Rudeness at wedding

ok, so I was at a wedding on the weenend, which had one of those "lolly bar" things ... for reasons unknown to me, the lolly bar was unveilled around the same time that entres were served, and people went up in dribs and drabs to fill a little bag full of lollies.

strange, but not a big deal.

after people finished their entres, *lots* of people went up to get bags of lollies. some people put together 2, 3, or even 4 :redface: I thought that was pretty poor.

then it came time for the speeches, and the MC went up to the microphone, and asked 5 or 6 times (seriously) for people to sit down, and the people at the lolly bar (including people in the queue) just didn't.

the MC and a couple of guys went over to the lolly bar, and asked people to sit down, "hi there, we're about to start speeches, can you please come and sit down?" no response - they completely ignored her.

the bride went up to the microphone, and SHE asked people to sit down. they didn't.

the MC seemed really embarrassed (not sure why - she wasn't the one behaving disgracefully!!) and went up to the people at the lolly bar again: "[Bride and Groom] are litterally waiting for you to sit down - can you please all come and sit down? Everybody is waiting for you guys."

a couple of the people turned around at this point, and said, "oh, we didn't hear you. we'll come in a minute, we won't be long." :o

the MC says, "there's 25 kilos of lollies - they will be here when the speeches are over. Please come and sit down now, [Bride and Groom] are standing by the microphone right now waiting for you."

one of the people in the queue for the lollies says, "but we'll lose our places in the line!"

I couldn't believe it!! the people at the lolly bar didn't sit down, they just kept filling up bags including the Groom's two sisters!!!

I was mortified.

Then, two out of the 8-10 tables of guests chatted at normal volume the entire way through speeches.

I've never seen anything like it. Please tell me this isn't normal!

They all seemed like normal people - some white collar, some blue, some from the country, some from soccer, some from uni ... just a normal collection of people ... what was wrong with them?!?

WOw, that really isn't normal!!!

I would find that completely rude and if I was the bride I would have marched up there and pulled the cover back over the table and told people to sit down.

Where'd they think they were? At the Pizza Hut Buffet queue?????
WowEe

That is really interesting behaviour. And totally not ok or normal or anywhere close to polite!

I reckon that the sight of the lollies made people regress back to childhood so they acted like it!

Also, people seem hardwired to want to keep their place in line, any line, and make sure they get their "share". In groups this can be really strong. No one sat down so no one sat down IYKWIM? They were all sharing the responsibility to be polite and appropriate. Because there was a lot of them, that responsibility got diffused or watered down. If there had only been two or three people waiting to get lollies, they would have sat down a lot sooner because a greater share of the responsibility would have fallen on each of their shoulders. One way around that type of situation would be to name each of the people in turn - it reminds them that they all have an individual responsibility to behave appropriately. People think they're anonymous once they're in a large group.

:o what horribly rude behaviour! Definitely not normal

never heard of a lolly bar at a wedding before either

I had a lolly bar. It was the favours, everyone could fill up a little bag full of lollies instead of getting the traditional sugared almonds etc...
BEST idea ever!!!

Definitely not normal behavior, extremely rude!!!

That is disgusting - and definitely not normal. Personally I would've had no qualms about asking the staff to remove access (cover it, remove the table etc) until the speeches were finished.

Although I do think the wedding coordinator at the venue we chose for our wedding was a gem - she was a great advocate of captive audiences, so the speeches and so on were done directly after dinner, before dessert and then straight into the party.

Very very strange. If that was my wedding I would have been so so offended.

did alcohol play a part? i know it often increases inappropriate behaviour.

i agree with a PP that people get really funny about being in lines for food, it's like they regress to yr 8 camp or something and think they're going to miss out on dessert.

Wow - I'm really surprised at that too! Usually people would be on their best behavior in a situation like that. Especially the family of the couple.
I hope that didn't ruin their special day!!

Thats SO rude! I mean there's always that one rude person at a wedding but I've never heard anything like that before!

If I was the bride I would've gone up there and beaten them all with a stick until they sat down, and then cut everybody off from the lolly bar for the rest of the night - if they want to behave like children, then they can be treated like children!

I can't believe it was the grooms family too! Were they his older maybe single sisters? It could have been a bit of bitterness on their part. My SIL is notoriously selfish and she wore white to our wedding, and at the time I was too busy to really care, but now it just makes me mad because she is already 10x thinner than me, 10x taller than me, 10,000x prettier than me and then she had to go and ruin all my wedding photo's by wearing white too. Since then everybody has commented on how rude it was.

What's also strange is that the lolly bar was open so early - I've been to a few weddings with them now, and none of them have revealed the lolly bar until dessert was served and/or the party had started.

wow how rude.. i have never ever been to a wedding when guests have behaved like that.. Maybe they can't handle their sugar (lol)

glad I'm not the only one who thought this was unbelievably rude ...

to answer a few questions:-

1) they weren't drunk

2) the queue phenomenon makes sense ...

3) older but happily married sisters, in their 30s!

4) the bride did go ask them to sit down, and they didn't.

5) the bride and groom were both horrified, but it didn't ruin their day ... the MC looked really embarrassed, but I don't think anyone could think it was in any way her fault.

6) I will never, ever be recommending a lolly bar to anyone!

hmmmmmmm ...

That is out of control! I can't believe people actually behaved like that and thought it was ok!

At my first wedding, my brand new sister in law told me to F*** Off very loudly and in front of my entire table of immediate inlaws!
Why? Because the spotlight wasn't on her so she started crying and I asked if there was anything I could do....
This coming from very upper class people!!

I think weddings bring out the worst in people. There was a down and out biatch fight over the bouquet toss at one wedding I went to.
People have become so selfish and self centered.

WOW thats so wrong, how can people be so rude :rolleyes: this is something the bride and groom will remember for they rest of their lives, aargh people annoy me. Congrats on their wedding though I hape the are happy forever :)

That is ridiculous. I'm sure the lolly bar is partly to blame, but... I have seen poor behaviour a lot at weddings where the guest list is formed based on obligations rather than relationships. Like people talking through speeches and other disrespectful actions seem to grow out of a lack of respect for the couple, which seems to happen when people are invited (or attend) because someone felt "they had to" rather than because they really wanted to share the occasion.