Cant let go......

I think DS1 is ready to go to kindy, but I dont want him to go :(

Everyone I know has their kids in some sort of childcare except me, and i am feeling the pressure to send him :( I would much prefer to have a mothers group....but have never had one :( I dont want to start my own cause I am always the organiser of everything and dont want to be stressed organising that too :(


How do you let go and just let them go and not worry they will be sad, or be treated badly. the thing that does not sit well with me is my child screaming for me and me walking away and leaving him with a stranger and being told it will hurt you more than him :(

I know he is ready he keeps asking to go and I know he probably would not cry, but I still can not let go :(

Aww honey :hug:

I hate to say it but he will be going to kindy next year won't he? Then prep the year after? As hard as it is for us to not worry about them, you gotta let them go and spread their wings! I'm not saying you should put him in care now, but that he will be going next year and it might be hard for him then cos he's never been seperated from you?

I'd give it a try and if it's too hard, maybe family day care or something instead? Start with a couple if hours and ease yourself into it. From what I've seen of your little man, he's pretty independent and confident (thanks to you!) so I think he would do just fine. Xxx

:hug: I just started DS. We are both having a hard time, but he stops crying before I do!
I seriously don't see why he has to be away from me... He doesn't really need school... does he?
I had no problems with the girls!!

:hug: Im not there yet, but can understand not wanting to let your little one go, I dont even like leaving her for an hour with someone I trust to do the shopping!
Just remember they are childcare proffesionals, and they have rules and regulations in place to keep kids happy and safe.
BIG HUGS! :hug:

:hug: Look at LOTS of places and find one that you are really comfortable with! The place that I chose for mine when they started were SO reassuring, J would cry and cry when I left it and it broke my heart but they reassured me that they would not let him get too distressed and if he was they would call me. In their words "we don't want a distressed child any more than you do so we WILL call you" I called them as it turned out, only 5 minutes later and he had stopped crying and was eating toast and didn't cry again for the rest of the day. Kids really are resilient and most places these days do a wonderful job of caring for our kids when we aren't there. :hug: I too think it is good to get them accustomed to being away from you before school 9-330 5 days a week is a big jump from being home all day every day with you and a caring centre and kinder is the perfect place to start.

:hug: aww sweets I am not there yet either but I can definitely see how hard it would be to let them go!!
He will be well looked after, but don't do it just because you feel pressured to do it, you have to be ready and completely comfortable!! Look around, and don't put him somewhere until you feel good about it.

xx

Oh Boomba :( :hug:
Wish we lived close by, you could join my group of extremely relaxed mothers. I think you'd fit it perfectly ;)

I'm not looking forward to the day my DD goes to kindy either :(
She is like your DS, always asking when she will be going to school. The other day I told her when she goes to school, I'll be sad and miss her lots. Her response, "and I'll say, Its okay mummy, I'm just going to school!" heehee. When they're ready, they're ready! If you decide to go through with it, make sure you're both comfortable. Find one perfect for you both! Don't feel pressured to do what others are doing, you are his mother, do what you want, and what you feel is best.
:hug: xo

Big hugs lovely :hug:. It's so hard to let them go at any time throughout life! Even when DS1 started primary school (after 2 years of kinder) I still felt so sad! I hope it gets easier with the next two LOL!

As you know, DS1 was a super-clingy kid when he started 3 year old kinder. I spoke about my concerns with the kinder teacher first and she reassured me (a lot like Tanstar's teacher did) that she would call me if he was too distressed. On the first day DS1 did cry and cling to me, but the teacher led him away and gave him cuddles and read him a story as I walked out (it was all I could do not to cry!). I got a phone call about 5 mins after I got home and thought "Uh oh", but the teacher was just ringing to let me know that DS1 calmed down within a few minutes and was happily playing. He ended up having a great time and was happy when I came to pick him up 2 hours later. It took a few weeks for the crying to stop (he was a tough case!), but it was always the same, he'd calm down quickly and have a great time. If I knew he wasn't enjoying it and was distressed the whole time, I would have put kinder off another year, but luckily he just needed a bit of adjustment to being on his own, then he was all good. He is still friends, 3 years later, with a lot of the kids from kinder, it's so sweet :).

M might be like K though, I took him to kinder for the first time and he just said "Bye mum!" and happily joined in with the other kids ;)

At the end of the day, if you don't feel ready, don't put pressure on yourself. You could always try and enrol him next term or mid-year if you need more time to process things.

Big hugs :hug:, this Mummy gig is tough sometimes!

:hug: At first I felt like that and didn't want Oskar to go either and now I enjoy his kindy days. He went 1 day a week last year and this year is going 2 days. I enjoy it because boys are so full on and just go go go and it gives me some recharge time. Also, it's wonderful for him.... the things he gets to do :) Sure he can paint at home, but they do more than that. Where he goes, they also do French and go on trips to the library (which is only next door lol), they have an awesome playground area and wonderful teachers who have so much time to give to the kids but also the parents. Oskar still cries now (which yeah I hate) but he's done in less than 5 mins... his issue is he thinks I take too long to come back... usually it's about 6 hours, so not that long really. It's just the initial mummy is going and he always has such fantastic days there. It's good for his independence and playing with other kids and interacting with all different personalities.

