Student Midwife - Cant make my mind up! (Help!)

Hello, this is really just a post to anyone that has had a good OR bad experience with a Student Midwife...when I gave birth to my daughter in 2008 I was kept in hospital overnight and got absolutely no sleep, then was induced in the labour ward (this was due to me having high blood pressure and possible pre eclampsia) I was happy to go with the induction as I was 38 weeks by then and was totally over the pregnancy. The doc brought in a student for the induction who also had a go at putting the hormones on my cervix (but failed) so throughout the day I had to have 4 internals instead of 2. I was told my waters would be broken the following morning and to get some much needed rest beforehand (as I hadn't slept in over 24 hours by then). I ended up going in to labour myself that evening, although nobody actually said that I was in labour, I was left to think I was having a normal reaction to the hormones on my cervix. I was having contractions from about 7pm and could not sleep, I had pethadine at about 3 in the morning as I just needed to sleep. I had an hours sleep and when I woke up my waters broke. Obviously by now I knew I was really in labour and when I was checked I was 6cm. I tried to hold off with anymore pain relief but the contractions were too intense for me and I was not able to get off the bed to try and get any relief due to having constant monitoring. I had an epidural at 10am when I was 9cm dilated, my baby was posterior (which is why everything was so intense) and after over an hour of pushing she hadn't moved at all. A scalp monitor was put in her head without anyone asking me and I was given an episiotomy and forceps to get her out at 12.23pm.
I felt really traumatised after the whole ordeal and cried for weeks after everytime I had a flashback to the birth.
I am now 23 weeks pregnant with my second and I am scared of how this birth will go. Someone recommended I get a doula this time around but part of me feels like I am not so naive now and will be able to speak up for myself. My Mum happened to get chatting to a midwife at her work this week and has given me the contact details for her and a student midwife that I can see through the pregnancy and she will also attend the birth if I request.
I just want to know of anyones experiences with a student midwife and whether you were happy she was there or regretted it? Part of me would like to have someone there that can stick up for me, but part of me only wants to share the birth with the people that need to be there, like my husband and mum.
For my first birth, there was a student midwife in the room (one that was training at the hospital) and she ran out of the room twice to have a vomit whilst I was in labour - so you can imagine why I am a bit unsure of whether I want anyone else in the room with us during the birth.
I guess I am also worried I will feel 'crowded'. I want to have a better birth this time around but I am unsure if having a student midwife/doula there is the right thing for me...

I think you've answered your own question. You are doubting you need the help or want the hassle. That says to me that you will be better off with you famiuly support and your own ob and midwife.....

I suppose I have but I am just very nervous about it all and as I have never looked in to a doula or private midwife as an option before I would just like to know about people's experiences...were they such a great help that it didn't matter that another person was in the room? If you know what I mean...:-)

If you want an Advocate for you during Labour, I'd suggest you get a doula. I'm in a similar boat to you and am weighing up the same options. I'm a pretty confident person generally and have never needed anyone to advocate on my behalf. However when I was in labour I was in a fair bit of "pain" and was really tired. It affected my ability to think straight. It was then that the Doula became the best $$ I have ever spent.

A student midwife may not necessarily be a good Advocate for you. It really depends on their previous study and personal history. If they are a mature age person that has kids, they might be able to perform that role but I wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable with an 18 year old first year despite their best intentions.

With our Doula I didn't feel 'crowded' at all. She was very good at staying in the background and supporting us when needed.

Hope this helps.

I agree with the PP, a student midwife may not be your best advocate. Are your mum or DH capable of speaking up on your behalf?

I had a similar experience to yours with my first delivery, in that I had forceps and an episiotomy and a student in the delivery suite. I had met the student at my ob's rooms the week before and had taken an immediate dislike to her. She was a med student doing an obstetric's placement she had no interest in. She told me that obstetric's were 'gross' and that she couldn't wait for it to be over. When she turned up in the delivery suite I insisted, long and loudly, that I did not want her present and was told by the MW's that I would have to clear that with my OB. Excuse me??? It's my baby, my vagina, my birth. Anyway, by the time my ob arrived my DD was in distress and needed a forceps delivery. I felt pushed into having the student in the room and was very angry with my mum in particular for not standing up as my advocate and insisting she be removed. My DH was so overwhelmed by the whole experience I reckon I was lucky he was still standing on his own two feet, let alone advocating for me - that is why I asked my mum to be present. It has caused some problems over the years between my mother and I, particularly during my subsequent pg's and births. Anyway, my point is, perhaps I would have been better with an independent MW/doula, but I felt my mum should be able to advocate for me (which she did during my last delivery!) and, like you, I didn't want any more people in the room.

