finding a path - advice please?
if i've put this in the wrong spot feel free to move it (and its kind of long)
Back when i was 11 i saw my uncle who was dying of cancer pass away in a dream, i saw him in the hospital room with monitors on and i saw his soul leave his body, float upto the roof where I 'was' and he said something to me (i dont know what) before he vanished though the roof. i woke up at 5:46am. 20mins later we got the call to say he had passed into the next word. i woke up at the time they pronounced him dead. again at 16 i bought angel cards, Kryon ones. in the shop i pulled three out of the deck and was drawn to them. so i buy some (a new unopened pack) and i went back to my then BF's place and shuffle them i then pulled out the exact same three in the exact same order. (now the rest i have never told any one but DH and then then boyfriend who saw it)
a few moments later i kind of "blacked out" but didn't i saw an alternit (i guess) way things could have turned out with the then boyfriend in regards to him taking his own life. (his aunt died and he'd thought about it. but i'd not known of it at all) and i saw it play out, in detail that made me think it was real. when i 'came round' i explained what i saw and the look on his face was one of utter shock having never told any one about it. and i was too not knowing what it all meant. after a while i read them very regularly. i did a 'reading' for my mum (who is a skeptic and then some) and told her things she wasn't ready to hear about her feelings towards her father, that he had passed into the next world and she need not feel the hurt/anger towards him as it did her no good. they also helped me guide DH into opening lines of communication with his mum. in the past i have also had in DH's words "a strange way of sensing physical and mental pain" mainly if i hug some one i ask if xzy hurts or i find a sore point and work on it. I've picked up on DH's sore backs before he's said a word and my MIL's back but she wont let me touch it.
Since having the boys i've not really used them. nor have i really worked on my spiritual side. which i'm wanting to start to do again as the road ahead with DJ looks to be very tough and i think i need to learn how to 'recharge' and i guess also re-connect to my healing side. i'm starting to grow my crystal collection, once again. i have also dusted off my angel board (roll a dice while thinking of the crystal angel and see where it lands, i did a reading off this and told a friend she would have a baby, but it would never be earth side. 6 months later she suffered a missed misscarrage)
I guess i'm just looking for some advice as to how to get back on to a similar path i was on before. one where my mind body and spirit where all working closer together as well as strengthening my mind and spirit. i'm thinking when we have moved of planting a meditation/herb garden for myself (and hopefully DH and the kids when they're older) what sort of plants/herbs should i plant so i can use them to clense both crystals/the house/myself and strengthen my meditation? Down the tack that is. i yearn to feel the connection i once did to the spirit world and i guess i need to re-learn how to listen to the spirits, and re-open my third eye. if i do meditate i use while candles what other colors can i use?
when i meditate i use a blue crystal on my third eye chakra along with rose quarts and clear plus i always have a clear quarts (had it for 8 years, the reason i got into crystals) and rutilated quartz around my neck plus a small topaz in a bracelet and garnet ring on a necklace. is there any crystals i should avoid? i'm starting with crystals as i know when i'm 'drawn' to one so its a starting place for me. any advice would be fantastic as i have an urge to find myself spiritually again and i dont have any one IRL to ask.
Thank-you in advance.
