Scared of failing -AGAIN

I've not had a good success rate with breastfeeding my kids.

And I'm scared that I will fail again, because I know how easy it is to bottle feed them. No worries about pain, if they are getting enough etc. I'm scared that I will be weak and go straight for what I know, instead of being stubborn and not giving up. Which seems crazy, I never gave up on my want for a vbac and I eventually got that.

Anyhow I'm not sure why I'm posting. For support maybe? For ideas to make it easier?

All my kids had attachment issues, in particular DD2 and that was the reason I switched to fully formula fed by 1 month. She never latched properly (even with shields) therefore never drained my breast and my milk disappeared. When she was first born, she fed for 2 hours non-stop and my nipples cracked straight away.

I've got nipple shields in my bag to use straight up - just incase this one wants the same amount of feeds.

I hate the fact that something that is supposed to be natural seems to be so hard for me and my kids to co-ordinate and get right.

Anyway any help/support/suggestions would be great cos I probably won't go into labour with this stuff on my mind!!

Hi,
It is normal to feel aprehensive about breastfeeding when you have had such difficult experiences previously. As in all things, knowledge is power. Your best insurance for a successful breastfeeding experience is to understand how the system works - knowledge is power. Join the Australian Breastfeeding Association and go to one of their classes - it will make a huge difference.

Just wanted to give you :hug:!!!

I think the best thing is to just not have any expectations or stress yourself out with it. Every baby is different, you might not even come across the same problems, or you might. And if you do, you know what you have tried, what worked and what maybe didnt work. And you know that you can try!! I say give it a go again, because you do want to. Fingers crossed this bub latches beautifully, doesnt hurt you and you have a beautiful breast feeding experience.

And if it doesnt go smoothly, dont feel bad if you do go with what you know works either!! A happy mummy and happy bubba is really the most important thing, and if you get that from a bottle, than thats how it works!! :hug:

Can you arrange to have a LC ready and waiting to be there right away?? Those two hours of DD sucking (if she was atatched wrong) would have caused your boobies ALOT of pain which would have made it harder for you to keep going. Both my bubs had trouble attaching for the first few weeks, DS hurt like hell coz i didnt know, with DD i recognised the signs right away, and i still got some cracking and pain but not nearly as much because i was onto things earlier and took steps to help her and just kept taking her off until she was attached. So you might find the same this time, you have had some experience now so you know what too look for and how to stop her hurting you!

Incidently, i had trouble with my milk around the 4 month mark and now DD is FF, i tried to boost supply etc but she was loosing weight and was not happy jan, so in the end i did something i had never thought i would do, but it turned out to be what she needed. :hug:

Good luck!! I hope it all goes great for you!!!!

My advice is to not buy any, I mean ant bottles. Do not have any formula on hand and if you have any sterilser etc from your other kids get rid of them.

I'm the same as you, ds1 was fully bottlefed by 8 weeks. Ds2 I was determined to breastfeed but I bought bottles just in case. By 3 months he was completely bottlefed.

So with dd I have taken all that temptation away. I won't even consider expressed bm because once I offer a bottle my kids prefer them straight away. We are 4.5 weeks now and she has had nothing but a boob in her mouth. I won't lie to you its not been an easy start. I've had cracked nipples, thrush, the flu, she has terrible attachment, bouts of breast refusal, I have engorgement and what I am pretty sure is nipple vasospasm. But because I have to go out and physically buy everything for bottlefeeding I keep telling myself just one more feed, and the feeds keep ticking by. I'm off to see a lactation consultant next week to work on some of our issues but I figure the very worst is behind us. She's now 1.5kg heavier than when she was born and it makes me so proud to know that's all me. If I can do it so can you.

Couldn't read without giving you a big squishy hug :hug:
Im not even Utd yet and I'm already worried about failing again and I feel guilty for just giving up and not trying harder
Ds never attached properly he was shocking. He would use the shield ok but I started drying up so it felt like he was on the boob forever because he wasn't getting enough at each feed and it was doing my head in. Im coming to terms with it and I no even though I didn't feed him for as long as I wanted to he got an awesome 10 weeks start and that's all I could offer so so be it. He's been fully ff since and hes a chubby, healthy, happy, extremely content 5 month old.

Your baby doesn't care how she gets fed as long as she has a full tum then who cares
Stay positive and I hope this is 4th time lucky for you xx

Mel, I watched you educate yourself before your DD2 was born, you really were so well prepared. I watched you try, try, try, ask for help, try something else, reassess, try again, and keep on trying after she was born. I honestly don’t think there was anything more you could have done, before or after. The same thing might happen again, but it might not, it might be an absolute breeze and you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about. But you just won’t know until you get there. :hug:

So FWIW, the two things that helped me more than anything else were:
1. Making sure I got as much nipple in that tiny little mouth as I possibly could no matter what (and a LC would be horrified, but sometimes I even just shoved more in on the side with my finger while they were sucking).
2. When in doubt, get boobie out.

And remember, we’re all here for you to help you through whatever is to come. :hug: