Aurora Eve - my VBAC princess (really long)
So here is my story of my beautiful girls arrival, my desperately wanted and needed VBAC that helped me finally close the door on the guilt and failure feelings associated with my c/s and embrace both the births for what they were - a beautiful beginning to a very special person...
I had a very troubled pregnancy, both physically and emotionally - i had a small bleed at about 13 weeks and then a larger one at 33 weeks which had me admitted overnight and monitored, other than that i suffered with no morning sickness and aside from the usual aches and pains i felt great. Emotionally however i had a very stressful time, starting right from conception... One thing after another happened around me and i was having to deal with other peoples issues on a daily basis. I spent a lot of time in tears or stressed and wide a wake at night with worry... i was concerned of the impact on my baby yet felt powerless to change anything as it was all happening around me :shakehead:
As a result i was convinced that this baby was going to make an early entrance.
Thursday 24th March was my EDD, i really didn't want to have a baby on this day as it was my FIL birthday - it came and went with little event! I had all these days that i didnt want the baby to arrive on and in the end, i just stopped talking to it and let nature run its course.
Friday i went to bed in a foul mood, i had been stuffed around by DSS mum (again) and was generally pee'd off that i was always running around after everyone!
2am i woke up for my millionth wee and couldnt get back to sleep as DH was snoring.
I went into the lounge and watched some TV and read for a while I tossed and turned and eventually went to sleep again at about 4am, typically i needed to get back up again at 6am for another wee! When i went and lay back down i noticed that i had some crampy BH, but this was nothing new as i had been having them on and off for the last 2 weeks.
At 7am MJ woke up and came in for a cuddle and we both lay together on the couch - over the next hour i dozed on and off and by 8am i noticed that the BH were increasing and i actually couldnt lay through them any more...
I decided that this was it this time, i went and work DH and called my doula, 'Loulabelle' (Laura), we all figured that we had plenty of time as i was in labour for 18 hours with MJ before the c/s...
DH made me a cup of tea, we got MJ breakfast and i told her that the baby was knocking on the door (getting ready to come out). She was very excited and went and woke up DSS telling him that 'the baby is knocking on Mummy's door and its going to come out of her bottom soon!"
I figured that i should start packing my labour bag (left it so that i could occupy myself with something when labour started) and i called Mum to let her know - i didnt think that there was much reason for her to rush, the contractions were 2-4 minutes apart, but MJ's labour had been like that too.
DH hopped in the shower and DSS started to pack a bag as he would be going to Mums place too...
I decided that i wanted a bath, the contractions were quite painful and i thought that it would help. DH got out of the shower and ran the bath for me and i told him that he should call the hospital and let them know that i would be coming in at some point - as soon as they found out that i was trying for a VBAC i was told that i should come in soon. I told DH to call Mum back and ask her to leave now, JIC i needed to go to hospital soon... I stayed in the bath for about 20 minutes, getting out because my concerned 3 year old wouldnt leave me alone and kept giving me toys to play with in the bath!!
In between contractions i continued to pack my bag, which was becoming more and more difficult as they were getting closer and closer together. I was pacing round the house with each contraction, poor DSS and MJ didnt know what to do... MJ kept getting up to help me walk, she would hold my hand or puch me from behind as i was walking, it was really sweet of her and served as a lovely distraction!
I was actually getting worried at this point, i wanted to go to the hospital, part of me was saying NO WAY - you have hours of this and the other part was just wanting to get there. DH was fantastic, he was really encouraging and reminded me to breathe.
Mum arrive around 10am and she finished sorting DSS and Mj out, hen she would follow me with each contraction and massage my lower back - she said at one point 'Do you think that you have left this too long?' I had only been in labour for 3 hours, so to me that was a silly thing to say, i was going to be doing this for hours.
Not long after this i saw Laura pull up, i walked out of the house and said 'We need to go' and promptly had another contraction!
I said goodbye to MJ, Mum and DSS and we (DH) loaded the bags into the car.
I sat in the front seat facing backwards and hugging the seat (great suggestion Laura) - i am a massive stickler for seatbelts, but i didnt even think of it - the drive was only about 10 minutes if that, i dont remember much of it except for DH getting a work call and me having a very loud contraction as he was talking :D
DH pulled up at the hospital and Laura and I headed to the birthsuite while he parked the car. Before i got to the door of the hospital i had a massive contraction and someone came running up asking if i was OK (i felt like i was in a comical movie with this). In the front doors made it about 30 meters before i had another one and someone came rushing out of an office, asked if i was OK and called the labour ward. When we got out of the lifts there was a lady waiting with a wheelchair - there was not a hope in hell that i was going to sit in that, so she had to chase after me as i walked up the corridor!
