Tell me about your sleep routines for your 2 year olds. ADVICE DESPARETELY WANTED

Hi Everyone

I am wanting/NEEDING advice! My 2 and half year old has never been a great sleeper and a lot of it is mine and DH's fault because we aren't consistent with our bedtime routine and practices.
We have always stayed with DS until he falls asleep, which im still happy to do, however it is taking up to an hour and half for him to fall asleep only for him to wake again within 2 hours. we have been co sleeping for ages and there are times when this is great and times like the last few weeks where it isn't working for anyone! DS will ask for his own bed, so we put him in it and then within the hour he is back awake and in with us. its like he just can't stay asleep.

Has anyone been through this, what did you do? I know i need to make a night routine and stick to it and now i am on Mat Leave it should be easier, as i can get dinner prepared earlier etc. (well at least until bub comes in Feb).

So please tell me how the night time works in your house and also if your DD or DS still sleeps during the day. DS currently sleeps for up to 2 hours during the day.

Thanks in advance everyone

DD2 (2 1/2 has 1 day sleep a day she gets cranky without it), she will either go to bed around 12.30 or 1pm and sleep til 3pm on a good day or 2pm on a short sleep day. She goes to bed at night at 7pm and will sleep through until 7am if we are lucky.

DD1 doesnt have day naps unless shes tired and wants one as she is 4yrs old. The girls go to bed together at 7pm, DD2 will go to bed earlier if she cant keep her eyes open.

We usually have dinner at 5pm or 5.30pm
6pm - bath or just relax time before bed
6.30pm - story time, brushing teeth etc
7pm - bedtime.

ETa is he is a cot or a bed? can you make his room more comfortable so he is ok being alone in his room? night lights helped a lot for us when Tara didnt feel that comfy and kept waking up at night.

My DD (2.5) hasn't had a day sleep (well she has the very odd one if needed) since just before her second birthday, this has worked well for us since it makes her sleep better at night, she was getting to the stage that she would be in bed at 9 or 10pm but since removing this day sleep she sleeps from 6.30pm to around 7-7.30am.

Our routine is...
5.30pm Dinner
6.00pm Bath
6.30pm Bed

Well, I say bed but she actually lays down on her pull our sofa with a pillow and blankie and goes to sleep, I then transfer her to bed... her sofa is set up all day with a pillow and blankie and if she ever needs a rest she will go and lay down.

Some days if she is cranky she will lay down and watch Tinkerbell after lunch for a rest but she rarely goes to sleep, it just gives her the reboot she needs.

I know that all children are different but at 2.5 alot of children are beginning to outgrow that day sleep, if he gets sufficant night time sleep he may no longer need it, maybe this is your key?

(I just want to add that my daughter was showing the signs of dropping her day sleep (as early as it may seem) on her own so we changed our routine and it worked for us, I know this may not be the case for everyone)

DS is two, he sleeps of a day at about 1pm, until 3pm, usually a two hour nap.... He's alway out to it by 3pm.

He goes to bed at 9.30 or 10pm, but Hubby is a chef and I have to pick him up from shift work.

DS is used to these times though, if we are home he will go to bed earlier,

Our night routine s something like this,

dinner 6pm
Bath 7-7.30pm
Tv , reading, quiet time,
Pick daddy up, sometimes falls asleep in the car
Or bed by 10pm
He sleeps through until 8am most days :)

DD hasn't had a regular day sleep since about 2.5, she will have one every now and then but basically we just have 'quiet time' instead where she has some down time with books.

6pm - Dinner
6:30 - Bath/PJs
7pm - Story
7-7:30 - Bed time

We let DD take a pile of books to bed with her and if she is not tired she will quietly 'read' the books on her own until she falls asleep. We put a little lamp next to her bed that she can turn on and off on her own and she loves that! Surprisingly the lamp doesn't keep her awake but helps her be more independant.

My DS still has a day sleep at nearly 5yo! hehe. I put both DS & DD down for a sleep about 11.30am.. any later and they don't go to bed at night. They can both stay up all day, but it takes it's toll after a while... and they are not pleasant to be around! So where we can.. we still have day sleeps in this house :) If they don't fall asleep I don't force it (usually LOL.. unless we know we'll be having a late night or something).

