Baby Shower Dilemma [VENT] but need help!

Okay, so pretend for a moment that you have issues with your MIL - you dont see each other that often and she kinda drives you nuts most of the time and never makes the effort to contact or see her only son blah blah blah :rolleyes:


Most people have their baby showers around the 7 months mark? Correct? roughly 8 weeks out? Well thats when I decided I want to do mine anyway. Which for us falls in Feb....
Late Feb/Early March is always such a horrible time of year for us as its so busy with birthdays and a music festival that alot of my friends go to.

So anyway as it turns out, the only 2 dates I could do it, would be Sat 12th Feb or Sat 15th Mar (I could change to a Sunday but dont really want to). Im thinking the 12th Feb because 15th March is just too close to my due date for my liking.

So anyway, we've just found out that MIL is going overseas for the first 3 weeks in Feb.....so that means she wont be here for our babyshower. My first thought is "Peeved off" because this now means I have to change the day and the dates around to suit her so that she can come and uummm Hello!! Its her only Son's first child and she didnt think that there would be a baby shower on around that time?? And to think about checking first??

She did the same thing with my Hens and almost missed it cos she was overseas.

So I'm wondering is it going to be completely b*tchy of me to say "too bad Sorry, we cant change it??"
Or should I try and be accommodating and change the date to something that doesnt suit me?

What would you do?

Stuff her. Yeah, it's harsh, but if you never see her often anyway, and don't really get along, I wouldn't be inviting her to begin with :dunno: It'd be different if it was someone you were related to by blood rather than marriage (hence why I feel I need to invite family members I don't like to mine) but a MIL? Meh.

..yeah, I kinda really badly don't like my own inlaws :lol: MIL had a similar reason for not coming to her grandson's funeral so no love there...

Agreed. Have it whenever you prefer. There will always be people it doesn't suit. And if you don't like her that much anyway, all the better :p

Hey Teni! I remember you from our TTC group!

OMG your MIL didn't come to his funeral?? Thats disgusting! That's worse then what my MIL has done.

We are having Drama's with his family at the moment over xmas and I have just said to DH - what do we do? My sister wants to start planning the shower given that she'll send the invites out in January for the shower to be in Feb....

I just know that his family will give us more cr*p if I dont change the date, but at the same time, she should have thought to check.

lol Rowellen so glad that you agree too!

My first thought was exactly that but then I thought "I said to DH I'd try to be more accommodating to them in the future" but just hard when they keep doing stuff that annoys me. lol

Im with everyone else. Stuff her.

Im going through EXACTLY the same thing although mine is the day after my wedding so they will all be here already. Atleast this way they dont have to come back lol

Do what you want!!!

I think it depends, how long has the overseas holiday been booked for, was it before you were PG because if it was then i don't think it's all that fair to be angry at her.
DP's mum booked a cruise right as i found out i was PG, we called her and told her that i would be due the week before she was meant to leave and gave her the option of canceling... she didn't as we never expected me to go over and if i did she agreed it would be her loss but she was only going for a week.

Is there a particular reason you wont change to a sunday?

I can completely see where your coming from and it's up to you when you have it but personally i would be telling her thats when your planning on having it and see what she says, explain WHY you want it then and that you don't want it too close to your due date but i think it's only fair to mention it to her... even if it is to say i've set a date for the baby shower, are you still in Aus then???

Ok, just as another thought, maybe she didn't think you'd have one. I know they weren't the done thing when my Mum had us and my mil wasn't expecting that I would have one cause her daughter and other daughter in law didn't have one and she'd never been to one. So she didn't even know what to expect.

However, if you really can't change the date then I'm sure she'll get over it. And if she definately knew you were planning one then yeah, don't change it.

Thats all really good points Zarava....
She has only booked the holiday in the last month (and to be honest, I've only just clicked now, though we knew she was going last week) and I've definately been pregnant longer than the last month. lol

I actually felt terrible because my own mum had planned to go overseas in April (which i didnt know about) when we fell pregnant so now she has put it off until May/June which she is fine with.

I could change to a Sunday but I dont really want to if I can avoid it. Sunday's are traditionally for me the "getting ready to go back to work/school day" I dont like to do many things on Sunday as I like to do all the house cleaning etc and relax before the working week starts again. So I'd rather do it on the Sat so that I can have Sunday to rest before going back to work (as i'll still be working at that point).

Tara - Yeah her daughters were like that and didnt have one, but she had asked me at the start of the pg if we'd have one, and I said that we would and I even told her the things I was avoiding buying as we'd probably get them at the shower etc...


I know that its probably just one of those cases of "just didnt realise or she didnt click or think" like I didnt realise or click until just now. I guess its just everything else thats been going on with them that's built up on top of it. I think she would make a huge show and dance about being so upset about not being able to make it, which would cause the rest of the family to be angry.

I might just say "this is when we are having it" and see how much drama it does create. If they decided to just be like "oh well" then I wont have to change it but if they create enough of a drama then I might consider changing it.

But your's are right, Im never going to be able to please everyone.