred or woke she already basically had the nipple in her mouth, and would start suckling again, even if it were only a few seconds or minutes before falling asleep again. This meant I needed to stay awake to see when she had dropped off, and would put the boob away again as soon as she was close to asleep. I think she used it as comfort more than food (she never took a dummy)

Anyway, once I had her down to only a couple of feeds a night, DH was ready for her to sleep in her own bed. So she would go down in the cot, then I would bring her to bed with us to sleep the rest of the night after her first waking when we were in bed. She more often than not had a feed in her room after waking, but as we weren't in bed ourselves, I would resettle her in her cot.

Eventually, the time she spent in our bed was down to only after about 4.30-5am when she would come in for her morning feed, fall asleep and then get up with us at about 7-8.

All up the process took a good 6-8 months I think. DH couldn't get any sleep with her in the bed after a while, and he really needed it with only one week out of every 3 home (miner) so we had to get out of the co-sleeping sooner than I think we would have had there been no reason.
Still, when he does go away, she will bring herself into bed with me at around 3-4 am and sleep with me, even though we no longer BF. When DH is home she sleeps in her bed all night, and barely wakes, comes in to wake us up for breakfast at 7.30 every morning!

That last feed in the morning though was always my fav, and it was the last one we had left when she weaned at 2 years, 7 months.

As they get older, their need for food overnight does decrease, pretty much as they increase their solids during the day.

I would try cluster feeding her some more before bed, and try restricting her access to easy boob a little. Go slow and maybe try to just drop one feed in bed overnight at a time... Have you tried the cot against the bed with no side railing? It might begin the transition easily for all of you.

Hope any of that ramble helps! lol

You could try spacing the feeds more or doign something else to resettle some of the time - she is likely to resist, however. And at this age I think it may be a bit early for night weaning.
This sort of constant night feeding is quite common for some babies at this age. Is she teething at all?
She's still quite young, so you might have better luck getting more milk into her during the day, rather than solids (better source of nutrition) - but that's up to you to judge.
My DS was like this 8-11 months due to teething. I coslept at this time and fed him every 1-2 hours overnight. We night weaned at 14 months - daddy took him the first half of the night and I gradually pushed back his night feed till the morning. It took 2 weeks to stick, then he switched to asking for food in the night - he really was hungry still! - and wasn't able to go all night without food till 18 months.

I wouldn't push a change in settling and a change in sleeping arrangements at the same time, take it slow. Maybe try moving her to a matress on the floor or cot by the bed (or have you tried that?). So she's nearby but starting to get a little more space from you.
Again, she's very young still. She'll learn to get herself to sleep with time, when she's ready. It sounds like she's a very healthy and happy little girl, so you're obviously doing a great job.

Your little one sounds similar to mine. I don't really have any advice, but wanted to say you are not alone.

I have had some success in not having bub attached all night (using techniques similar to what limeslice described) but she still feeds every 1 to 2 hours. my LO is having decent feeds so i do think she still needs them. Getting her to sleep in her cot is even trickier.

your little girl sounds absolutely fine to me - meeting milestones & happy.

i think that 9 months is pretty young to wean off night feeds - but i also tend to think it depends on the individual baby. my DS is 17.5months & i have tried (half-heartedly really) a couple of times since he turned 1 to night wean but without much success. i just haven't felt that he was ready & i wasn't feeling up to pushing things.

there are a couple of gentle parenting books/sites around that promote gentle ways to night wean - the no cry sleep solution is one & the other is dr jay gordan. there's a few threads kicking around on night weaning as well.

i don't think you're doing anything wrong & can certainly keep going - but you need to be happy with it as well. it IS tiring when they wake so often (& frustrating when you feel horrible & they're bouncing around, completely refreshed!).

we never had any success getting DS into a cot. we do have a mattress on the floor in his room & also recently converted his cot to a toddler bed. i find it much easier to settle him on either of those than in the cot. it also means that i can often leave & go back to my own bed once he's gone back to sleep - i've found it easier to do this as he's got older.

:hug: I remember this age well! Both my sons were feeding hourly and were as happy as happy yet I was a wreck!
It will get better :hug: Sorry I have no advice my boys still sleep with me and DS2 still feeds all night lol

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Your little one sounds similar to mine. I don't really have any advice, but wanted to say you are not alone.

I have had some success in not having bub attached all night (using techniques similar to what limeslice described) but she still feeds every 1 to 2 hours. my LO is having decent feeds so i do think she still needs them.

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:yeahthat:

I will say about the cot though. We co-sleep - and now we have the cot with a side off, attached to the side of our bed. It's awesome and so technically we are still co-sleeping but she's in her cot if that makes sense.

Also, DD does wake lots in the night and I feel that she is hungry as she takes big feeds. I'd say she's a little young for night weaning but I'm no expert on that.

:hug:

We have a cot on the side too, but little Miss thinks that is a scam and just wants the big bed!

Thanks for the replies everyone :)

It is good to know my instincts were right that she is too little to stop the night feeds!

I took Tiah to the dr this week to double check nothing is wrong before I change her routines. She had a throat infection and oral thrush. THAT explains the extra feeds and lack of interest in solids! A few days of medication and she is only waking twice for a feed and is chowing down on her solids.

I am a bit disspointed the nurse didnt pick up on this, lucky I didnt just leave her to cry and refuse to feed her!!!!!!

:hug: Good on you for trusting your instincts. Its awful when they get sick and you dont know! xx

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I will say about the cot though. We co-sleep - and now we have the cot with a side off, attached to the side of our bed. It's awesome and so technically we are still co-sleeping but she's in her cot if that makes sense.

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we do this, and I try to put b00bies away between feeds, incase she isn't really that hungry.
since starting solids DD has woken MORE in the night.

Yay! So glad you found out there was actually something wrong!
Enjoy your snuggly feeds :) xo