How to get a 17 month old to eat her dinner?

Hi,

As the title suggests, I am having LOTS of trouble getting my DD to eat her dinner!
I have tried not giving her any food a couple of hours before so she will be more hungry - hasn't worked. I have tried many different recipes - hasn't worked.

It is just soooo stressful at dinner because most of the time she won't even taste what I have give her and if she does she pulls a face and spits it out and then holds her plate for me to take away or throws it on the floor if I'm not quick enough to get the bowl off her.

The only thing I know she will eat at dinner is pasta - and I know its not good for her to have this every night. If I put veges or any meat in it she will just pick the pasta out.

Any advice??? Reassurance this is normal for her age?

Totally normal. Or at least the same as us and many of my MG kiddles. I found that DD was just too tired and grumpy to eat a decent meal for dinner at this age, so I just swapped dinner and lunch. Gave her a good solid meal at lunch and then just fruit, toast, yoghurt etc. for dinner. Figured this was actually better for her energy needs anyway.

By about 20 months we went back to 'normal' as her appetite in the evening improved, but it's still a bit hit-and-miss depending on her mood etc. I just remind her that it's "that or fruit" (and sometimes that means she will elect to have an apple for dinner), and then if she's stuffing around, it often works to 'look busy'. I just do some dishes or get absorbed in a conversation with DH and if she feels that no-one is making her eat, she'll just start of her own accord!

Good luck - this too shall pass!

Yep, my little guy is much the same and has been for a couple of months. It's frustrating but I try not to make an issue of it which sometimes works. I try to give him things that I know he loves and it still ends up on the floor! He has gone from eating more than I do to seemingly living on air, I think he's simply too busy to eat :lol:

We've been through this a few times. The first time, she came good after a few days. The most recent though, we really struggled for a while. In the end, we started to give her the things we knew she loved. Chicken nuggets, pasta, fish fingers. We got her back into the habit of eating dinner. Now she does eat something on her plate each night, sometimes not a lot, but she does eat.

I'd go with what Santosha suggested, and give her a bigger meal at lunch and don't worry too much about dinner. What time is she having her dinner? I found at this age, that DD ate better if she ate at 5pm, so rather than cook early to suit her, I would just save her a portion from our dinner for the next night itms. Try not to stress too much, as this will affect your LO. We always used to offer DD a yoghurt or fruit regardless of how much dinner she had eaten - I found that because we did it everynight and not as a special treat or bribe, she didn't hold out and not eat any dinner just to get it, as it was just part of the meal iykwim. Dietitians will take a week's view of their eating, not a single meal, so as long as you other meals and snacks are good, then it doesn't matter too much if she doesn't eat much at dinner. And remember, no child in the western world has starved between 5pm and 6am!

For what its worth, DD is 2.9 years and we still have nights where she doesn't eat a thing, or will pick out just the pasta, or on occasion just has chips at the pub, but I know that at other times I can give her strips of capsicum and she will pretty much eat a whole one! so we just go with the flow :)

We have trouble with my ds2 (17 months as well) to get him to eat anything really. He goes through stages, at the moment he is cutting eye teeth and is barely eating anything except for fruit. I just keep offering and every now and then he surprises me. Last night he ate a whole plate of corn meat, peas and carrots. I don't stress about it too much. He'll eat when he's hungry, he's certainly not suffering. I just make sure his other meals are balanced and we get by with that.

A child and family psychologist told me once there is a division of responsibility with food... It is our responsibility to provide healthy, nutritious meals at standard, suitable times. It is the child's responsibity to eat it.

If they don't, they don't. They won't starve and unless they have some sort of malabsorption or other actual dietary issue, they will not suffer if they choose not to eat a meal.

Once she told me this, i relaxed a lot about meal times. I will cook healthy, nutritional food - whether she eats it is up to her. I will not cook her any thing special, I will not give her anything else after dinner. Dinner is dinner, that is it.

I've also stopped letting her dictate her meals and snacks - I still give her choices, so she has control, but I say "what would you like on your toast this morning?" So she can choose a topping. For morning tea, when she tells me she is hungry, I say "ok, would you like a pear, or some biccies and cheese?" again so she can choose.

I was getting frustrated with her saying "I want I want I want!"

And she is learning now. :D

Good luck!

One trick that we used to use when DS was a bit fussy (he isn't normally a fussy kid). We used to sit a favourite teddy at the table and it would be one spoon for teddy, one for DS. For some reason that always used to make him eat. I think it is because he then feels a little bit of responsibility in them eating as well, or the competition factor. Always worked though and worth a try as if it doesn't work then you haven't really pushed the issue either to cause them to back track.

my ds is a toad for eating his lunch... more to the point eating it in his high chair (he's fine for breakfast and dinner).

So i make us both a sandwich and have it up on the bench. I call out to him that i've got some lunch for him, he comes round, takes a bite and keeps playing. once he's finished that mouthful i'll call again or he'll just come back, another mouthful etc. i'll wash up or prep dinner or whatever

it takes a bit of time but cuts the stress and we're both happy.

We also find that even if he refuses his dinner he ALWAYS wants what we are eating. So when he cracks up at dinner, that's it. Over. take him out of his high chair and get on with our evening. If one of us eats something either our dinner or a snack and he asks for some, we just give it to him without too much fuss. (mostly tho we eat after he's in bed as 5pm is waayyy to early for us lol)

Not sure if any of that will be helpful at all. but like the PP said, they won't starve and they will learn pretty quick smart "this is my dinner, if i don't eat that's it til breakfast''.

Ocean Princess (my friend!) i like your approach heaps! It took us awhile to get tough with DS... mainly cos i felt like i 'had to' make him eat, i'd feel guilty if he didn't etc. but you said it so well.

:)

My 20mth old DD has always been a fussy eater. I found that having dinner together helps. She doesn't want to sit on high chair anymore, so we all sit around her kiddie table and eat together (DH actually sits on the floor since the chairs are to small for him). She watches us eating first and then will start imitating. We try not to focus on her and have a 'dinner conversation' instead, and she'll actually eat! Most of the time she'll pick whatever she likes and leave the rest of the meal untouched, but we don't make a big fuss of it and when she says 'finish' we let her go. When she doesn't want to eat anything on her plate her only option is fruit.

Limiting her option and amount of snack also works. I used to let her have cheese crackers or cookies for afternoon tea and she'd keep asking for more. I thought she was that hungry, but then she wouldn't touch dinner. Now I limit her snacks and give more fruits/vegies than carbs/sugar so she'll still have enough space in her tummy for dinner.

It's still not easy and DD still has "off day" every now and then, but trying not to stressed out too much does help :)