advice for a new mum on EBM

Thank god I found this section!!

Ladies I need to know that I'm not jepodising my milk supply or my Son's feeding...

I have battled cracked nipples for 4 weeks now. Its painful, stressful and upsetting. I'm cringing through each feed and I'm rushing the feed and I feel like my baby is not feeding well as his attachment is bad. So, I have started expressing off the sorest breast and and breast feeding off the other. Is it wrong that I feel so much more happy giving baby the EBM in a bottle? I can't Shake this feeling of guilt that I am doing the wrong thing :( I am more happy giving him EBM, he is feeding better, sleeping better and I am more happy. I'm considering expressing of both breasts full time...is this bad, does this make me a bad mum? Oh god here are the tears :( please tell me its ok and it won't decrease my supply and I'm not being selfish...

Thanks for reading, any advice is helpful :) xx

Hi Hun,
I don't have any advice, bub is only a week old but I know how hard breastfeeding is, don't feel guilty, there is nothing wrong with what you're doing, don't feel guilty!
I hope someone can come and give you some advice, I'm not sure if expressing full-time affects milk supply.
Good luck Hun :)

By the sounds of things you're doing a wonderful job, feeding with cracked nipples is awful. By the sounds of things my bf experience was very similar to yours. In the early days I resorted to expressing to give my nipples a break cos I had terribly cracked nipples. But in hindsight I tend to think that the powerful suction of the pump did me more harm than good cos it would reopen the cracks that were in the process of healing.

Have you tried a nipple shield? I used them full time from about four to twelve weeks, they let ds attach properly and gave my nipples a chance to heal. They also allowed us to establish a proper bf relationship in the early days. I can't recommend them highly enough.

The other thing that really helped me was giving my nipples a salt water bath a few times a day. I would mix up a solution and then use a medicine glass to cup it over my nipples so they got a good clean out and didn't get infected.

Over time my nipples healed (mind you I still have the scars to show for it), ds's suck got stronger and he learnt to attach properly. At around 12 weeks we were able to gradually drop the shields and have been bfing ever since (he's nearly 18 months).

You're doing a wonderful job and your LO is so lucky to have a mum so committed to giving him breast milk. If you feel changing to ebm will be best for both of you in the longrun, then there is nothing wrong with making that choice, but it is hard work. I've often heard that bf can take months to establish (which was true in my case). For us, we couldn't have done it without the shields. HTH

That's no good! :hug:
Have you seen a lactation consultant? Expressing can work, but breastfeeding is a lot easier in the long run. Getting someone to come to you to see what's going on and try and sort it out may be the best thing to do. In the mean time they can also give you advice on nipple care, expressing, etc.
The ABA can also give you support and advice, including info on expressing and storage of EBM.
Take care

What a tough time you've been having :hug: Well done on persisting so far.

Exclusive expressing is something that can be done, but is probably not your best option longer term. It is very difficult to maintain supply while expressing exclusively and it's a lot of work for you. I can certainly understand that exclusively expressing from one side is bringing you a lot of relief at the moment and sometimes you have to do what works for you at the time. However it is most likely that the damage is being caused by poor attachment and this is something that can nearly always be fixed with the right help. Once your lo is able to attach properly and the existing damage has healed then your options open back up and you will most likely find that returning your baby to the breast on both sides will be easier and more enjoyable. Would you consider seeing a Lactation Consultant? Many mums find them very helpful and well worth while if you are able to fix the problems and feed without pain. A call to the ABA might also help - 1800 mum 2 mum (1800 686 2 686, drop the last 6 for VOIP). In the meantime, have you tried Baby Led Attachment? The ABA website - www.breastfeeding.asn.au - has some information on this and also some video clips that demonstrate it. It can work really well for some babies that are not attaching well otherwise.

All the best hun. You are certainly not doing anything wrong and you are a very dedicated mum to be feeding through pain and taking the time to express :hug:

Hey hun,

Please don't feel guilty! I gave my now 7 month old DD EBM for almost 3 months as she would just not accept the breast no matter what i did. It was a horrible experience for both of us and in the end she was a much happier baby (and me as a mother) just having the milk from a bottle. To make it special for us both i would hold her in the 'breast feeding' position and make eye contact the whole time etc - i actually still do this now. I never had the TV on or let myself be distracted during that time as it was my way of continuing to have the connection with her that i felt i would have had if she was actually bf.

Do whatever is good for the both of you, he will love you no matter how you feed DS. It's never 'wrong' to feel happier cos it's what suits you. I would feel so uncomfy around people who bf but i knew that i was doing what was right for me and DD and that at the end of the day she was getting the exact same thing as a 'properly' bf baby. Admittedly it's an inconvenience at times having to lugg around my pump (i hired a proper electric one) but by the end i could pump a full feed in 10 min as i double pumped so i got over that pretty quickly! I doubt it will decrease your supply as you have already established it (not 100%). You are NOT A BAD MUM at all, your just doing what is right for both of you.

Good luck sweet and let us know how u go! xoxoxo :D

blondie, you're doing a fabulous job.

you are not a bad mum.

and don't feel guilty - it's so understandable to feel relieved and pleased when you're doing things in a way that makes your LO happy, and doesn't cause you pain!!

please feel encouraged - you're doing an awesome job. and feel encouraged also - things will get easier :hug:

I totally "ditto" Miss E's comments re nipple shields - they are fantastic. And you can get really, really thin silicone ones from your lactation consultant, which protect you but shouldn't interfere much with the bond you have while breastfeeding.

Other things which helped my nipples were expressing a bit extra breastmilk and massaging it into my nipples, letting it air dry, and then using Lansinoh after every feed. Hurts a little, but did a lot of good, I thought.

And as much open air time your nipples can get, the better ...

with your questions - yes, you can do it. BUT a lot of women find that expressing alone means in the end that their milk supply reduces over time (and occasionally, straight away). but that's not every woman's experience - like throughout conceiving, pregnancy and labour, so many of us have such different experiences!!

I breastfeed in the morning and at night, and then express during the day, and just before bed, and all is well - but I have had to start supplementing with formula. some women manage to express and keep their baby exclusively breastfeed for ages. some women have their supply drop dramatically as soon as they reduce the number of breastfeeds they do per day.

but once your nipples are not hurting too much, the convenience of breastfeeding directly rather than all the cleaning and assembling etc involved in expressing, you might not want to do a combination :)

but whatever you decide - know that you're doing AWESOME!!

Thanks for the kind words and all the words of encouragement. I have actually seen a lactation consultant and she assured me that Aidan was getting plenty of food and told me that he will "Learn" to attach better in time and perhaps I should express a bit off the breasts before I let him feed so that he can get more breast in the mouth but that hasn't worked and I don't understand how he will just learn to latch properley? I think because my nipples are naturally flat it makes it a bit hard for him to latch. But I think your right, I will get another appointment and ask them to come to me so they can see me feed from both breasts. I have also tried nipple Shields Avent brand and they kept slipping off and also hurt :( does anyone know any better brands?

I am going to keep at the breastfeeding on my left and pump my right. My poor right nipple is way too sore :(

If I decide that I'm going to exclusively express ( for those of you that have done it) how is the best way of doing it? Should I express when I would normally feed from the breast or should I express the unusued breast at the same time as I am feeding
the other breast? Or just express every few hours regardless of when bub feeds?

Oh that's no good either! The LC should be working with you to fix attachment and get your nipples back in shape! :hug: You poor thing - it's good he's getting plenty, but you can't feed with your nipples in that sort of condition.

I found the medala (sp?) ones worked better than avent ones.

Is pumping comfortable on your nipple? I'd pump at the same time as feeding if you can - might find it a bit easier to get letdown. Your breasts will adjust to producing milk whenever you do it. I haven't expressed that much though so someone else will have better advice probably.

Take care of yourself - you're a very hardworking mummy right now

Hun definitely try the medela nipple shields, I am using them because my nipples are small and they make such a difference!

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. I have also tried nipple Shields Avent brand and they kept slipping off and also hurt :( does anyone know any better brands?
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I found the medella ones to be the best (and I tried pretty much every brand out there) because they were the biggest and let bubs suck more of the areola in iykwim? I also found that if I hand expressed a few drops onto the outside rim of the shield before starting, it would stay in place because the little bit of moisture would hold it there iykwim? Also, bubs can smell the milk so is keen to attach rather than wondering what on earth this plastic thing you're trying to put in there mouth is. HTH

Sorry, meant to add... If you do try the shields again, don't let a little bit of initial pain put you off. It's quite normal to have some pain for the first 30 seconds or so while the nipple gets drawn out, even with the shield. And if you are really cracked, they will be tender, but the shields should reduce the pain and let them heal faster because they will ensure a good attachment.

Hi Blondie,

My DS is 4.5months old. For most of that time I've been exclusively expressing. He wasn't interested in feeding at birth, had a few health issues, tongue tie, attachment issues, a LC consultant who took days to return my call etc and it was really doing my head in and I think I was close to getting PND as I really wanted to BF. However DS needed nourishment and I was getting enough through expressing to provide him with his requirements, though I was constantly stressed about this. In the early days he occassionally had formula top-ups if I didn't have enough but for the last 3 months I'd say he's been exclusively fed on EBM. I did take maxilon and then Fenugeek to help with supply.

I still feel envious of those who 'direct' BF, but at the same time I'm proud I've been able to do this and have stuck at it when it really does take dedication and time especially in the early days. I would say now it's getting easier as I can skip a session here and there and still have enough milk for DS. Initially I was expressing from both breasts after every feed considering if he was direct BF I'd be emptying my breasts anyway. I still do both breasts each time but I am now able to skip the odd session and still have enough for my DS's daily feeds. My only thing is I only have a single pump and it is very time consuming for me. I'm thinking of getting a double pump so it's quicker - perhaps my Christmas present to myself and my DS.

At the top of the area you posted this thread is a sticky called "Exclusive Expressers". It has a lot more information from those who have 'been there and done that'. It may be worth a read to help guide you in your decision.

Good luck. I still wish I'd been successful in attaching and 'direct' BF but with DS it seems it wasn't meant to be, so for me this is second best.

Hey chicky,

Glad to hear you are feeling better about everything. I wont comment on anything 'direct' bf wise as i don't know. I think i very much had the same prob (small, flat nipples) and every time we tried - with or without the LC - she would just scream her head off, i would end up in tears and it was just a very very stressful situation...

anywayssss you were asking how you may go about it if you choose to exclusively express. Basically i made sure i was always a feed ahead. So i would express every time DD wanted a feed. I hired an electric pump from the chemist and luckily i already had the attachments, however i think to buy a double pack will set you back about $80 - 120. The hire was $20pw but if you can afford to buy one i would (however there pretty expensive!!!). So pretty much i would feed her, burp her, put her back to bed (if night or if during the day do whatever was next) then express. Like i said previously i would express for 10 min and completely drain both breasts at every express. At first this was pretty tedious as she was feeding every 3 hours but as her feeds spread out to 4/5 hourly i would express at whatever interval she was feeding as i figured that this was when she would have drained my breast anyways. I don't know if this was 'right' as no one ever told me what to do i just did what i thought was right. Whenever we went out i would take the machine with me (it came in a carry bag) and just borrow a spare room wherever we were to have a quick pump. If we were going out i just made sure i expressed before hand and then as soon as i got home - it's not like we ever went out for big late nights at that time!!! Most the time i always had enough EBM for her, however from about 6 weeks i gave her one full formula feed a day as by the end of the day i didn't have enough milk for her bedtime feed - she is a BIG girl though and was taking a lot by this time.

Not sure if this was the info that you were looking for but i hope it helps in some way.

xo

Thanks heaps for the info everyone. Didn't have a great day today. Aidan was sooky and I tried him on the breast and we both ended up cranky and upset. So, I called the LC and got some more tips...tried them and still no luck :( I rang hubby crying and he came home from work to help. I honestly think that I cannot continue Bf'ing and am now going to express only. I'm not too happy but I got to do what's best without totally giving up on it.

Thanks everyone for your info! I really appreciate it hearing your experiences and how you coped with exclusively expressing. It seems like a huge effort bit from what you all tell me, its very much worth it :)

Hey Blondie, :hug:

I went through the same as you hun, the first month was hell for me and DD. I had holes in my nipples and when I went to see my GP she told me to stop breast feeding. I told her that wasn't an option for me so we worked out a plan. I expressed from the sorest side and breast fed from the least painful side. It worked for us and by 4 weeks I was able to fully breast feed. I am so glad that I stuck with it, as painful and emotionally trying it was on us all.

:hug: