When and How to get rid of the Dummy?

Hi girls,
DD is 19 months and has had her dummy since 1 week old, she only has it at bedtime/nap time though. Now that she can talk, she is demanding it more and more and ive been giving in to save myself from her tantrums. she still doesnt have it in all the time but she has it at bedtime, on car trips and if shes generally cranky.
I HATE the idea of having a 2 yr old with a plug still hanging out of her mouth and i often have to ask her to take it out cause she talks with it in.
Im wondering what is a good age to get rid of it, and how? obviously i know there will be a few feral days but is it better to wait a few months so we can do the whole 'swap it for a toy of your choice' and she can understand the dummy is going, or do it sooner rather than later?
i keep telling her, no dummy is only for nunnyes (bedtime) but then she has a huge tantrum and i usually give in.
I cringe when i see kids 3-4 yrs old at the shops and stuff with them still in and i dont want DD to be one of those kids (no offence intended to anyone its just my personal peeve). Thats her only comfort/sleep aid, she doesnt have a fave blankie/toy or anything, i guess thats why ive let her keep it for so long.
Personal experiences and advice welcome! TIA

DSS (ex) was the same.. He LOVED his dummy and often had 1 in his mouth and 1 in each hand.. At 2 (ish) we started telling him he could only have it for bed, and if he asked for it through the day we would tell him he would have to go and sit on his bed, cos dummy was only for bed time.. Sometimes he would refuse, but we just wouldn't give it to him.. Other times he would take it, go lay on his bed have a little suck then bring it back out and give it to us.. He was probably about 2 and a half though so a bit older than 19 months.. It didn't take long before he would forget about it and not ask for it at bed.. He didn't have another comforter either so I thought it would be harder. We never made him give it up at bed time he did that on his own.. We just made sure he never had it when he was awake playing, in public etc..

Or you could give it to the Easter bunny? Or ONLY let her have 1 and when it falls apart thats it no more new ones.. Do you know anyone pregnant that might use a dummy when bub's born? Maybe you could get her to'give' hers to the bubby cos she's a big girl now?? 19 months is still a bubba though, I wouldn't stress about it. Just wean her slowly I reckon..

DD1 had a dummy but only for bedtime, in the end we got sick of her waking up and wanting the dummy put back in so we thought best way to go was cold turkey! This if i remember correctly was before she turned 1, so she didn't have it as long as ur DD but personally i think cold turkey is the best way, and make sure u throw ALL dummies out so if and when u have a rough night/day your not tempted to go grab one and give it too her!

If i remember correctly we only had one rough night! Goodluck with it all!

All my kids have had Dummy's and Jack still has one, my older 2 both got rid of them a bit after 2 and a half. We said that they had to go to the other babies, but them in an envelope and then (we didn't of course) mailed them.

I am totally with you on not liking her having it in her mouth when she is older. I just became really strict from about this age onwards about it being for bedtime only. I had a special box and when they woke up the dummy would go in the box that was on a shelf and then wouldn't get taken out again til they were in bed. If my eldest would want it during the day (not sleep time) I would say to him that he had to get into bed, which he didn't want so he soon forgot about it.

I think it did help for my boys being older when I took it off them because they understood what was happening.

We are 2 months dummy dry for DD 3 years.
For about one year it was only for bed. If she wanted it she had to go to bed. Which of course was AWESOME for bedtime. She did, and still does, take herself to bed. Then a couple of months ago 2 years 9 months we told her she could pick a toy in the shops but she would need to pay for it with her dummies, no more dummies etc.
We talked about it for a week so she really understood and told her she'd be a big girl, no nappies (recently TT), no dummies...built her up.
Then we went to the shops and she handed over 5 dummies (we'd done a very good dummy find) for a soft dressable doll, she chose it but we gave her choices and I figured she could sleep with this.
To her credit she never asked for her dummies when she was upsrt and I think it was because it was her decision. So I will be waiiting until DS is old enought to understand too. It was SO nice having something to make bedtime easier all that time. Especially when a new baby arrived.
GOod luck

my ds1 was 21 months, and ds2 was 3 months when i got rid of there dummies. i had to stay at my dads for a few weeks, and when it was time to go home, i accidently left all of them behind, ds1 started asking for them, i told him that pop wanted them, he wanted to go to the shop and get more, i told him they had stoped selling them while we were away. it was hard for a week or 2, but after that they were fine and adjusted to not having them anymore. (if only there bottles had been that easy!)
good luck, hope you find a way that works!

a friend of mine has a two year old she wanted to wean from bottles. Anyway, they lit a massive bomb fire out the back of their house one night when they had people out there, and he just threw them in - being a boy and destructive! She says it was the best thing that he ever did because it was his "fault" he didn't have his bottle anymore and no "fault" of their own. When he asked for it they reminded him he threw it in the fire. Maybe you could try something like that?

DD1 & DS1 were about 2 1/2 I think when we ditched theirs, I did keep one in the cupboard for ages JIC but we never needed it. Pretty sure we just went with 'you're too big for that now', and I think one of them gave them to the baby animals (not for real :lol:)

My sister gave hers to the baby kangaroos, and my other sister I think to the Easter Bunny or something similar. Maybe you could aim for Easter? It gives her a couple of months to get used to the idea.

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DD1 & DS1 were about 2 1/2 I think when we ditched theirs, I did keep one in the cupboard for ages JIC but we never needed it. Pretty sure we just went with 'you're too big for that now', and I think one of them gave them to the baby animals (not for real :lol:)

My sister gave hers to the baby kangaroos, and my other sister I think to the Easter Bunny or something similar. Maybe you could aim for Easter? It gives her a couple of months to get used to the idea.

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that's a good idea... bribe her with chocolate! XD

We did it when she turned two - cold turkey, no story about giving them to the sick babies in hospital or the fairies taking them (no offence if that's your bag, it just isn't mine ITMS). We just said 'no more dummies, you're a big girl now'. It was tough for a few days, and even months later she would still ask if she was really tired, hurt or upset. Best time to do it - when you're ready for a couple of rough days and feeling strong enough to hold out. And I agree with hj1981 that cold turkey is the best way.
Good luck!

Thanks girls, I don't know if she is smart enough yet to understand giving it away or swapping it for a toy etc.
I would do it over a sunday-Wednesday time period as she has daycare thurs fri and stays at my friends on fri night when I work so I could have it over and done with before anyone else has to deal with it (or ruin my hard work).

Connor and Jessie both turned 2 in Nov and gave there's away to Santa on the weekend in exchange for presents! :dance:

DS just recently ditched his Dummy of his own accord...into the bin with the grass clippings. He watched the rubbish man take it away, and never asked for it again....which was strange! He did this in November so he was just over 3.

When he had his dummy it was for bed time, in the car, and like you said, at times he used to ask for it....but I tried not to let him have it at the shops...that was kind of the compromise. He had two aswell...one for his mouth, and the other he used to rub on his face!

I think how we got rid of it, the lead up to him deciding to chuck it, was that they were starting to get holes in them. I'd told him that I wasn't going to give him a new one once it got holes in, so I think it was just a natural progression, and then he decided - seeing as he loves the lawnmower man AND the rubbish man...that he parted with them knowing that they were going to be involved.

I had tried to get rid of them earlier but he just wasn't ready. I'm glad I waited, as it was easy once done.