Bridesmaid issues - help needed!

Ugh I could really use some advice. This is long so I appreciate anything you lovely girls can give me!

My sister is getting ready in November, 4 months after I am due to give birth to our second child. I am the only bridemaid (it is a small wedding) and my sis has told me that I am free to wear whatever style I want as long as it's matched as closely as possible to some other things (chair cover ribbons etc).

The colour is quite specific and I'm pretty sure because of that I'm not going to be able to buy any kind of dress that I could wear again - it'll have to be a proper bridesmaid dress. I have told my sis that I am probably going to try and hire a dress rather than buy, given that I will most likely never wear it again. With a new bub coming I have some big costs coming up, and I just can't see my way to spend $300-$400 on a one-off dress.

She sounded a bit miffed about it but is fine for me to do that. My only problem is that I have no idea what size I will be. And to try to arrange a dress after the birth with a newborn and an active 2 year old boy is going to be a challenge.

Next problem!! My family is expecting me to get ready at my parent's house and go in the limo to the venue. This will mean I will be there all morning while DH tries to wrestle two kids to get ready, and I will be either needing to express or feed at least once while at my parents' house. Am I being out of line by asking that I make my own way to the venue, enabling me to help DH and feed as well?

It's all just rotten timing. I agreed to be a bridesmaid prior to becoming pregnant, and we knew it would be a challenge but now that we are getting into the logistics of it it is freaking me out. Has anyone been a bridesmaid that soon after giving birth and how did you cope with finding dresses/transport etc?

It's made complicated by the fact that my sis has some serious health issues and potentially needs another op in the coming months. Her health probs have led to depression and whenever I try to address these issues with her or my mum it turns into world war three. I want nothing more than to support my sister and give her a wonderful day but I just see hurdles each way I turn. :wall:

Also, I wasn't going to take the new baby to the wedding because my sister's soon to be in-law's kids aren't vaccinated and the bub won't have had all it's whooping cough jabs. But now I'm wondering if it's easier to take bub (and keep our distance from the other kids) and leave 2 year old at home. Any thoughts?

What size were you before bub?
What size do you think you will be straight after having bub?
I'm only asking to get an idea on sizing cause BFing will help to loose wieght quicker & also with an active 2yo to chase after...
4Mths maybe a significant amount of time to loose quite a bit more weight/dress sizes then you think! but your boobs maybe bigger???
What is the colour

As for transport, how about you get ready at home then get Dh to drop you off there & go to the ceremony with the bridal party?
Taking bub, even with keeping your distance you may want to express anyway or you will have to take into account a dress suitable for BFing.

Thanks DM for your reply.

I am usually a size 10
With DS I lost weight really quickly but was a 12 for a while. I am worried though because I seem to be putting on weight more quickly with this bub and my friends who have had their second have found it much harder to lose the weight.
I plan on BF so fingers crossed it will go quickly but I don't want to count on it.
My boobs arent usually much bigger than usual when BF (I'm a DD anyway!) so the size shouldnt vary but yes you're right - BF in a dress will be difficult. Grr!! I can't remember how urgent my boobs got if skipping a feed at 4 months - do they still go crazy at that stage?

I think your suggestion re transport may have to be it - although I'd like to make it as easy on DH as possible.

Thanks heaps for your response

Well, there are alot of dresses on the net you can get some cheaper then hiring, then you can get the bigger size & get it slightly altered down to fit if needed & still come off cheaper than hiring (picked up a few for $25ea brand new & the 1 I chose cost $50 to alter)
What is the colour?????
Atleast if your home getting ready, you will atleast be there if Dh has any dramas & he will only be without you for the time it takes to drop you off then you arrive with the others & back with DH & bub straight after the ceremony. Much easier on him then being away from you the whole day I reccon.

dont know if this will help but i just got married i put alot of trust in ebay and bought my dress and my bridesmaid dress of a lady from fashionimpression she only sells on ebay and is in melb but doesnt have a shop. i paid 230 for my dress and 120 for bridesmaid dress and i left it late cause i was pregnant and ordered 8wks before my wedding day and i just explained that i was needing it for such and such date and had got it 2wks before wedding. if i could put a photo up i would

Sorry DM - the colour is red, I THINK it's a deep red I haven't seen a swatch yet. If it was just "red" then no prob but to match to a particular will be a bit more tricky.

Yeah I'm thinkin the net might be the way to go - some friends have bought great stuff I just need to be do it early I guess and give myself time to get it altered if need be.

Thanks Ree - I will have a look!

I was bridesmaid for my SIL and brother and DS2 was 8 weeks old. When I went to have fitting (she picked dresses and told all 4 of us where to go get fitted) I was about 16 weeks then and SIL and brother did not know, I told lady in shop so we ordered a dress that fitted me then (flowey dress) as I figured 16 weeks preg would be approx size 8 weeks post birth.)

I had final fitting only 9 days before wedding for alterations. All was fine apart from issue of shoes feet were still swollen so mad dash to find new silver sandles!!

Morning of wedding I took DS2 with me to SIL parents house and had my friend who was coming to wedding to baby sit for me meet me there, DH was with DS1 who was 20 months old) and my parents at place we were staying (where wedding was).

Hope that helps

Well, that's perfect! (the reason for me asking!) I have a red one here you can have! It would be a size 10 & red. I bought it as a wedding dress but came in the wrong colour (red) I wanted pink! but I kept it for a rainy day!
It is one of those you see with the white insert & embroydery on it. actually, I just went in to check the colour & I have 2!!! I remember now that I couldn't decide on which one to get so I got both! LOL. I chose the 1 I wanted then re-ordered it in the RIGHT colour!! The 2nd one also has the white insert but instead of embroydery, it has beeding & sequins in a pretty pattern. They are a dark red but not ultra deep red , I think it's like a royal red.
Either way, your welcome to them if you want them!
Oh & my boobs were a DD at the time also!

Could you have a look online at breastfeeding dresses? Might be worth a shot, there are some gorgeous formal ones out there, and it might make the feeding thing a bit easier to sort.
I'd find a good dressmaker/seamstress and err on the larger side, and then get the dress altered/taken in a few days before the wedding.

Not sure if it will be much help or anything, but I got married 10weeks after bub and fit into my wedding dress that I bought when I was only 8weeks and wasn't yet showing. Maybe you could get a dress in a size bigger, and then you have the option of having it taken in? I also found that my boobs were massive by the end of the night, but it was at 10weeks instead of 4months so yours may settle a bit more by then.

Could you take bub with you to get ready, and then you could feed up til getting dressed?

Hope everything works out for you and your sister has a beautiful wedding

Wow Feeb 8 weeks that makes my four months look like a very long time - what a trooper! Thanks for your info, it makes me feel less worried, and that it can be managed.

Good idea Nelle - I've been looking at styles but I can't see anything that could either suit a bra or that I wouldnt need to half take off just to get the boobs out. and I've heard that this venue isn't too BF friendly - my friend had to BF sitting on the disabled toilet...

Thanks Belle - god again, getting married 10 weeks after bub, once again you're a trooper!

And DM!! wow what a sweetie you are. I will PM you tomorrow.

Oh and in relation to BF I didnt wear a bra as couldnt find a wireless BF bra, so Just made sure top part was tight (size G boobs) had to be tight! And when i went to feed I slide show string straps down and fed that way was half naked, venue had a nice little lounge with couch before walk into toilets.