4 tear old wettiing himself, Lazy?

Help please!!

My son is 4 next month. He has been properly toilet trained, he knows when he should go to the toilet and he knows how. He is also fully night toilet trained and has only ever wet the bed 3 times since being toilet trained. (which was about two years ago).

So he is wetting himself during the day, to me it seems out of laziness, as he doesn't even have to be distracted to not make it to the toilet. He will not tell me he has wet himself, I find out when I start to smell it. He has even had multiple rashes from sitting in wet undies, still this does not deter him from doing it.

I have tried everything from, being cool, calm and collected and talking to him about it. To strategies, like saying he has to wear a nappy again, getting angry, making him hand wash his own wet undies and pants.

Nothing seems to be working and I have just about had it, I can't seem to stop it from happening. He has no urine infection and is a perfectly happy healthy child.

I have even tried telling him that he starts big school next year and he can't be wetting himself at big school.

Please help me, I am stuck on what to do or try next.

Have you ruled out a urinary tract infection?

im sorry i have no advice, just wanted to tell you your not the only one, my son is 4 in june and still pees on puropse, usualy when he is sitting on his bed, he also wont tell me he has done it, his brother tells me. im hoping he grows out of it and soon as like you, nothing has worked!

Hi no, he doesn't have a urine infection :)

Thanks Sarah 87 just reading your post was nice. Good to know I am not the only one who is struggling with this. Also just spoke to a friend of mine who is dealing with the same thing. So that in itself was a weight off my back knowing I wasn't the only one :) x

Missy, it might be worth having a chat to your GP, as there are specially trained nurses called incontinence nurses, who help children who are having wetting issues. My DD went to see one when she was about 7 or 8, because she kept having tiny little oopsies. Helped enormously. There may be a number of reasons why your son's bladder is not behaving itself and it may have nothing to do with willful behaviour or laziness. Getting some help before he starts school could save an awful lot of shame and difficulty later on.

yeh i remember my son went through a stage where he would wet his pants constantly, even though he had already been toilet trained for a bit. i found i could kind of put it down to him playing too much, i would always find he would be too busy playing, and so wouldn't have time to go to the toilet, so to speak, and then just find it easier to go in his pants.....i would get so frustrated, i would find him wet, and i mean soaking, and he would just be happy to sit in it for half the day and not even tell me!! aaggghhh!!

it got really bad to the point where i literally would not have any dry undies or pants to put him in. i remember when i would take him to preschool, i would pack 3 pairs of spare clothes, and i can recall picking him up one day and his teacher saying she has changed him 3 times, and he's just gone again in the clothes he was in.....:wall:

after that, i think i just said to him one day, 'mate, i have no clothes for you. you've wet all of them, you're just going to have to go around without them' :dunno: i don't think it was long after that before he started to realise that he had to start remebering to go to the toilet.....hope your little boy figures it out soon too. from what i can recall of other parents, i think it's a stage.....hope it's a short stage for your boy too :lol:

My DS is 4.5 yrs and does the same. He will even dance around to try and prevent having to go to the toilet. For him its shear laziness or not wanting to stop what hes doing and take the time to go to the toilet. Several times a day i have to tell him to go to the toilet. I have no idea why he does it. I think its just an age thing.

can i just say i think this is also just a 'boy' thing to a point

my DS1 is 3 and he does the same thing and has been toilet trained for almost a year now he just doesnt like leaving what he is doing to go to the toilet but i also need to get him checked for a urine infection as sometimes he will try and hold on but he cant

Is he constipated at all? I was told recently by a paed that when kids get a little constipated they can wet their pants because there's a full bowel resting against their bladder in a small space and they just don't have as much room in there.
Apparently another slight possibility is worms. But they also cause itchy bum and sometimes tummy cramps.
Up until a couple of weeks ago Natty was occasionally wetting too. I'm inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt - I don't think it's laziness. Just as I doubt it's laziness with your little guy, if he's sitting in uncomfy pants to the point of getting a rash, I think he might be embarrassed by it in which case I'd call it an accident.
I reckon a chat to the GP could be worthwhile?
GL.

ETA: I think N has been constipated at times so that's the possibility I'm leaning towards in our case. I'm also going to worm her just in case because although I've seen no worms (I'm never that close to her bum TBH) and there're no other symptoms, it's cheap and easy to treat for JIC. So that's what we're doing about it. (Although as I say, it has now been several weeks so I'm crossing my fingers she's over it, whatever it was.)