problems with 13 day old newborn not wanting breast after 1 bottle feed

Hi,
Any experience with this problem or advice would be great. I'm in a complete state about this, feel like I've done a really dumb thing which is having awful consequences.

We had the (now seemingly stupid) idea to feed my son 1 bottle feed of expressed milk so that I would get a break for one feed a day & have some bonding time with his Dad (as suggested by several books which I now want to burn). He has been a brilliant breast feeder from day one, not had any problems at all. We gave him 1 feed for 15 minutes (about 20ml) of fresh breast milk using a slow feed teat last night and now he will not go back to my breast. We tried all night and all he did was get frustrated and stopped latching on at all then screamed. He has been a very calm baby so it was very distressing. We got so desperate that after a call to a helpline and the Breastfeeding Ed at the hospital we are now giving him EB through a syringe while he sucks on my finger (weirdly enough, good at latching on to that!). Trying not to use the bottle again as I don't want to make it worse. We have an appointment to see a LC tomorrow at the hospital so hopefully they can help us.

Has anyone been through anything similiar and had success? I am so scared he will not go back to my boobs. Have tried everything suggested to me so far (skin to skin, different holds, soften my breasts first, express a little into his mouth....) but it is not working at all.

Andrea

:hug:
He's so little - he'll be back to the breast if you stick with it. Great to hear you're getting help from an LC.
Have you also tried calling the ABA for advice?
Keep him close to you, if he doesn't want to feed, no worries, try not to associate stress with feeding. You could also try having a nice warm bath together (might be a bit tricky with such a little baby, but the change of scene and relaxation factor can help)
All the best

I agree,
Just try to relax n just keep offering him ur boob wheneva u can
He will latch on soon maybe sit down with him in ur lap wit no bra on n maybe he will do it himself iykwim??
But till then u sound like u r doing it all right
Gl hun

First of all, take a deep breath. It's nothing you have done. One bottle feed will not *wreck* everything. Babies are born to breastfeed. He will go back to it. My bet is that when you next went to feed your breast was very full. And it was lke trying to latch on to a basketball - there was just no *give* in it. Spend some time skin to skin. Maybe have a bath with your little one (you need some-one there to help - they can be slippery little suckers when wet. Relax (I know that sounds ridiculous right now!) Express a little milk before a feed. Or try a breastfeed after he has had a bit of a finger feed - so he's not so ravenous.
BTW, the myth of *bottle feeding ebm so mum can have a rest* is a pervasive myth - many of us have been suckered into it. I'd love to knock that one on the head sometime before I die....You know what - you can breastfeed AND have a rest.

You'll be right - he'll go back because that's where his milk comes from :)
You're right, 'bonding with Dad' isn't actually necessary right now. Dad's time will come, trust all of us here! Right now, biologically, evolutionarily and psychologically, you are IT. It's ok to be IT, it's ok for Dad to take a back seat while you exist for your boy. YOU are the one keeping him alive and that's all he cares about. Look at it from your DS's point of view and it might seem clearer, and you can all let yourselves off the hook :hug:

We had a similar idea before DD was born to you, so don't feel guilty. I even tried a bottle once to see if she'd take it. :rolleyes: That book never got read after I figured it was only going to make a LOT more work for me. I'd be very happy to help Barb hunt down every purveyor of the 'give a bottle to give Mum a break' myth!

He will get back to bfing, and it probably won't take long. If you are seeing the LC, maybe get her to show you how to bf lying down too. One of the night-time, early morning feeds when he's sleepy and it's dark and quiet might be a good time to relax and lie down with him to feed. The change in position and location might help.

GL!

PS BTW we found Daddy doing the bathing was a great bonding experience. As was making Mummy dinner. ;)

Hey Hun just posting to see how u went with the lc n if his back to bf again??
Hope everything worked out

Thanks for the replies everyone!
After a horrible night of him screaming and trying everything I could to get him on we saw the LC yesterday afternoon and she was great. Didn't have to change much except throwing a lot of expressed milk into his mouth from a cup and getting him to suck my finger a lot to calm down. She got him latched on within 30 minutes and after a great feed he was comatose for hours. Poor little guy. We had tried all the things suggested above already ( a lot!!), but I think just having someone else hold his head and make sure the angle was right (and being nice and calm) really helped. He has had two other feeds since then and it is a bit of a struggle but she said that might happen for a few days. I feel pretty confident that he will sort it out and get back to normal though now.

So annoyed at the books though - they were so clear that 1 feed of EB a day would not confuse a baby, but as the LC explained it is hit and miss - some will, some won't. Wish I had known that.

Will be having a ceremonial burning of literature this afternoon.

Thanks for your support everyone, I was in a bit of a panic!

Good to hear you're back on track!! xxxxx

Good on you for getting the right help!! All will be fine :D

don't beat yourself up - it's not an exact science and I'm sure you'll be back on track in no time. My DD2 latched on to boob no probs after six weeks of not having any breastfeeds at all so all babies are different and unfortunately they don't come with a label on their head saying whether they're going to get breast confusion or not.

That sounds positive, good for you for looking into help.

Whenever I go to a bookstore I find all of those evil books in the baby section and move them a shelf or two over. ;) I make sure any Pinky McKay ones are prominently displayed. I figure I'm doing the new mothers of the community a favour. And perhaps if they sell a few less the bookstore will stop keeping them in stock.

oh wesome so good to hear!!
im pretty much the same as fionas dd was off the breast for nearly 3 weeks n she latched on like a pro she now has my breast and bottles..
some babies just want one thing n it sounds like ur lil man wanted just u... n those books are the devil in disguise everyone puts their own opinions on paper n think its a bible to live by.. do wat u feel is best n never second guess urself... congrats sooo happy to see its working out now :)