However, do not feel pressured because everyone else is doing it. You can actually visit a centre and even leave them to play an hour or so to see how they seem to like it.

:hug: Boomba

In our case I had to put Cam in to childcare for 2 days a week from when he was about 10.5months - and it was really hard to leave him there at first. But in time I saw how much fun he had (especially from when I'd go to pick him up....he wouldn't want to leave). When I went on maternity leave for Josh I considered taking him out - but once again thought he was having so much fun with his little friends (plus I knew he'd have to go back to when I returned to work a year later - so didn't want to have to start all over again with the separation - it was challenging enough after the 4 weeks off that he had). Then this year I was going to change so that he (and Josh) only went 1 of the 3 days I work (my mum to look after them the other days) - but the week before it was to change I realised how much he'd miss his little friends - the morning we got there Cam went over to comfort one of his little friends and my heart just melted. Even when we get in the car to go to 'school' - he always says...' "we going to see 'insert names x 2 or 3". He does get a little upset at drop off sometimes still though (only started mid last year and its only half the time)- and usually has to be cuddled - but they've all said he settles by the time I'm at the front door) - yet on the flip side - at pick up I still struggle to get him to stop playing and come home :rolleyes::lol: (I've even had to bribe him with a little treat for when he gets home :rolleyes:)

And its for these reasons that makes me realise I've done the right thing for his needs (in our case) by having him continue childcare while I wasn't working and not changing the days down to 1.

We too didn't have a mothers group - we did for the first year - but was hard after that as most went back to work and there was not a day that everyone could do - so it fizzled out. So childcare gives him/them (still waiting for a position for Josh in the nursery) the social and educational needs I can't provide (plus the care I also need of course).

Can you start with just 1 or 2 days and see how it goes? And then build to 4 or 5 later in the year (so that it might make it that little bit easier to transition to school next year:dunno:).

As for carers - hopefully you'll find somewhere that just feels right. Thats how I felt (and still feel) about ours - the carers are nice - always happy to cuddle Cam when I have to leave (I try to stay as long as possible until he is happily playing or that his friends have arrived) and we've never had any issues with them. Most of them are parents themselves too which helped me too.

I do know of 1 up your way (its in Waterford) which my best friend works at - and I have met some of their staff (including the director) a couple of years ago and found they are nice and seemed experienced (the ones I've met have children)...I can PM you if you'd like the details.

If you do decide to continue in finding a childcare/kindy for Moo I hope you can find something that suits you all and then in time you'll get to see how much fun and the new friendships he forms whilst there - like what I see and its that which will make it seem all the more worthwhile. And if it doesn't all work out...nothing is stopping you from taking him out...but at least you know then if he (and you) were ready.

Once again :hug:

Thankyou all so much!

We went and looked at one place which has 2 centers in it and the 2nd was better Moo did not want to leave...threw the BIGGEST tantrum.

I will have a look at few more this week. And then make a decision.

Bec can you PM the place please :)

so emotional about it all...I wish I was smart enough to home school so I could have them with me :(

Good on you for having a look around today :hug:. You could always set yourself a goal and "trial" M for a couple of sessions before deciding to definitely send him. I reckon it will help make your mind up either way. If he's having a wonderful time, then you'll know :). I found the first one or two times a bit sad when dropping J and K off, but after that I just enjoy the one on one time I get with DD. It's so quiet!

And btw, you are one VERY smart woman :D

We're in the same boat here. Its taken weeks to even get the courage to do the ring around, and even then DH had to do it cause I just didn't have the courage to do it!

We went today as well. We actually went to a preschool where DD1's friend goes. And we went today because today is one that girl's preschool days. When we turned up we did the usual chat with director, then once we went outside, and DD1 found her friend. It felt so right. We really felt comfortable with the centre, they all seemed nice, all of the kids were calmly playing, and it felt like one big family. It was nice.

I still don't want to send her, but I am feeling so confident that she has a friend there already, and DD1 will go on one of her friend's preschool days. I feel good about this, I know she has a familiar face there, who will look after her. And after today I know she will!

DD1 cried today too when we left, she wasnt ready to go.

Boomba, I know exactly where you are at. Im glad you found a nice place today too! :) Have you thought about taking him to a centre where maybe one of his friends already goes. I know that made my nerves settle lots!
:hug: :hug:
You know where to find me if you want to chat! :D

how old is he ?
C&K kindergarten takes kids from 3.5 for 5 day fornights 9 - 2. 30 nix goes as a pre prepper . and gabbi will be going from 3.5 so she will have 2 years there , its a "school" not a day care , they are partially funded by the goverment and are just wonderful ... !!

Am heading to C and K tomorrow with enrollment form but we will be number 6 on the wait list so he would not be getting in yet.

Beans so glad you found somewhere nice! I do have a friend who has just sent her twins but would hate to encroach on their time iykwim.

We will keep looking until it feels right...I hate procrastinating but this time we will :)