So scared of my next one.

I know this might seem silly but DP and I have been talking about names for our next baby.
DD is only 14 weeks but we want to have them close together.
An OB told me I can't begin trying til after Christmas, anyway.

But it just keeps playing on my mind so much.

What if something goes wrong again? I have mini-breakdowns about it and just start crying.

With DD she had Gastroschisis (bowels on the outside) IUGR, very low fluid, my placenta was hopeless, I expressed for her for 6 weeks and breastfed for all of a week before she my milk dried up.
My body is one big stretch mark, even tho I'm only a size 10. I have stretch marks all around my boobs, a few on my belly, my hips, my bum, my thighs, even all the way down my calves to my ankles.
I didn't even gain that much weight! Just over 10kg. And I lost that nearly straight away.

I'm don't know if its just me worrying or what.
But I have a 1 in 50 (yes, 50) chance of the next bub having Gastroschisis.
And I dont really want to have another C/S. I'm fine with the fact that I might need one, but I really want a VBAC. Because after the next bub, if its a boy, there won't be anymore.

I'm terrified.

Oh man, huge hugs :hug:. I can't even begin to imagine what you must have gone through and are going through :hug:. It's very normal that you are feeling terrified, you have lots to consider, think about and deal with.

I don't have any answers for you, I haven't been where you are. All I can say is that time is a great healer - it gives you time to process the things you have been through, it gives you time to make peace with some things, it gives you time to come to a place where you are happy to go again. Please don't put any pressure on yourself about having another baby right now, just look after you and work through all your thought processes.

I have a 3 year age gap between my first two. I had a traumatic experience the first time (nothing compared to yours!) and it personally took me over two years before I was in the right head-space to have another bub.

Big hugs :hug:.

Oh charlotte, what a huge ordeal you have been through, only to find out that it may happen again when you have #2!

It sounds like mentally you are starting to prepare for the journey towards #2, that's great. As far as the stretch marks and weight gain goes, bah, we've all had it to some extent. :hug: I'm sure DP still thinks you're gorgeous and sexy ;)

As for the rest of it, well, I'm not too sure what you can do about all the complications, if anything. Might just be a case of having to deal with it at the time... but preparing yourself for it now. When I see a 1 in 50 chance of gastroschisis again, I think well that's a 49 in 50 chance that it won't!

Sorry... I don't know if I have helped at all... but massive hugs to you :hug:

:hug: it sounds like you've had a fairly traumatic experience this time round hun with bub. I think you need to give yourself a break before you start stressing about the next one already. Absolutley great if you want them close together but if you can't try untill after Xmas give yourself that time to heal & strengthen mentally & emotionally before you start worrying about what might or might not be. I know easier said than done.

:hug: hope you get some great support on here.