Feeling so rattled and angry at myself

We had an appt at the hospital today and I left feeling so rattled in my strength to go through with a VBAC and my DP's partner to help me achieve it :(

They threw all these stats at us like of having a sucessful VBAC (45-70%), the rate of rupture. Then also that I'll need constant fetal monitering, I'll need an IV in, that they may have to speed along labour, that I have until 40 weeks 1 day to go into labour naturally then they will break my waters. :wall::wall::wall::wall:

I was gobsmacked, feeling so unsupported and angry, until today the Dr's had been saying 'yay good on you for wanting a VBAC' but it just seems like it was just a token gesture but now thats its getting to the crunch time, its was all just talk. DP left saying who is he to argue with the Dr's, he doesnt have a degree in medicine. How can I respond to that!

Then I start getting unhinged with the same thinking, who am I to argue with them, to say no to FM, to say no to breaking my waters, to want a natural birth. A healthy bub is want we want, why am I risking that for the sake of a natural birth. i cant deny that we only have DS with us because of the c/s, but if I make it to full term, all the reasons for his emergency c/s goes out the door :doh: I just dont know whats right anymore.

Did anyone else trying for a VBAC ever waiver in strength to aim for one? Would love to hear how you got back on track. I have 2 weeks to decide, at my next appt they are booking me in for a c/s otherwise.

I didn't change my mind but circumstances appeared to be against me. I had gestational diabetes and couldn't go past 38 weeks in case dd was to big. My ob wouldn't induce me because of the risk to the scar. So I was booked in for a c sect at 38 weeks.

Dd had other ideas, I went into labour at 35 weeks, was put on nefedipine for two weeks and went into labour again at 37 weeks. I had to be monitored, and had the iv line in and blood work done jic. My waters were broken and dd arrived 40 minutes later, I just started pushing as I felt like I needed to.

With ds he wasn't officially a vbac, but I was prepped again jic but I asked to have the monitor off. After a quick check they were happy to take it off.

I hope you can find the strength in yourself to attempt the vbac if it's what you want to do. It's a hard decision when everyone is against it.

Hi there - I'm just reading your thread now!

I think this is a common scenario (unfortunately) at our hospitals, right up till about 38 weeks they fill us full of support, and then deflate us with their "rules" and expectations.

Something that is very unfair to do, all they do is make us doubt ourselves, whereas they should be filling us with confidence, not trying to bring us down.

All I can say is that these things that they say are protocol are negotiable. You don't have to have constant monitoring (its not necessary for a vbac) you can say you will consent to intermittent monitoring with a doppler, there's no danger to you or the baby in that. You don't have to have the IV for a successful VBAC - its no wonder that their rates of successful VBACs are so low with the lack of support and faith they put in your body.

Just labour as long as you can at home - your body knows what to do, so have faith in your body and your baby to work together in this, rather than have faith in the doctor's ability to have your baby for you ;)

Good luck xxx