Its another issue with my mil.
For the last couple of months she has told me that she is babysitting the girls, whilst DH and I go out. Everytime she has mentioned it I have so far dismissed her. I don't want her to babysit the girls. Actually I really would like her to earn the right to babysit them. And also I dont want to be told that she is babysitting, I dont like being told what to do.
Bit of background
To go back to when DD1 was born. When DD1 was born she needed some extra love at the hospital. Instead of being supportive and trusting that we were doing what was best for DD1 and what the drs said, she just criticised us. A couple of days after DD1 was born and knowing I had no family near me, let alone female friends or family, she left to go and look after her parents, even thouugh it was damn obvious DH and I needed some support. (Actually it turns out she hadnt listened to a thing we had said about DD1 being sick, talking about it a while back, she says 'oh I never knew this'. Even though we lived at the hospital for the first month after she was born.)
When DD1 was about 6 weeks old, they moved away. For the next 18months, not once did they visit outside the quick trip on their way past our town to see someone else. She only rings once every now and then, and when she does its only for stories to tell others and remind me that I need to send her more photos.
In 2009, we accidently moved in with them for about 5 months. During this time, not once sis she offer to babysit DD1, not once did she take time out to take her to the park, not once did she just sit and play with her.
At the moment we live about 5 mins away, she has to drive past our place to go to work everyday. She rarely pops in for a visit, and when she does she just sits and questions DD1.
Now all of a sudden she tells me she is going to babysit the girls for me. She's going to babysit whilst I go to the movies with her relatives, whilst DH and I go out for dinner (mil doesnt even realise that DD2 is still bfed to sleep, nor is a great sleeper), whilst I go shopping, whilst I do anything.
Recently we went to the nursing home where her mother is. Whilst there she takes the girls from us, and lets them run and scream down the hallways of the hursing home, even though we told her they arent allowed to bahave that way. Recently we went to lunch with them, and here I am telling DD2 not to walk along a high ledge above cement, she is encouraging the behaviour, wncouraging her to walk and play and jump on the ledge.
How can I have her babysit the girls? She doesnt want to be in their lives unless it benefits the way people see her. She rarely comes over and isnt at all interested in the way we are raising the girls. She doesnt even take notice of what rules we have in our own home, let alone anywhere else.
Dh had the same thoughts as me in the beginning of all this but now he has the POV of let her babysit, as she'll never want to do it again after the girls let loose on her.
Am I over-reacting?