I'm not sure what's right for you, but perhaps you could sit down with your DH and your mum and make very clear what you need from them and what you want (and don't want) during your labour and delivery. I also felt far less overwhelmed myself second and third time around and was better able to advocate for myself.

For what it's worth, after my first delivery (episiotomy, failed ventouse and forceps) I pushed my other two out with no assistance (except pain relief!). I didn't realise, after my first delivery, that birth could be so easy!!

ETA - She left the room to vomit?? Twice? Gee, that must have made you feel really good about yourself! I know she needs to learn somehow, but not at the cost of your comfort and dignity. I think she should not have been allowed back in the room and she could have tried with another delivery when she had pulled herself together.

I am sorry you had such a rough experience at your first birth. My experience was also not the best and i had flashbacks for months.

I had a student midwife follow me through my pregnancy and it was up to me whether i invited her to the birth. My intention was to invite her but due to personal circumstances at the last minute (a close friend lost her baby) i decided that i didn't want the student midwife to be there.

I went on to experience trauma during my labour and i kinda wonder whether having an independent person present may have changed this. However, i don't think my student was the right person for this role. As a student, at each appt she would ask the person i was seeing for a signature on her record of appointments. This was only a little thing, but to me it put her in debt to them and less likely to question them or support me in their presence to question them.

Post birth, i had a meeting at the hospital where i had made a formal complaint (re actions surrounding the birth) and was supported by an independent midwife. Wow, awesome woman who helped me feel strong to say what i wanted to say. She was an experienced IM but i think even as a student she would have been awesome.

So, i think it depends on the student and if they gel with you and are able to do what you want them to. AT the birth, you want to be comfortable and free to choose who shares your birth space. I would let any people know that i might change my mind and not call them or might ask them to leave if things weren't working but i would hope to know beforehand (through bulding a relationship during labour) who i wanted to be there

I had a student midwife, who was supposed to follow me through the pregnancy but frequently had to cancel appointments. When birth day came, she was there for a few minutes, then decided she would go out and do paid work, and asked us to call when I was 6-8cm. When I was in transition, I barked at my husband that she'd made it clear where her priorities lay and not to worry about calling her. He managed to text her one handed behind my back, and she came.

As it turned out, she was wonderful postnatally, and my mum couldn't get over what a bonus it was and how lucky I was to have her. For the birth itself, DH and I were able to be strong and voice our requests and concerns (my DH would be a great doula) and it turned out really well.

But next time round I think I'd probably have a doula.

Is that helpful at all? :lol: I'm just sitting on the fence!

As a student midwife, I would recommend having one. You can contact the uni and ask for only a 3rd year (so almost qualified) midwife if you are concerned about having someone who is not as experienced. Having a student will mean you have a relationship with them prior to birth, and if at any time you feel they are not the right person you can end the agreement. It's completely up to you. I had a student with my first child, and was very sad I couldn't have one for my last birth because it was really nice having that extra person there to support me and my husband. Unlike the midwife, your student will have less paperwork to do and so can spend more time being with you instead.

In respose to FabFiona, I really think some of the best midwives in training are straight out of high school. They do not have to work as hard to set aside their own birth experiences and concentrate on the woman in labours own very personal experience as those of us who are mothers do (does that make sense). I get quite sad actually when I hear people suggesting my fellow students (most in our cohort have no kids) are somehow lesser than those of us who have given birth. It's not having kids that makes a great midwife, it's having empathy and understanding.

SiarasMummy, listening to you describ your birth it is pretty clear that you have suffered birth trauma. Have you ever had a chance to debrief and have your story achnowledged and your experience validated? That may be really helpful for you before you approach this birth. You will have to deal with your fears at some point and it would probably be better for you to do that prior to birth rather than in labour. Doulas can be great at helping you to have the kind of birth that you want and supporting all of the poepl in your birth team because they have seenit all before and they know it isn't about them but it is about you and your hubby and mum all come out of the experience that matters. When you are in labour it is very difficult to advocate for yourself even if you arn't naive because hopefully you are comfortable enough to go to 'that' place whilst in labour. Dads are lovely but to be honest they are men and they are aware of different things than women are. They can be VERY supportive(men that it) but they don't always anticipate the same things that a woman might. I can't speak for whether a student MW would be helpful or not. The fact that you have ahd a bad experience with one type of student may mean you are better off being looked after by a doula who has experience and can support you the way you want to be supported.

