For those mummas who have a little one with a medical condition do you treat that child different to your others? On purpose? Subconciously?
I treat all my babies much the same..but sometimes I do think my heart aches for our littliest man a little more than the others. Like when he's sick for example, it hurts so much :( but still I love all of them the same of course. Wonder if that's normal?
How do you feel?
For sure, in fact a kind chiropractor pointed out to me once that I favour my littlest boy. She actually said to me bluntly "he didn't die, he's not really sick any more, and you are going to upset your other children". I try not to favour him, but he's so cuddly and I keep picturing him lying with all the tubes and wires in him. I can't help it but I really do try to treat them all the same.
Yes I think I do.
My two tiniest prems (miss 2 -28 weeker and master 1 - 25 weeker) I am more protective of.
My 28 weeker dd has been in and out of hospital with respiratory problems (a cold puts her in hospital...but it has been better as she has gotten older) and my 25 weeker still being so tiny and having CLD I am more aware of germs and I do avoid places where they can get sick.
With my more robust babes I was not over protective at all.
I think almost losing master 1 has made me a little more aware how lucky we are to have him and I probably treat him a little different...but he is also my baby :D
I love all my kids and I really try to be fair and equal with all of them.
Opps double post :p
I have had two premmies and all three in the scn, Ds was the biggest and full term but he was the sickest, he had a low grade fever and was unwell. Dd1 was 34 weeks and a fighter.
To me because they have all had a harder start in life they are all precious.
Umm, that's hard to answer..
My ds1 was pretty sick when he was born and developed pneumonia while in my womb.. What the? I know, but with isaiah in side as well apparently ds was at high risk of developing alot more then that or even dying himself.
He was really I'll for maybe 5 months but he ha always been my mums baby and the apple of her eye.
Ds2 was Born his lungs and asoficus (sp?) collapsed and his blood was too thick and was clotting. So he was also in the scn for 3 months and still has problems with his lungs till now.. He literally lives on steroids and other meds to make sure he doesn't just clam up.
My ds3 was born perfect except for ADHD which isn't life threatening but he is his dads side kick in everyway possible..
And dd is my princess but out of all my kids ds 2 is my baby and I am extremely protective of him, even though is as solid as a brick wall lol..
I love all my kids even and not one gets something the rest can't have but my heart is trapped with my middle boy.. I can't help it..
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Slightly of topic but my ds4 was born at 36 weeks with in-uterine pneumonia also...it is not very often I hear of others going through the same thing. He was a sick bub for awhile...but came good and is now a robust...albeit skinny...8 year old :D:
Oh wow!! I know what you mean apparently it's very uncommon you would hear about it, I was only 16 back then but I was puzzled and it's always stuck in my mind and people never understood they kept saying " you must have it wrong"..
Yeah my son was extremely Ill also nearly lost him a few times, extremely scary stuff.. I was so scared he would just go I used to sleep for 2 hrs and then sit up all night to make sure nothing would happen. Now his 10 in 4 days and you would never of guessed it at all..
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That's a very difficult question to answer. I love both my boys equally and unconditionally (of course) however they both have very different needs. DS1 needs me to help him regulate his senses just to be able to function anywhere close to normal, he also needs me to help him make sense of the world around him in everyday life. So yeah I probably spend more time with him than I do with DS2. But DS2 is very cuddly and will sit with me on the lounge and snuggle, where as DS1 won't. DS2 is quite happy to go with the flow and will let DS1 have what he wants (most of the time LOL) he's the easiest one of the two to get ready to go out, to feed, to do everything with. However he does have his own issues which require attention too. I spend one-on-one with DS2 3 half days a week while DS2 is in Kindy, so in my mind that makes up for the less attention throughout the rest of the week as DS1 doesn't get any one-on-one (well very rarely anyway).
I am protective over both of them for different reasons, DS2 has immature lungs and is on ventolin etc so I'm very protective when it comes to sicknesses etc. I am protective over DS1 mostly because he is so misunderstood.
I love all my kids equally, but if I am being honest I am always a little more concerned about Nate. He is always the sickly one, the one with asthma, the one who always gets middle eard infections and UTI's, the one who get iron deficency and bruises as soon as you look at him. He is the skinngy fragile one, while the other two are bug robust kids. He is also the one who wants to cuddle and sit with you (the other two, aren't really interested). I don't think my 'favouritism' extends beyond genuine concern though, if that makes sense. So if all three were to run and fall over an hurt themselves, I would comfort all three, but Nate would be the only one I would have serious concerns about doing himself some serious damage - because history has shown that he IS the one who is most likely to do himself the most damage. He is the one who always ends up in hospital. Whereas the other two have a cry and a cuddle and shake it off like nothing has happened, no lasting physical effects. With them I don't have the fear, because they are always 'alright'; with Nate the fear that he will do himself some real damage is always there, so I guess that because the conquences can be and often are so much worse, that I am a bit more 'pre-emptive' of every little sniffle, cough or fall he takes.
In Nate's case though, I guess because the dangers really are there at present, that it is slightly different to if he had suffered something and were now fine??? Or maybe I'm just justifying, because for all intents and purposes he is (most of the time) a healthy kid - but the threat of a bad asthma attack, or an serious injury due to his recurrant nutritional defficencies or a serious infection is a mch bigger risk with him, then with the other two.
Ds2 Isaac gets migraines and we tend to wrap him in cotton wool a little more then the others. Of course the other kids get special treatment as well but I have noticed when Isaac is upset or sick we do behave differently