Staying relaxed when you're post-dates is so hard sometimes...

So I have had 4 horrible pregnancies, 3 horrible births. This bub was not planned and I still haven't even gotten my head around the fact there is a baby in my belly. But I am trying my darndest to be as positive and relaxed as possible. Generally working...generally. I have had a really bad ominous feeling that something is going to go horribly wrong, but I haven't told anyone - I feel like I'm being stupid. I think because I had a PPH with my first two (both induced) and then #3 (my natural birth - yay!) nearly died at birth my subconscious is just assuming something is going to go wrong again. The fact, too, that we know she only has one kidney and they want to keep us in for a few days to run tests only adds anxiety (until we know the one she has is fine I think I will be holding my breath!) and I have had heart and hernia complications throughout this pregnancy and been on bed rest since 23 weeks to avoid an op, so I think I'm just strung out, now.

Thing is, I am a very laid back, non-stressed kinda gal, usually.

But now I am 40+4, the hospital has booked an induction for 5 days time, I have been losing my plug since Wednesday (ALOT of mucous - never had that before!) and getting full-on labour contractions....just not regularly :wall: I was 2cm dialated yesterday, cervix is really thin and short. But because nothing else is really happening I just feel like she'll never come out :shakehead: She seems perfectly happy - she's generally a quiet bub (compared to my 2 boys, anyway) and has been in a LOA position (sometimes switching to ROA) for weeks, so she's ready to go. Head just needs to come down.

I know half of what I said is just irrational babble...and I know if I was reading it from someone else I would just say 'it's all good, your fears are ok, it's all normal' etc etc. But I think I just needed to vent - sorry! :lol:

Vent away, sounds like you have alot to get out. The fact that you have had some horrible experiences can make dealing with what is happening now hard. I hope your little princess makes her arrival soon for you and everything goes smoothly. You know you need to relax so I just try and focus on that deal with her tests when she is out and safe in your arms. My close friend was born with only 1 kidney and she has been fine so I hope your little girl is too.

Your kids have some great names, have you got a name picked for bubs?

Wishing you a gorgeous, energising birth on the day your bubba chooses. If you don't think you are ready on the date your hospital has chosen, you can always decide to wait longer.

good luck, looking forward to your BA

Thanks, ladies :) I am still going...still getting contractions, still losing bit of plug, still feeling over it. But still refusing to get induced just yet ;)

Kazzo - thanks :) We like our kids names, too...bit unusual. This little girl is Alina, though we haven't settled on a middle name for her yet :)

vent away!! better to let it all out, voice what you're feeling, rather than keep it all inside and war with yourself about it.

you poor thing, sounds like pregnancies haven't been that fun for you, im sorry to hear that. i think it's perfectly normal for you to be a little bit worried about everything, given what you've been through, and i know it's probably the most annoying saying, but do try not to stress too much. it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job, and just keep 'relaxing' as much as you can, as hard as that seems. thinking of you, and sending you lots of positive birthing vibes. Alina is a beautiful name.....Jaide goes with Alina, what about Alina Jaide :lol: (that's DD's middle name hehe)

How you going hun, has that little princess that is so comfy made her arrival yet? Alina is a very pretty name. I actually thought Jaide too (but spelt jade) like Mummy dreamer. Or even Joy since she may have some problems but all the joy she will bring you will outweigh the bad.