DD's birthday party dilemma. WWYD?

We would like to have a party for DD. We did one last year for her at home and had all her friends and parents of her friends over including all of mothers group and others. It was a lot of work and a lot of money and a lot of cleaning up so bot doing that again.

We would like to go to a play centre that DD loves. We have a budget of $250 for the party. We can only afford to invite max 10 little friends as it costs per head.

I have this dillemma though...There are 12 children in our mothers group and she has about 5 other friends out of mothers group.

I cant invite them all. There is no way we could afford it and I refuse to pay for some and then expect others to pay and 17 is way too many kids IMO.

So what do I do? There are 2 kids that will def come from mothers group as I was friends with their parents way before we all had babies, but with the other 10 kids, DD isnt really close to all of them. Maybe 3 others in the group she seems to really love playing with.

Geez organising parties are hard when you are trying not to offend anyone.

Any suggestins welcome (except dont have a party). :)

have others from mums group had parties and not invited everyone?
do you get a discount at play centre for a large group and then ask that they pay for themselves?

None of them had birthday parties last year where they invited everyone. They may have just done something with family and friends out of mothers group. This year DD has been to 4parties from mothers group friends. They invited everyone from mothers group. I know others have had parties this year but not invited mothers group at all.

NO discount at the play centre for large group. :(

I know that this particular play centre in her fav, are there other play centres around a little cheaper thouhg? They seem to have similar things?

:think: tricky

If you would feel comfortable doing it I think just invite a few from mums group and her other friends its her party after all

The way we got around this (as all the Mums in the mother's group are in the same situation of course), is that we had one party for all the mother's group kids when it was about half-way between the eldest and youngest's birthdays. One of the Mums volunteered her back yard, each Mum brought a plate and we did a kind of 'kris kringle' for presents. Then we had separate parties for just our own friends and family and our own birthday girl. This meant that we all weren't trying to juggle 'double booking' since all the MG kids' birthdays are within 6 weeks of eachother, and it saved expense and stress of having all those parties (and potential party guests).

What about simple park party? I know around here you can book rotundas at park, put on a BBQ, have few salads, nibbles, kids play on the playground and that it, no clean up and cheap!

I think my son is one of only a few who does not invite all his classmates to his birthday parties. Many either go without a party, or wait until they can afford all 20 kids to come. Personally I limit my kids to only their closest friends, (for example maybe 6 if we are having it at home over lunchtime, and 2 if he wants them to come for dinner and a DVD) and for a playcentre I would only invite the few that he is good friends with. However this is the norm for the older kids who in general don't want every kid they know to come to their birthday and would rather limit the numbers.

So for your daughter, if you really want a playcentre party, then only invite those you and she are closest to out of mothers group. Sooner or later all the mums will start doing the same and limiting party numbers, and I'm sure if you don't make a huge deal of it they won't mind.

To be honest I would do all or none at that stage. It is tricky and expensive but having been on the receiving end of no invite it was pretty gutting to hear everyone else carry on about it. I agree that when the kids are bigger and in a huge group then it is easier to go with the kids friends where as it is more about the adults in MG. It does depend on the dynamics of the group and the split too - if only one or 2 are excluded than that is a bit difficult. Each to their own tho!!!

I agree with MAK.

I would just invite the 5 kids from outside MG and explain to the 12 other Mothers in MG that you couldn't afford to invite everyone and you hope they understand that rather than exclude some people, you decided it was best not to invite anyone from MG.

or alternatevly (sp) you could invite everyone along to the party and ask instead of a present would they mind paying the admission fee??

That's the Problem I faced :) what I did was invite DDs closest friends (7 of them) and their parents plus our fam and friends. Then we got together during the week with mums group at a play centre :) it worked well! GL!!

What about mentioning prior to the invites going out that DD is having a party and "she" is doing the inviting... mention that she's only allowed to invite ** number of children due to the costs involved... that way they know it's limiting numbers... also gives them an excuse to use when their parties come around...