Staying relaxed when you're post-dates is so hard sometimes...
So I have had 4 horrible pregnancies, 3 horrible births. This bub was not planned and I still haven't even gotten my head around the fact there is a baby in my belly. But I am trying my darndest to be as positive and relaxed as possible. Generally working...generally. I have had a really bad ominous feeling that something is going to go horribly wrong, but I haven't told anyone - I feel like I'm being stupid. I think because I had a PPH with my first two (both induced) and then #3 (my natural birth - yay!) nearly died at birth my subconscious is just assuming something is going to go wrong again. The fact, too, that we know she only has one kidney and they want to keep us in for a few days to run tests only adds anxiety (until we know the one she has is fine I think I will be holding my breath!) and I have had heart and hernia complications throughout this pregnancy and been on bed rest since 23 weeks to avoid an op, so I think I'm just strung out, now.
Thing is, I am a very laid back, non-stressed kinda gal, usually.
But now I am 40+4, the hospital has booked an induction for 5 days time, I have been losing my plug since Wednesday (ALOT of mucous - never had that before!) and getting full-on labour contractions....just not regularly :wall: I was 2cm dialated yesterday, cervix is really thin and short. But because nothing else is really happening I just feel like she'll never come out :shakehead: She seems perfectly happy - she's generally a quiet bub (compared to my 2 boys, anyway) and has been in a LOA position (sometimes switching to ROA) for weeks, so she's ready to go. Head just needs to come down.
I know half of what I said is just irrational babble...and I know if I was reading it from someone else I would just say 'it's all good, your fears are ok, it's all normal' etc etc. But I think I just needed to vent - sorry! :lol: