{Vent} I just want a VBA2C - so cut the negativity OB
"Yes, of course you can have a VBAC my dear, you'll have to progress in certain time frames, but I see no issues with that happening"....
Fast forward four weeks:
"Yes dear, you can have a VBAC, first sign of a contraction, call the hospital, tell them you've had two c/sections previously and head straight in - otherwise you could have a dead baby on your hands" :o
Fast forward another four weeks to yesterdays appointment that left me in tears:
"Dear, each time you come in you keep asking for more when in fact you are lucky I'm allowing you to even attempt a VBA2C. NO, you can't have water - not in the bath or the shower. Reason being we'll need to have you in theatre within 4 minutes and getting you out of the tub will increase that time". (Gee, thanks for the confidence). "But it is an out of the ordinary procedure and everyone, OB's and midwifes, will be worried and scared," (righto, so I suffer for your lack of knowledge?).
I'd had all these visions of a peaceful, calming environment, possibly in a bath tub surrounded by my DH, doula and student midwife. Now I have the horrible thought of a brightly lit room,an ugly hospital gown, with an OB peaking through the door every 5 mins insisting I hurry up 'or else' - and I'm honestly feeling defeated. And I keep being reminded "dear, it depends on the OB on the day, they could override anything I say" - and I hate having things 'up in the air' - I want to know guidelines, things I can and can't do, things I can and can't have - surely its written in black and white somewhere? Yes, I've seen some protocols for my State - but they contradict what my OB is insisting.
Again, I know about the scare tactics OB's use, but I'm not feeling 'up to' the fight. I recall leaving the appointment, my student midwifes arm around me, tears down my face, muttering the words 'no wonder so many go underground and have homebirths' - a few ladies looked toward me mortified as they awaited their appointments.
Even my DH didn't know the risks of another c/section as opposed to a VBA2C - funnily the OB's rarely mention those figures huh?
Thanks for reading.