Emotional distress and affects on baby at 40 weeks? Please help!!!

I have just found out today that my grandad suffered a massive stroke due to a blood clot on his brain. The dr's have said he won't last through the night and his brain as suffered massive brain damage so he will never wake up, he is gone already...

My mum and dad were up here because I am 40 weeks pregnant tomorrow so they were here for the birth, my grandparents live in Coffs Harbour (6hrs from here) and they left this afternoon to go down and try to make it before he passes. I cannot go anywhere just in case I go into labour.

I was hysterical and couldn't breathe earlier this arvo and again tonight when mum told me there is no hope, and now I am crying on and off... I am sooo upset and distraught and even more so because I know I can't go anywhere until this baby is born... What if I miss his funeral?! I have to be able to be there...

What affect can this emotional distress have on Peanut?? Can it hurt her me being so upset??

*and asking for an induction isn't an option for us and I am not risking driving down if I haven't given birth*

Peanut will be fine. I was emotionally abused by my ex for my whole pregnancy and DD turned out fine. I however wasn't. So try not to stress. I'm sorry for the loss of your grandpa. Unfortunately your baby won't wait.
Take comfort in the fact his soul will be a part of your new born. (one soul exits and another one enters) :hug:

It won't hurt your baby, but given how far along you are, your distress could set off your labour - nothing to worry about obviously, as you're fullterm.

I'm sorry about your granddad :hug:

Distress can set off labour? I thought it would stop it because of the adrenalin?
And thanks girls... It's so very hard...

Hugs so sorry to hear that you are going to loose your grandpa. Your baby will be fine, I hope you go into labour soon so you can make his funeral and say good bye.

xoxo

Feeb: that's what I am hoping.. I figure I have about 4-5 days max to have the bubs or I won't make it down...

Start natural induction things eg nipple stimulation, sex, walk stairs, hot curry etc.

I'm so so sorry about your Grandad :hug:

As hard as it's going to be, you're going to have to not put too much pressure on yourself to birth i.e. get more distressed if you don't go into labour, to allow yourself to get to the funeral if it is planned sooner than later. I can tell how very much you want to be there, but your Grandad will know you are there in your heart if the dates don't happen to work to allow it :hug: Your Grandad would want you to put yourself and bub first and foremost :hug:

Thinking of you and your family, and lots of calming gentle hugs to you

huge :hug:s hun sorry to hear about your granddad. Try not to put pressure on yourself for a time limit to have peanut, your family I'm sure will try and accomdate for you and bubs arrival as best they can. Hope he makes it through the night so your parents can make it down. Thinking of you and your family.

Feeb: I've been Doing it all already! Acupuncture, sex, walking, EPO, rlt, stretch n sweep today, even used that fibre stuff tonight to try to help! Considering castor oil but don't want to just feel sick an have diarrhea!

Thanks everyone else. I am trying to not get too stressed but it's really hard! I know she will come when she is ready and hopefully because of the public hol with NYE n all they won't have the funeral early. I'm just dreading the call that says he's passed. Although I have no idea what's going to happen! The family may decide to keep him on life support if he makes it through the night... Who knows!

Hun I'm so so sorry to hear about your grandad, I'm thinking of you and praying for you all!
Peanut will be fine, she is a strong, healthy little girl. You need to look after yourself at this time and remember, your grandad would want what's best for you & peanut. I will be praying that peanut comes in time for you to make it to the funeral but If she doesn't your grandad & family will understand. Hang in there hun & even though you may not feel like it get plenty of rest, keep eating & drinking.
My thoughts & prayers are with you xox

Huge hugs to you at this sad time. I agree with the others- bub will be fine, you need to concentrate on you, don't put pressure on yourself to have her before the funeral, as the others have said your grandad would rather you and his great grandchild be healthy than be stressing to get to his funeral.

:hug: MrsB. I am so sorry to hear about your Grandpa. I hope you can make it to the funeral. The funeral may not be for a week or so after his passing and (from what I've read) he hasn't passed yet? So you still have time. :hug:

I agree with the others that bubs will be ok. They might get a little more active in your belly as a reaction to the stress - but that should be it.

A couple of weeks before I had DD, I found out that my Dad had suffered a stroke. The stroke had happened a few weeks prior and it was a very messy situation. No one wanted to tell me, my estranged brother began trying to contact me, I had a massive fight with my parents over it... I became very distressed over the lying, my brother contacting me, and fear for my Dad's health (he'd already suffered two massive heart attacks in recent years)... I remember sitting on the bedroom floor crying and being so distressed that I began to contract. But as soon as DH calmed me down, the contractions went away. DD is perfectly fine (well, besides the fact she has me for a Mother! :lol:) They are resilient little beings!

:hug:

MG

:hug: Nothing to add besides what has been already said, but big hugs for you. I'm sorry about your granddad :hug:

Thanks girls!
Going to try to talk to my MW tomorrow about a plan for the next 5 days including maybe a possible elective induction on the 4th if she is not here yet..

Hi darl,

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. For what it's worth, a very similar thing happened to me when I was 37 weeks pregnant. My gradnfather had an aggressive blood cancer (that he never told any of us about :() that caused a stroke, and he fell and broke some bones :( Was in hospital from then until the day he died when I was 39w+6d pregnant. The day he died was the day I went into labour, and even though I knew it was coming I was very upset. I don't know if maybe my body was holding off because I was so stressed and then when he passed it was like a relief (wrong word but you know what I mean), or if I was so upset that it caused labour. Who knows. I had been in 'pre-labour' all afternoon before we heard the news so I have no idea about whether it'll prolong or cause labour!

I travelled 120km each way, right up to that final day, when I said my goodbyes to him (39w5d). But we travelled past Brisbane and there were always hospitals if I had a quick labour and needed to pop in and give birth (:lol:).

For what it's worth, I have an amazing, bubbley, bright, funny, happy little 2yo with me now. She had no troubles at birth, apart from a touch of jaundice which cleared up on its own. We had a long labour, but that was a culmination of a lot of things. She came as our little ray of sunshine, the light in everyones life. She still is :)
I hated people telling me at the time (I wanted to scream at them!) that it is the cycle of life, birth, aging, and death (and rebirth, if you believe in it).

I was 'lucky' in that my family held of having the funeral until the Tuesday after Jazz was born. My granddad passed on a Sunday, my daughter was born on the Tuesday, and the funeral was the folowing Tuesday. They will hopefully be able to hold it off so that you can be there :hug:

Sorry to hear about Grandpa.

My Grandpa died late in my pregnancy, which was very distressing and DD turned out fine...even stayed in until 41 weeks.

This was after I took a tumble, landed on my belly and went into early labour (which obviously stopped) at 36ish weeks...they are pretty tough little things!