XX Bella

Thank you all for your replies, the student that has been recommended to me is through 'midwives naturally' - she is actually a grandmother so obviously already has a lot of experience with labour etc. I really do appreciate everything you have all said. I have thought about a doula but as this student came recommended by a midwife who deals a lot with homebirths etc, I am just assuming she would probably be as helpful as a doula in training anyway?
I know some people that hate hospitals and prefer homebirths and are very 'anti drugs' etc, I CAN understand where these people are coming from but I am just not one of them. To me, as long as I am informed and I am happy with what is going on, I don't care whether I have pain relief or not, as long as it is what I have asked for. However, this is the attitude that got me in to trouble last time, I put my faith in the docs and midwives and when asked if I had a birth plan, I said my plan was to 'go with it' as I had no previous experience to know better. I think this is part of why I was not informed about much at all through the birth. I actually went through labour from around 7pm to 5am without even knowing I was in labour - I had been told the hormones would only be just enough to allow me to have my waters broken the following morning, so I just thought the pains I was having were from that. Because of this I didn't have my mum with me until the last part of the birth because I hadn't been able to tell her what was going on and to come to the hospital.
I also thought I was being weak when it came to dealing with the pain of contractions, I made loads of noise and couldn't handle it - it wasn't until they brought in the forceps that I was told the baby was posterior through the whole birth - perhaps if they had told me that earlier I would've been more prepared for what was going to happen. Also, they told me I needed the constant monitoring due to being induced so I was stuck on the bed for most of the labour - maybe if I had known I could get up and walk around and change positions the baby would've turned and not been posterior and I would've had an easier time through the contractions.
These are the reasons I feel like it would help to have that extra person there for me, but as I also know what to expect this time I also know I will be able to speak up for myself. My Husband is a fantastic support but he was very much like me, in that he didn't know what to expect with an induction and didn't question what the docs or midwives were saying.
Even now looking back, perhaps I didn't even need to be induced? Sure, I had high blood pressure but was an induction really necessary? Maybe if I had waited until I went in to labour myself the birth would've been totally different. And I think that is also where an extra person would help (even if it is a student) I could ask them questions and have them answered by someone that is not through the hospital.

I sound like I am talking myself in to it now haha

As for the student that was in the room the last time, I don't recall even being asked if she could be there, I never met her before the birth at all. It just felt like another set of eyes watching me whilst I was in agony. Maybe they did ask me, probably when I was in the middle of a contraction and had no idea what I was agreeing to LOL

I have debriefed about my labour - just through the forum on bellybelly, I haven't actually spoken to anyone face to face about it. When I think back now I still feel scared and upset by it but then I also think I am just lucky I got through it and have a healthy child at the end of it, there are lots of mums that go through worse than I did so sometimes I wonder why I am so scared!

Just because other peoples experience is worse doesn't mean there isn't something to grieve for you about yours. Maybe you could find a birth debrief group near you? There are some about. I know of a few, if you let me know where you live (PM) then I could possibly put you in contact. Anyway I hope everything works out for you whatever you choose

SiarasMummy I know this isn't your question exactly, but one thing that did make a HUGE difference between my first and second birth was a calm birth course. I had forceps, episiotomy etc first time round and felt out of control and very frightened. I did the course before my second birth with my DH and ended up having the most beautiful birth where I totally felt in control. I honestly didn't feel that I needed any third party as I was so confident in what I was doing. I realise alot of what happened to you was out of your control and for me this was one way to ensure I had control back. Interestingly the midwife that was present at my first birth also admitted me for my second and upon reading my birth preferences made it clear to me that she didn't think I could do it without drugs as I intended (which is what I really wanted to do). I am about to give birth again and am hoping to have my cousin who is a trainee midwife there (she has also given birth 4 times) but not really because I think she will change the outcome of the birth - I just think it would be special to have her there. I am not in any way trying to sway you for or against having a trainee midwife, I just thought I would share what worked for me after a fairly traumatic first birth.

On another topic.....I can't believe your midwife vomitted during the labour - what on earth was she vomitting about?????? :o

I wish all the best for a positive and lovely birth experience.