How to stop using bottles, gently?!

Sam turned two in December. He STILL has bottles and is really quite addicted (kind of) to them.

But when I couldn't breastfeed him, we set out to make sure he didn't miss out. Only myself or DH were allowed to feed him. And he was ALWAYS held and cuddled during a bottle. Very rare occasions had one of us hopping into the back seat to give him a bottle in the car (other person driving), so for Sam, a bottle is more than just a milk-delivery system. It's a source of comfort, it's hugs with mummy or daddy. He's still mainly cuddled on our laps when he has a bottle. We've had fits of hysterics that can only be calmed with a bottle.

But, he's two. He needs to stop having bottles. He needs to stop sucking on his dummy 24/7, and I'm slightly convinced that the bottles will be easier than the dummy, and may make getting rid of the dummy easier... but I don't want to do any of this in a way that will upset him. I don't want it to be stressful for any of us.

When it comes to water, Sam will drink from a sippy cup, through a straw, from a regular open cup, from a water bottle. But apparently milk MUST come in a bottle. We've offered it to him in all sorts of other ways, but he just shakes his head and says no. For various reasons, I don't want him stopping milk altogether just yet.

So how do we do this?

I've been looking around and I've seen a few different training cup "systems" where the cup starts out with a regular bottle teat then moves to a soft spout that's the same material as the teat, but a different shape. And then one goes to a straw and another goes to a sippy cup spout, but it still soft. Has anyone used one of these with any success?

He's also developed a bit of a thing for Thomas the Tank Engine. So I have wondered if a "special Thomas cup" might help, that he can have a special Thomas cup, but ONLY for milk. I'm just not sure if his Thomas thing is big enough to make him want to do that.

I know all children are different and what works for one may not work for another, but what have others done in this situation? I'm leaning towards the training cup system as it's more gradual rather than a sudden change, but I'm just not sure.

BW

I did not have troubles with DD1 when we stopped using bottles at 13months, I think she wanted to stop. So I have no experience.

But I was going to suggest the training cups, that way it is only a slow change at a time. Maybe if each new cup came with a small Thomas present he might start looking forward to changing cups.

My DD1 who is 2.5 was very similiar. She had EBM for the first 6mths then went onto formula. Due to our bf problems i fed her the bottles for the first 6mths and even after when the bf definitely wasn't going to work out, it was only rarely others fed her when it was necessary. DD LOVED her bottle and it was her only comfort thing. Anyway we substituted the bottles for a sippy cup on her second birthday. It has a hard top and is called SafeSippy. It is S/S and turns into a straw cup later. We approached the getting rid of bottles by saying that the bottle fairy was coming on her second birthday but she would have milk in a special cup. I must say though that my daughter has amazing language skills and coped with this approach well. 2 is an age where there is such a huge developmental range so not sure if this would work in all circumstances. I hid all the bottles on the night of her b'day and she got her sippy for her b'day and it went well considering her bottle addiction. We are just about to give her milk in a cup now though and do away with the sippy as we have found she is using it just like a bottle. DD has always had trouble self settling and wants milk through the night again lately which we don't give her but it's becoming difficult so she is getting a Toy Story ceramic cup for Easter and will have to drink it on the lounge before going to bed.
Maybe it would work to take your DS shopping and let him choose a sippy cup. I would say make the top a hard spout so it's not the same as a bottle otherwise there isn't much point. Does your DS self settle?

My DS is the same, he will only drink milk from a bottle. He has one first thing in the morning and last thing at night (but not in bed)
He drinks water fine from any sort of sippy/straw/regular cup, but MILK MUST BE IN A BOTTLE lol.
I dont really know how to fix it, and TBH I am not too concerned, we did try all sorts of other cups and he wouldnt have a bar of it.
I guess when he is 3 or 4 I will deal with it, as its only for 5 mins max twice a day, at the moment, he is too young to understand that he cant have the bottle (his language skills are a little on the slow side) I am hoping that when he is older we can explain it to him.
We sacked the dummy at 5 months, I would imagine at 2.5, you may have a battle on your hands. Is he old enough to understand the dummy fairy? If not, I would wait until he is, I think that is prob the gentlest way.
GL

hmm, good question ... I've been having similar thoughts about when to start petering off bottles with DS, as he *hates* sippy cups, but is too little to understand yet. We've had some success with a straw, but it comes and goes!

I think the Thomas cup only for milk is a great idea.

Does gentle parenting exclude other types of bargaining? Eg: we're going to read a story/play a game/have snuggly cuddles on the couch together ... after you've had your cup of milk ... ?

And can you have a cup of milk at the same time? Even better - daddy doing it, showing how big boys have their milk?

Those are things which I'd be thinking about, but I'm not sure whether they're outside of the scope of your parenting preferences :hug:

Good luck!

To me, doing it gently is any way that doesn't end up involving tears or tantrums!

He's not one to bargain with. Do this first and then you can do XXX just simply does NOT work. He's stubborn and strong willed and really quite determined. All qualities that will serve him well in later life, but make our life as parents just a bit tricky!

As for daddy drinking his milk out of a cup at the same time - that might work. Daddy is the centre of his universe and he LOVES to copy what daddy does, but DH just simply won't drink plain milk. He drinks chocolate milk - which seems to have about half a bottle of chocolate topping added, plus several spoonfuls of a hot chocolate mix. Seriously, there's more chocolate than milk in there, and it's NOT a habit I want Sam to pick up!

Livinthedream, Sam is the same. Bottles are never ever ever drunk in bed. He drinks them during cuddles (at night time when DH is around he'll often switch between us a few times with his bottle hanging from his teeth), then at night he brushes his teeth and then goes to bed. He self settles really well at night, but sometimes has trouble during the day if he's a bit over-excited, but while a bottle of milk is part of his sleep routine, it's not something that happens in bed, if that makes any sense at all! Sam's language skills are also a bit slow (and we are told that this is because of the dummy and bottles), and while I know he understands a lot more than he can say, I'm just not sure he's quite at the stage where he would understand a bottle fairy or dummy fairy.

I think, knowing Sam, that we may just have to go the training system thing. It's expesive at $15 for one cup and the three tops that they move through, and I'd want two... But I guess it will ultimately save us in dental and orthodontic bills!

BW