The "attachment" phase - when will it end?

DD is 6 months old today :dance:

For about the last 2 months she has pretty much cried every single time someone other than DH or myself holds her. Sometimes she can be 'fooled' if held facing outwards and if I don't talk or am not around, but apart from that, she just wants her Mumma.

Sometimes this bothers me, other days not so much - I KNOW it's a phase and that all bubs go through it, but other people tend to make comments (ugh, you know the ones) and even DH is saying she needs to "toughen up".

I don't think so!! She's only little! Plus she sees other people almost every day, whether it's family, one of my girlfriends, or the woolies checkout operator ha ha. It's not like I won't give her to people for cuddles, but I always warn them that she will probably cry, and she always does. She gets babysat about every few weeks by MIL, we are trying to leave her with MIL or SIL more often, even if just for an hour.

She has also started refusing to take a bottle of EBM from anyone that isn't DH (I don't bottle feed her as she gets the boobie from me ha ha). Which makes me nervous leaving her for longer periods of time (eg going out for a movie/dinner etc - at xmas we had a work party for DH and she didn't drink for 6 hours!! This was when we discovered she was refusing the bottle).

She is fine when we're at home and I go out of the room (when she's on her playmat) - unless she is tired she will play without me being right there.

Can anyone offer any advice, share their story etc? At mother's group she is the only one who does this out of 6, although she is the oldest but only by a few weeks.

They all do it and they all do it in their own way. It's natural and normal and very healthy for them to have a strong attachment to their mums. It's a bit inconventient at times, I know, but there isn't much you can do about it. The worst thing you can do is try to force them to be separate - that will only increase their anxiety.

I can't remember when DS stopped doing this so much (it still resurfaces at times - I'll always be his mummy afteall :)) - but by 2 he was quite secure and independent. But they're all different so it's not really possible to predict.

It irks me when people feel the need to comment on this like it's a bad thing. As you say, she's only very little!

my DS has always been cuddly (i'm going with a positive take on it :lol:) but i noticed a real difference when he started walking. he may well change again, but it was like once he could walk, he felt more independent or something :dunno: he still wants cuddles but cries less for me now that he can verbalise "MUM" really well & can just yell it from wherever he is :lol:

i dunno why people need to comment, i've never been able to figure it out. although it was a mum at playgroup that sort of changed my way of thinking. i was just about over the whole clingy business & when DS was attached to me one day she commented that i was so lucky to have a cuddly baby & she wished she got so much attention from her son!

I wrote a very similar thread a few months ago, as I think one too many people had said 'oohhh she's a real mummy's girl isn't she' and it used to drive me batty. But I too was feeling like she'd always be clingy, as she went through such a long stage of it - everything you are describing. She is now 10 months old, and for the last say 6 weeks she has really developed some confidence and is nowhere near as clingy, and generally happy to go to everyone now. She even had her first day in CC yesterday and didn't get upset at all, so it does pass. Until the next bought of it anyways I'm sure.....

Everyone lately has said how confident she seems, and the only thing I can think of is that we let her be clingy if that was what she wanted, we never forced her on anyone or out of our arms, we let her decide herself when she was ready. So MadB makes alot of sense when she says that forcing it will increase the anxiety. For you and her. Try not to compare her to the other bubs around you (it's hard I know) as they will all be doing things in their own unique individual way.

I used to pre-empt the comments by saying "he loves me, can't be without me" (in a happy way, not complaining IFYWIM) People can't argue with that, and it frames it as a good thing, both in my mind & theirs.

Thanks girls - I think I just needed some encouragement from other mummies that yes, this is normal! After a while it gets you down when people always comment on it. Snowy I like your idea and Sloane I really do love that she is super cuddly - having waited so long and gone through so much to have her, I am happy to give her lots of cuddles :) I definitely don't want to force her to go to other people, usually once she gets upset I give her a few seconds to see if she'll calm down i.e. I don't snatch her back immediately haha, then she comes back to me. Always stops crying straight away, cheeky little monkey!!

Ok so feeling much more positive about this now - thanks BB as usual!