Why does it have to be so hard

Just struggling a little and need to get it out. Honestly why does this breastfeeding have to be so damn hard at the start. Here I am 3rd child, you would have thought I would have a handle on these early days by now... but no having the same issues that I had with my two boys.

DD is 2.5 weeks old now, we actually had a great start to the breastfeeding but it's all starting to go down hill now. I have always had massive engorgement problems with each and every one plus a very fast flow. The boys didn't handle the flow at all. Little DD however was coping ok with the flow until she caught the flu that the rest of us have. Now she can barely breathe and it's wreaking havoc on her attachment, she can't handle the flow and is choking constantly, so therefeore she is gulping and swallowing so much wind that she is in constant pain.

Not to mention the fact that I am sooo sick with this flu myself, I have a horrible sinus infection that is making me feel like crap but I can't get into a doctor to get AB's for it. My husband is suffering from the dreaded man flu version of it and I also have a sick 1 and 3 year old. It's all a little to much.

Despite extensive block feeding she is still getting too much foremilk and her poo's are often green with lactose overload, adding to the gassiness and colic of her gulping.

The engorgement hurts, my head hurts, and I am almost 100% certain we now have thrush because my boobs sting and ache and itch and are just so painful. Once again, can't get into a doctor to get it checked so just another thing to put up with. I am tired, it's hard work, 3 kids under 4, being sick, having kids that are sick, recovering from a c-section, thrush, engorgement, attachment issues because of her breathing, choking, the wind, her being unsettled, the lactose overload.... I am just freaking tired.

I don't know are these early days a test... if you survive it, you will survive the rest of mother hood. Some days I feel like the whole universe is against successful breastfeeding. Gah no need to reply, I know this too will pass... just needed to vent.

Aww you poor thing! I don't really have any advise, but do you have a hospital with an after hours clinic you could go to if you can't get into a dr? That's where I went yesterday cause I got mastitis and couldnt get into any dr's either :(
Hope you feel better soon xx

:hug: That all does sound like just a little bit too much. I'm sending lots of :hug:, and the suggestion that, if possible, to express a little before feeding. Just so that DD will get less foremilk and a bit more (hopefully) of the filling stuff!

And when DD is napping, put a little dab of eucalyptus oil on a tissue or something near her cot/bassinet/wherever she is sleeping to help clear her sinuses too.

I hope your DH manages to suck up his man flu so that he can help you a bit too if possible. Take care.

Hi,

You have had a terrible day - 3 small children including a sick baby (and sick mama) It's not fair.
But, how did it get to be about breastfeeding? Would taking breastfeeding out of the equation make the cold go away in your baby? In you? You would still feel like hell, and your baby would still be a baby, needing constant care, feeding and attention. Breastfeeding often gets the bad rap (and that scares other new/pregnant mums) when it's not about that at all. You have sure had a bad time - and it's good to debrief, and you know it's about the age of your baby and the lack of support for you as a mum, much more than it is about breastfeeding

You probably have a good point there... I think I'm just feeling a bit miserable about feeding today because of the thrush. Feeding her right now is simply agony. On top of the normal early issues of engorgement and attachment. I've been in agony the last 2 days because we don't have a chemist open on weekends so I've been able to get nothing for the thrush. So today for me it has been about the feeding cos it was the final cherry on top of a miserable week.

I'll get over it, I'm just exhausted and in pain and with no support network just looking for a place to vent.

Hope you feel bit better soon. I love your daughter's name!

That does not sound like a fun weekend at all! Sorry you're having such a hard time - hope things improve for you soon. At least the chemist will be open again tomorrow.

Oh hun, what a shocking time :hug: That's a lot to deal with at once, and everything feels worse when you are sick :hug:

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I don't know are these early days a test... if you survive it, you will survive the rest of mother hood.

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That's an interesting thought. I wonder if it's true - maybe we'll have the answer once we've been through the teenage years with two boys!!

FIrst things first hun. Engorgement really, really sucks. A one-off full express helps lots of mums to feel more comfortable. I know it was a real life saver for me. You just express as much as you can from both breasts. They will refill but hopefully not as much. This also helps clear the lymphatic fluid that builds up in the early days. If you are still engorged after that, you might like to express before each feed until your breast is softer. Expressing before a feed until you get the first let-down will also slow the flow for the baby so could kill two birds with one stone.

Now the pain. Is there any damage to your nipples? If it is thrush, as well as the treatment from the pharmacy, rest and a good diet help a lot - the two things new mums have the most trouble getting. See if you can call in some favours and have people drop off some meals for you. Is there anyone who can look after the boys for a little while so you can sleep for a bit? Thrush and infection often go together especially if there is broken skin so it could be worth seeing a GP when you can if the pain doesn't go away soon. Also, remember thrush is fungal and easily spread so hygiene is extra important. Some mums wash sheets and towels regularly in hot water and/or vinegar to prevent cross-infection.

I hope everyone is healthy again soon so you can feel better, get some rest, and enjoy your little princess :hug:

:grouphug: we're here for you.

Cold washers, or even frozen face washers really helped with engorgement for me, then a wasm washer before a feed to help let down and to soften the nipple.

This too shall pass, this too shall pass, this too shall pass....