I was shown to my room room 4 (my lucky number!) and i was told that i would need to be checked to see how far along i was - DH arrived at this point (that was quick, he must have run, last time he was about 15 minutes) Anyway i was hoping and praying for anything over 5cm when they checked me, i seem to remeber Laura in my ear saying, dont worry, you are really close... The internal was a bit painful and worse when i had a contraction, i just wanted to get up... when they finished i was told that there was just a tiny lip left and i was 8 or 9cm... :o i only got to 7 with MJ and that was after 12 hours and it had only been 4 hours since it all started!!!
They kept asking me if my waters had broken, it begain to irritated me, why wouldnt they listen when i said NO, im not a moron, i would notice this... (i didnt say that bit)
Anyway i got back up and i didnt want to move i just hugged the back of the bed. with each contraction Laura and DH were there squeezing my hands, talking to me, telling me i could do it.
The worse thing i remember was that right in front of my face was a clock, at one stage i thought that it was broken as it seemed to be stuck on the same time!
At one point DH asked to go out for a smoke NO i said, i was worried he would be gone for ages like last time, i didnt want him to miss anything - i saw his face, anxiety was creeping in - this is why we had a doula, i needed him, but he needed a break and i had to let him go - he was so quick, i reckon he much have run through all the corridors!
By the time he was back the pain was worse, Laura kept telling me i was really close, this was reassuring but how close was close i thought, can i have a time frame (i didnt say anthing) I didnt know how much longer i could do it, maybe this was all a mistake, i should have just had a c/s...
At one point they tried to get me monitored (they figured out i was 'the VBAC'), the belts made the pain worse with contractions and the poor midwife had to crouch at the side of the bed holding it in place - looking back this would have been exceptionally awkward for her.
A bit later on, someone in scrubs came in - 'Who are you' i said, she introduced herself as a Dr and said that she was putting in a drip... what the F*ck for i thought and i told her that i wasnt having one! Diplomatic Laura piped up and said that it was in my birth plan and my OB had agreed to it - so she left (YES score one to me!!!)
The rest is a bit blurry, i remember staring into DH's eyes with the contractions, he held my gaze and i just knew that he was totally there for me (so different from last time)
Sometimes i felt like i was loosing control and giving up - when i said something like that Laura was straight onto the homeopathic kit that i had and was giving me bits and pieces depending on what i was saying.
When the pushing sensation came i sort of went with it, but half heartedly, i was torn between breathing my baby out (hypnobirthing) and pushing my baby out So when i started to push it was not really effective. I also didnt think that the contractions would be as painful as they were - i dont know why, but i think i thought that when the pushing bit started the contraction pain decreased... Ummmm, NO!!!
At arount 11.20 my OB came in and he examined me, i was ready to go he said. In his beautiful way, he told me i needed to puch the baby out now or he would get the suction out. I tried, but i just wasnt doing it right, i couldnt hold the push long enough. I looked up at DH at one point and he had tears in his eyes, come on Sam you can do it, the baby is nearly here - WOW he was so supportive.:D
At this point i was on my back with my legs on Ravi and the midwife, this was not the position i wasnted to be in but i felt i had no choice - was pushing, but i was using my legs and pushing them away and i wasnt getting anywhere. It was at this point that the suction and stirrups came out... again, not what i had wanted, but really the only thing I wanted was not to have a c/s so if i needed this, so be it!!!
At one point i had a giggle, i looked around the room and counted the people, 7... i annouced that there were 7 people staring at my Vagina! :rofl:
Anyway, the suction went on and my OB told me that he was not pulling my baby out, all he was doing was stopping it from going back in, he was still going to make me push my baby out as this is what i wanted... (Yay OB)
It was like i had my own personal cheer squad, i had DH and Laura t my head, both in my ear staying the most supportive and encouraging things and squeezing my hands and then the others at the 'business end' all saying push, push, push, push push, c'mon, keep going :cheer:
Finally the babies head came out and the suction came off, my OB told me to look down, i couldnt and i became irritated, dont you see this great big belly in the way i thought, "feel" he said and i put my hands down around my baby and then had another contraction. Here instinct took over and i grabbed the wet and slimy baby and pulled her out and straight up onto me!!!!! :o
OMG i did it, i have my VBAC baby! It was 1143am, DH and i both looked and we had another girl (i was right again)
I rang Mum and my sister as i was being stitched up, i couldnt believe i could have her on me for so long, the cord wasnt clamped until it stopped pulsing, Laura cut the cord and i BF her within 30 minutes.
After she had finished i cleaned her up a bit and dressed her and gave DH a cuddle.
What a completely different experience, i felt so empowered, totally on top of the world and I HAD DONE IT!!!!!! :leap:
Weight: 4065grams
Length: 52.5cm
Head/c: 34.5cm
Total Labour/pushing time 4 hours and 43 minutes!
On a side note, to those that might be reading for VBAC inspiration, in our belly buddies group there were 4 of us that were attempting VBAC's - well all were successful and amazingly 3 of us did it all on the same day!!!
