lunch money and stealing.. {advice}

My ds1 is in prep this year, along with all the wonders of big school he has also discoverd the canteen...
now i never sat him down and explained about the canteen, he came home one day, telling me this girl gave him money and told him to buy something from the canteen, and told me what he had bought.
now the girl came up to me one day, started talking to me, asked me if i was seths mum, the proceded to ask me if we realy lived in the woods and ate nothing but bark and bugs:o! apparently he told her little sister this very story, and she had been giving him money to try 'real food'
i have since explained to him that it wasnt on telling people stories like this, and he could get in alot of trouble for it.
i have given him money every now and then to buy his own play snacks and he then tells me what he bought and then that he gave the change away:o one day i had given him $2.20 he bought a orange and gave the $2 to some girl in line:o yesterday i gave him $5 as i didnt have change and forgot to pack his recess (he had his lunch in his bag) i also told him to hold onto his change and he could use it today, well he bought 3 bits of fruit, and gave almost $4 away!
i didnt give him money today, just told him he should not have given it away yesterday and would still have some... he had a sulk, but was ok by the time we got to school.
or so i thought, a mum came up to me and told me seth had just taken her sons dollar off him and refused to give it back! i could not belive it. He denied having it, pretended to empty his pockets, but didnt pull it out, i could see he was hiding something, so searched his pocket and sure enough, there was the dollar.. he yelled at me that it was his, and to give him money.

i gave the dollar to the other kids mum (didnt kno who her son was) and refused to give ds any money, he threw his hat on the ground and sulked off to his class.

now i thinmk its my fault that he took the money as i refused to give him more after giving away the change yesterday, i hope he hasnt taken someone elses money again...


how would you deal with this? what could i do to stop it next term? i cant afford to give him money every day wich is what he has been demanding.

oh goodness that is funny about the bark and bugs!!! where do kids come up with this stuff?? lol
not sure what to do about him taking other kids money, but he is also giving his away. so it kinda evens out. shows he is a sharing kid. sorry im not more helpful.

I would not be giving him any more money until you have confirmation from the teacher that he has not been taking other people's money through telling stories or theft (for example tell him you will ask her to keep an extra eye on him for a week and see if his behaviour improves). Once you start giving him money again, could you give him exact money in a paper bag with his order written on it so he doesn't get change? My oldest is in grade 1 and I would not trust him with change any more as he always 'loses' it, it's very common for money to be treated like this in prep.

I Wouldnt be giving him money for a while and I would be bringing the issue up with his teacher so that they are aware of it and it may prompt a classroom talk on it.

Unfort it seems like he doesnt have the understanding of it.

As a canteen lady though I do see kids all the time giving money away and we do try to put a stop to it if we see it.

i know this isnt helpful but I just love the bark and bugs story!!!
he is quite young to 'budget'. maybe set a day a week that is canteen day only - and give him some money then.

It sounds to me he doesn't understand what money means. My nephew was like that - for him it was shiny coins and buying things was a great game. But they don't understand it's a finite resource and it's not a toy.

If he's giving money away, he may think it's logical to take money off someone when he doesn't have any. I wonder if you need to stop giving him money until he understands the process more. Or maybe need to sit down and explain how money works. I'm not sure if they understand at that age. Maybe talk to his teacher about when kids learn about money or how other kids that age handle money.

I dont think you should give him something just because he asks for it or sulk if he doesn't get it. That doesnt teach him anything. Does he do this with toys etc?

it may be an opporunity to teach him about basic budgets. $x buys 'n' things. Once it runs out, it's gone. I wonder if you can make a game of it if you give him $1 a day and then see when he can handle $5 a week and not spend it all at once. there's a great board game called Cash Flow for Kids that teaches kids about money, but I think it's from age 6 and also, it's really expensive.

Right now, he's learning about consequences of actions. it will take time, but he'll get there.

I would be a doing a few things. First explaining to him which day is going to be canteen day (or you might decide on 2) and that is it. Let him know that on all other days that he will be taking lunch from home and that is ok, but he is not to ever take money from someone else. Maybe a consequence if he does it again is that he misses his official canteen day.

Next thing is explaining simply, the value of money and what he can buy. He wouldn't have any real concept of how much he has given away (in fact many kids think it's better to keep the BIG ones like 20c and give away a little one like a $2 - my DD is classic for this!) so maybe you could show him the value very simply and ask him what he would like to buy. I would be writing his order for lunch on the bag so you know for sure that he is going to have something substantial to eat and then work through some choices with him of what to buy with the change.

It is a really difficult one, and the novelty is really hard for littlies to grasp if they feel they are missing out. Telling stories, lying, and stealing are obviously all things that you need to deal with with him around why it isn't on and what the consequences will be if he keeps doing it. Might be worthwhile talking to his teacher too because there might be other kids who have had issues - I know we have had some at our school with preps who don't get it and end up in tears because of it!
:hug: Good luck - sounds like he has an ace imagination!! I had to giggle a wee bit at the bugs part. xoxox

I would make one day a week as the day he can buy something so he doesn't come to expect it every day. You can give him an agreed amount and then if he gives it away well then it is his choice and he needs to accept that it may mean he misses out. I don't necessarily think it is bad he gave money away but I just wouldn't top it up.

In all the days of canteen duty I've done over the years, I've never had a child ask for a piece of fruit so you must be doing something right. Jelly with fruit on top, yes - but never fruit by itself.

The one or two days a week thing is a good idea. Or maybe you could give him a dollar for a daily chore. It's a tough one.

We only have canteen one day a week. I give my boys exact change so they can't lose the change and so on.