4 yr old finally asleep

as u may or may not know, my husband and i do foster care and we have an almost 4 year old boy who has more then likely been through alot in his short 4 years of life....but we are really battling with his sleep and behaviour atm, its really tough on the rest of the children aswell and my dh and i.

he has slept a tiny 2 hrs in 24 hrs:o:o he finally went to bed at 10 pm, Dh was up till 3am with him and wen he came to bed i was up with him, at 5:30am he finally went to sleep just to wake again at 7:10am :wall:the thing is when he wake he wakes screaming and yelling that he cant see (despite the light on), that he cant hear the music (its on loud enough to hear in the kitchen) he wakes cause hes scared of the rain or the wind or the thunder, he wakes cause he just wants us, he wakes for many many reasons every night. we have tried everything from redirecting him to bed, to not saying anything, to keeping up later at night, etc. we have now gone to seeking professional help so we are seeing a peadatrician (sp?) and he has prescribed a medication to help his behaviour, im not usually for medication but after 5 mths im ready to try anything for the 1st week there was a massive change he was sleeping his behaviour was not as aggressive, he displayed less violence was able to reason etc etc
but here we are this week 4 weeks on and only just getting 2 hrs sleep at night.

we are also booked in for our 1st play therepy session on tuesday hopefully this will help work through some previous issues and hopefully we will all get some sleep.


not sure what i want from this post perhaps was just a vent, maybe some advice dunno really
we are exhauseted and at our wits end, on one hand we really want to stick this out ( just got a 2year order to remain in care) but on the other hand hes affecting the entire household and we are all sleep deprived. i just dont know what to do.

if you have made it this far thanks for reading

Oh that is hard...
Firstly that poor boy!! My heart is breaking right now as I lie next to my 4 yr old... I can't imagine what this little soul has been through, do sad :(

Secondly you ARE amazing!!!! Seriously!! You and your dh!!! Wow
You deserve a reward!! I wanted to do this but dh can't handle the 4 we have
I can't offer advise as I could only imagine what this little one has suffered and I don't even want to imagine.. It sounds to me though he is extremely stressed and very insecure which is the worst thing ecspecially a 4 yr old..
Have you tried sleeping next to him and tried comfort sleeping?
It's such a hard situation but massive hugs and I kiss your feet!! Your awesome!!

awww thank you, i dont think we deserve any rewards the reward for us is just helping kids where they need it, i can understand your Dh it can get very busy, lol

we have not yet tried comfort sleeping as your not really allowed to and i currently co sleep with my 1 yr old, we do sit with him while he goes to sleep and reassure him alot during the night,
it breaks my heart aswell when i look at my 3 yr old ds who goes to bed not a care in the world and sleeps all night and then this poor boy who has all the worries in the world and fears alot of things makes me soo sad. hopefully we are on the right track to getting him some help though....fingers crossed

thankyou for all your kind words :)

Hun, just opening your heart says alot about you I think your great :)

Maybe see if theere is such thing as a sleep therapist or maybe take him to relaxation therapy?
Has he been counseled?

WOW! What an absolutely amazing and beautiful person you are :hug: so for that I want to say a big thank you, because of someone as caring as you this little boy is experiencing so much that he never been provided. The poor sweet innocent little man :( he sounds so scared and unsure of the world around him, gosh, so unfair for such a small child. Maybe he is having nightmares and wakes disorientated :dunno:

It sounds incredibly difficult hun and I have no suggestions or ideas but I am blown away by your kindness!

I think perseverance is the key. I can't even think to imagine what he has been through ;( and every time he shuts his eyes it's properly what he sees hence waking up screaming. Reassure, give lots of cuddles.

Maybe getting him a special torch, so if he wakes up he can turn it on and know he is safe. Or a special blanket "use your imagination and call it the extra safety awesome blanket that 'insert fav cartoon here' made just for you to keep you safe" take him with you to get it, they have cheap ones around, so doesn't have to be exxy. Maybe that with the torch might make him feel extra special and more secure.

I hope he can get a good night sleep soon xoxox and you's too


Love MN ;-)

I forgot to mention ur pretty dam awesome! ;)


Love MN ;-)

ooo a torch i never though of that, he does have a night light and a froggie blanket that his biological dad brought for him and he is quite attatched to, but i might give the torch idea a go. it is quite possible that he wakes diorientated as sometimes he find it hard to differentiate between reality, dreams and his imagination...

its tough but we are trying to be consistent and reassuring. everynight dh and i discuss our plan for the night and im forever greatful to dh as he is great at taking turns at getting up and taking the kids so i get me time and a snooze which helps alot.

last night we only got up 3 times all of which were due to the thunder so quite understandable really....

thank you all for your kind words support and advice i trully love the BB community :)

Wow, I really admire what you're doing.
I get that he can't sleep in your bed, but if things don't improve, what about a bed in your room? Even one of those foam kiddie couches that pulls out to a bed? Maybe just hearing you guys in the room would help?
Then again, If it doesn't, there goes any chance of sleep for you.
Good luck, it can't be easy

Hi, sorry to hear the trouble but your doing an amazing job for troubled kids. I have two step kids and one was being an issue cos their mother let's them sleep with her. To stop them climbing in with us I got a large Teddy, same size as the child, put my clothes on it that I have worn so it smells like me and let the child sleep with that. Worked a charm, we check on her now and she's always cuddled up to big Ted. The other thing I have is a heat bag Teddy with lavendar that she sleeps with that calms her to down and eases her to sleep. Good luck.