Does anyone else have a bub that just won't go to sleep on their back?

My darling little boy just flails his arms and legs everywhere every time I put him on his back. He resists swaddling probably as its so hot/summer atm, so we just tuck him in really tight with a light wrap into his bassinette - but on his back he just kicks the blankets straight off and he never settles.
As he has colic and reflux, I can completely understand why he doesn't want to sleep all stretched out on his back - the natural thing is to curl your legs up when your tummy hurts and you cant do that on your back.
Ive experimented with putting him on his tummy - he goes to sleep straight away and sleeps for 4hrs at times.. most of the time.. sometimes he just wants to sleep on his tummy on my chest though.
Ive been sleeping him on his tummy during the day only and checking on him frequently, but Im worried about these SIDS recommendations. And I caved in last night and put him on his tummy to go to sleep in the middle of the night - on his own mattress in the middle of my bed tucked in with his own sheets just like he would be in his cot, and I was able to get some sleep and so did he (DH is sleeping in another room atm)..
Has anyone else been through this drama? Why do these SIDS rec's just seem so unrealistic?

If it's too hot have you tried swaddling him in a muslin wrap (or something else really really thin) and just a nappy?

I've never done anything other than on their backs even when DD co-slept for 6months.

Tinkerbelle we have the exact same problem. Our little girl has silent reflux and colic too. She will not settle on her back at all. I've resorted to lying in a semi upright position all night with her sleeping on my chest. The bassinet is raised 30degrees but doesn't help. If she's not asleep on my chest she is asleep on her back in a semi upright position beside me cradled in my arm as we both try sleep. She hates being swaddled too but the flailing wakes her if she's not. I keep her just in a short sleeved/leg suit and wrap her, pat her to sleep and then move her into the crook of my arm or if she is on my chest I just put a muslin wrap over here.
It's tough. I'll be interested to see what others have to say.

We were given some wafer-thin muslins, I think they might have been from Best & Less, and they are ace on a hot day. We wrap up our little noodle, then give her a rock, and a top-up feed, then another rock, then when she is completely zonko, put her in the cot, and then put another muslin over the top and tuck her in really tightly, so that if she gets colic attacks, she there's resistance against her body. It's the only way that works for us, otherwise she has to sleep on her side, which I only let her do if I am sleeping next to her. She does sleep on her tummy, but I won't let her because of the SIDS risk.

DS sleeps on his belly all the time, unless he has a full belly this is the only way he will settle and stay asleep, he hates blankets full stop, wont have a bar of them, no matter how tight you do it he will wriggle his way out. we've resorted to dressing him in long arm/leg suits. anyway the point i was making is hes a tummy sleeper and hes doing just fine. from what i hear its actually quite common and the stronger they get and the better neck control they have the more confindent you will get to. just go with the flow and do what works for you and bub

All three of mine have been tummy sleepers. Coincidentally (maybe?) 2 have had reflux, one with silent reflux.

I have a breathing monitor attached to their cot, so I'm not concerned with the SIDS risk associated when lying them on their tummy to sleep.

DD Was a tummy sleeper, and wasn't swaddled from about 2 weeks old - she hated it and given she wanted to sleep on her tummy, swaddling was just reckless.

So long as you do it properly, there is really no reason tummy sleeping can't be safe, and get yourself a breathing monitor like Mel if you are concerned. (I never used one)

i have the same issue as you both limeslice and raffy - DS doesnt really like blankets either and cries and arches his back the moment i try to swaddle him, he will tolerate it with arms free but then they are flailing everywhere.. sleeping in jumpsuits without blankets sounds like a good idea, i never thought of that. at the moment, we aren't quite there yet though as DS will tolerate being tucked in to his bed tightly with a wrap most of the time.

interesting - ive never heard of these breathing monitors, how do they work? sounds like a good idea, but what do they alert you to changes in breathing before there becomes a problem?

I had the same problem with my DD. She wouldn't tolerate being wrapped even with muslin, and would settle really well on her tummy. We use a babysense breathing monitor, it will alarm if breathing slows to less than 10 breaths in a minute which gives us a sense of security.

When putting DD to sleep on her back - we were told about the "wrap me up swaddle" by Love Me Baby (google or eBay) - It's THE best advice I have ever been given. She just wears just a nappy if its hot, or normal clothes if its not & is zipped into this lil stretchy suit - she can still suck her hands, kick legs etc, but she doesn't flail around & stuff. She sleeps up to 12hrs at night now. I've been using them since she was 4 weeks old.

3 or 4 other mums in my mothers group are using them now. The latest mum was really skeptical & only started in the last week. According to her FB updates, she is rapt with it :)

Cheers Bec


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I *think* the pads of them go under the sheet and they will sound an alarm if the breathing isnt felt for 20 seconds, and again after 30 seconds I believe.
Someone who has one should be able to explain it better lol.

There is no real need to swaddle, or tuck in tightly etc. If he is on his tummy, this is only going to make it dangerous.
If he sleeps better free, leave him be. The only think swaddling really does is help relive their startle reflex from waking them up. We never had this problem with Charlotte much at all, so again, swaddling wasn't necessary.

The monitors basically detect movement and are sensitive enough to detect breathing. Occassionally will older babies you'll get a false alarm if they roll into the corner of the cot and if you have a fan on in the room it can make the monitor ineffective.

I too had one, DS2, who just would scream when on his back. I slept him on his tummy with a breathing monitor - we just really had no other way of getting him to sleep. He wouldn't even have a bar of co-sleeping.

It's hard isn't it? You just want to do the right thing and the 'right' thing is to sleep babies on thier backs... My DD would not sleep on her back - no matter how hard I tried or what I did. If I made her try and sleep on her back she would scream all night, if I flipped her over and let her go onto her tummy she'd settle quickly and sleep soundly... I was at my witts end because we both desperately needed sleep but I I didn't want her sleeping on her tummy. I used to cry to my mum asking her what I should do and she thought I was crazy!! She said when I was born tummy sleeping was the recommended way to put babies to sleep and that I wouldn't sleep any other way anyway.... So I went out and got an angel care monitor which detects breathing. She's been a happy, tummy sleeping baby ever since! I understand your concerns but just know that probably more babies sleep on their tummmies than you think, people just don't announce it as it is taboo

I have the angel care monitor with pads it's really good, sounds within 5 secs of taking her out of the basinett. I'm still too scared to let her tummy sleep, maybe I'm being ridiculous and should let her.

My ds4 is a tummy sleeper and would not settle any other way.
He has reflux also.
I am sure some of it also has to do with the fact that they sleep them on there tummy's in the nursery and he was in there for 15 weeks.
He still tummy sleeps now at one and if I roll him over he rolls straight back onto his tummy.