Desperate for help with 22 month old needing me to go to sleep

im getting very very frustrated with DD2 :(

background:
slept as per normal for a baby up until age 7 months, it all changed from here on when she bearly slept for the next 9 months with constant ear infections and glue ear.. over that time she always self settled. breastfed overnight around 2 times
had grommet inserted at 16 months :dance: sleep improved to the point where she was self settling and sleeping all night at around 18 months..(weaned off night feeds at 16 months) good sleep lasted about 6 weeks when there came a point where she started needed me to sit with her to go to sleep, that went on for a few months when that suddendly stopped and once again she was doing both.
were again at that point that she needs me to stay with her to go to sleep and tbh im sick of it :( were also having issues where she can be awake for hours, so far we've had a 5 hour wake period followed 2 nights later with a 2 hour wakeup. she also needs me there to get back to sleep if she wakes overnight..daddy used to help but she only wants me at the moment.
the icing on the cake was a 4.30am wake up this morning, she then woke DD1 at 5am, so we've all been up since then, i couldnt resettle her at all :(

soooooo how can i teach her in a nice way to self settle?? im borrowing the no cry sleep solution tomorrow from a BB friend. she still feeds to sleep for lunchtime sleep but not at night, i assume this is part of the problem, but im worried if i stop feeding to sleep she will drop her day sleep and at the moment i really need the break during the day.


sorry this is so long.. im desperate and depressed about it and we need some help, guidence and a stratagy

Olive, are you really sure that we're not sharing the same toddler? We seem to be having the same issues at the same time lately!

I have no answers, just sending you hugs to let you know that you're not alone. My self-settling, wave me out the door 21 mo has disappeared and now I have to sit / lay down with her until she falls asleep. Usually I get sick of it when she is still mucking around 20 mins later and after numerous warnings I walk out leaving her to it. This generally ends up with her standing at the door crying for about a minute before she falls asleep on the floor....where she happily sleeps through till morning because if I try to move her I wake her up & we go through it all again. I don't know what to do about it either, and am kind of taking a hard nose approach in that she only cries for a minute, after I've given her a chance to go to sleep with me there and if she wasn't comfortable on the floor then she would wake up....I have no idea if I am doing the right thing, but I'm hoping she grows out of this & sleeps back in her bed (without me having to sit with her!!!!) very soon!!

Hey Olive, I have no experience with this but wanted to give you a bump.

Just want to say that I am pretty confident that the No cry book will give you some really lovely ideas and a strategy.

:hug: :hug: You're doing great xxxxx

You are so not on your own! No help from me as DD1 (at 4.5) comes in to our bed to sleep somewhere between 10pm-1am and DD2 generally wakes at 2am and we go into DD1's bed to get to sleep. It has been worse and the 2yo molars seem to be a little to blame. Hopefully you can get some sleep/solution soon. We've been too tired to do much else atm which is probably not helping.
xxx

Is it just sitting with her or are you back to feeding her to sleep? I saw somewhere about each day moving bit further out the room so first night sit how you normally do, next night little further away etc til you get out the door.
When she is awake for long periods is she crying or playing about? Does she stop crying as soon as you go in

No help from me Hun, I'm still co sleeping with j because without me he is hopeless and I just can't be bothered dealing with it. Big hugs, hopefully no cry sleep solution can give you some strategies.

No help from me either K is still co sleeping for the same reasons as Ginger.
:hug:

We started having similar issues with our DS1 around the same age - including day sleeps - which made it (and occassionally stills does) hard when I have a now almost 11month old to look after while trying to put DS1 to sleep (cause they are often on opposite sleep times).

With DS1 during the day sleep and putting down to sleep at night I would read a book - but I sit a the bottom of his bed...sometimes he'll drift off during the book, if not I give him a kiss and say close your eyes and go to sleep and I would walk out. If he grumbled I would sit beside the bed, then get up, more grumble I would stand at the door (telling him I'm right here), eventually I'd close the door and wait - if I heard him getting up or grumbling - open the door slightly - letting him know I'm not far away. I would also have to put him back into bed a few times when he got up....I would lay him down, do the kiss, close eyes and tell him to sleep a couple of times, but then if it continued just lay him and walk out (sometimes he would begin to cry, but by the time I closed the door he would stop). Eventually he got the idea and most days/evenings he is pretty good and goes down ok (we still have challenging days though....especially if overtired).

As for night and early morning wake ups...DS1 did that too. If it was/is after 4am - if he comes I usually just let him stay in our room (DH leaves for work around then anyway...so I don't mind having a snuggle with my DS then). If its before then though, I just put him back in his bed and keep telling him to go back to sleep - it can sometimes take 20mins or so and it is sooo tempting to lay next to him, but I don't. I just sit at the end or on the side and eventually he stays and drifts back off.

I'm not sure if any of that will help you, but just know you are not alone. It seems to be a common thing around that age by the look of it. And hopefully you'll work out something that works for you's.

Olive, if we really are sharing the same child then the really great news is that it doesn't last forever!!! DD has been waving me 'bye' again after I tuck her into bed for the last 3 days. Fingers crossed it lasts but its happened all by itself.

How are you going hun? Have you had any luck?

well we've had some success.. i still have to stay with her but it isnt taking as long for her to fall asleep. we did alter her routine a bit.
firstly ive stopped the pre bed feed, instead she gets to pick 4-5 books and one of us reads them to ther in bed, which she loves. im still the one who has to stand by her door til shes asleep as she wont let daddy (though if im not home daddy's fine and infact she fall asleep for him in record time :rolleyes:)
we also started to tell her id stay if she was quiet and not messing around, if she did id leave, if i leave its for only 30 secs or so then i go back. its worked and we're down to about 20 of standingat door as opposed to 40+ mins up to 90 mins!!

That's great news Olive! Hope she continues to improve. We have given both girls a torch so they can read their book on their own after we put them to bed.