We don't have a strict night routine, but generally (when DH is at work etc) it's dinner at about 5.30-6.00. Bath. Pick up DH. Then he does the bed routine of toilet & brush teeth. Sometimes he'll fool around with them, or read a story or something, so bedtime is probably on average 7.30-8.00. DS sleeps right through til about 6.30. DD wakes up some time through the night and climbs in with us (usually without us noticing). Just this morning I was thinking I might start walking her back to her bed through the night (if I notice her come in) because it'll be easier when the bub comes if she's stays in her bed.

We make a big fuss praising DD staying in her bed ALLLLL night when she does.. and every night she says she will again, but doesn't usually. She is usually waking up thirsty, and I have before settled her back in her bed with a quick drink and cuddles good night again. But co-sleeping really was our saviour when they were constantly waking in the night, and we just went with that so we could all get some sleep. They do sleep through in their own bed eventually. And tbh.. I don't think you've done anything wrong. Getting off to sleep and staying asleep are very different IMO. My kids weren't great at staying asleep either. Not too hard to get to sleep.. but just didn't stay asleep. It definitely got better as they got older, and I've found it's easier not to fight them with it.

Funnily enough.. DS started sleeping through properly once he was dry at night. I have a sneaking suspicion this could be the case with DD too.. that it might be her bladder waking her... tho she's not taking herself to the toilet through the night cos she's still in a night nappy. Some times she is dry in the morning.. and sometimes she sleeps through.. hmmm... I've never actually worked out if it really is related.

Just re-read your post. Re the sitting with him to fall asleep... we did this for a long time too. Once it started taking a long and frustrating amount of time for them to go off to sleep, we started getting up and leaving. I'd say.. ok.. mummy needs to go do something (toilet or something).. I'll be back in a few minutes. they'd wait for me.. and when I got back I'd heap LOTS of praise on them.. oh you're such a big girl staying in your bed! I'd sit for a little bit longer.. ok.. mummy needs to go and do a few things in the kitchen.. i'll come back and check on you ok? Took a little while to reduce the amount of times I had to go back.. but there was no tears.. just lots of praise when they stayed lying down in the bed alone.

Don't know if any of that helps... but just know you're not alone with a waking toddler :)

hi everyone
thanks for your replies. DS is in a bed and has been for a year, he coped with this change well. We gave up the dummy in November and he also coped pretty well with this. he goes off to sleep fairly well but its the constant waking iin the middle of the night that is doing my head in! Interestingly enough we went away for three nights (got home yesteday) and he whilst we were away he slept in his porta cot in the same room as us and although he went to bed much later than normal each night he stirred for the first time at 5am each morning and was quite happy to go back to sleep almost straight away if we put him in with us. Where as at home he often is awake before midnight and then every 2 hours after that!

he has a nightlight in his room and the door is always open and he has no issues with daytime sleeps in his room at all. Sometimes when he wkes he tells me he needs to do a wee (he is toilet trained during the day) but most times he just wants Mummy or a cup of milk. I actually rang Tweddle in Melbourne today because i don't know how to stop this night waking, i have got a lady calling me tomorrow afternoon.
I am going to try a new routine as of today that will go something like:
bath 5.30pm
Tea 6-6.30 (when DH gets home as we always eat as a family)
6.30-7.30 quiet play
7.30 stories and bed.
he always wants to go to sleep in our bed and then we move him to his room, when we go to bed but mabe i need to start in his room and just be firm that he needs to stay in his bed. or maybe i should put the portacot up in our room and transfer him to that and see if that helps!
Any further advice or ideas will be greatly appreciated as i am kind of at my wits end with it all

I think maybe it is best to put him straight in his own bed rather than in your bed and then moving him. Maybe he wakes up as he is not where he expects to be (where he fell asleep) ifkwim.
I actually saw a program a few months ago about a girl with really bad sleep problems, and the solution was just to be very strict about her being in her own room and making it as boring as possible when her mum went in to see her, for example she had to just check on her, then not speak (or not speak much) as the stimulation of mum wasn't helping. Not sure if that is useful for you.