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im so over this not sleeping for more than 40 mins thing its just running me into the ground im so tempted to put her on formula but i know it will end but when? she wont sleep any where but in bed with me its hurting my back and my arm and as soon as i move im at the end of my rope
Oh TripleJ :hug: those times just really push your patience and just make everything feel so much harder! You are so right, that it will end and it shouldnt be too far away but at the moment even tomorrow feels like forever away! Hang in there, hun, you are doing an amazing job and going so very well. Im not sure about the sleeping situation but perhaps one of those little things you attach to the side of the bed so J is still close but enough to give you a bit of distance. Just a thought. You really are doing a top job and this BFing gig is hard but SO worth it :hug:
What Lily Dust said! I'd like to add, though, that formula is not necessarily a quick fix. And the risks associated are not worth it.
I absolutly know how you feel. My dd was a slow feeding, short sleeping, often feeding baby. I must have been a zombie! But it did pass, and I am so glad I perserved. She is so very healthy, and I know the life long benefits that increase with every breastfed. It will pass. You are doing great. :hug:
If it's you she wants I'm not seeing how formula will change that?
Oh that sounds so very hard for you :hug: Has she always been like this? Can anyone else settle her at all?
DS was like that round the clock when h e was teething. It did pass with a bit of time. Honestly, it's unlikely to be due to breastfeeding anyway. Wish I knew how to fix it for you
sleep deprivation is the pits. bilby was feeding EVERY two hours until she was 20 months old. i was averaging maybe 90 mins sleep per 24 hours, an absolute walking zombie. i have no idea how i DIDN"T crash the car when i was like that. (in retrospect, i wish Xdh had taken my car keys away from me).
everything you put down, i remember so well, but i was doing it with ONE child, not TWO like you are.
how supportive is your dh? does he get up at night and bring you water, whatever you are needing at the time, change the baby etc? that made a huge difference to me, to be able to get thru it.
it's so hard, but i agree, formula is not the cure all. i've met so many mums who did exactly that (switch to formula, thinking it would solve the sleeping issue) and it actually didn't make any diff. Not saying what you should do, just presenting the idea, that it is not guaranteed you will get teh sleep sorted out, if you put bubs on formula. it might, it might not.
bubs have very limited ways of communicating. something i wished i had done (when we were at this stage, but i was too damm sleep deprived to think of it) was to take her to a chiro, to see if there were any alignment issues. as well as GP checkup, to find out if there was any physical reason, why she was waking every two hours, 24/7.
do you still have houseguests? if they are still there, do they help (housework, looking after your oldest)? is your DH supportive? for the bf-ing to continue and to succeed, you really do need practical and moral support from the people around you. if you don't have that, if it was me, i would consider formula.
so damm hard to problem solve, when you're in the sleep deprived state.
thinking of you and wishing you all the best, whatever you do, i know you do the best you can, we all do. so don't guilt trip yourself hon, just do the best you can, with the situation you're in. only you know what that is.
i really hope your dh is onboard and "in your corner". this is too hard to do alone.
there isn't a RIGHT or a WRONG answer to this. you gotta do, what you gotta do, to get thru.
DS was the same, I was utterly exhausted. And I only had one, you're doing a great job. There were quite a few times were I felt like giving up so I would give myself two weeks and everytime I would get to the end of that two weeks the issue had passed. Didn't mean a new issue hadn't started :rolleyes: but at least I felt like we were moving forward/getting through things.
I also highly recommend the chiro/osteo. It can't hurt and then its something to rule out.
Hope you're getting some practical help around the house and don't forget to take all offers of help. :hug:
J, how many weeks old is she? There's a good chance she's around the time of a wonder week... which would be a much more logical explaination for the unsettledness and need for feeding every 2hrs?
I also found with co-sleeping that Carmelo got a bit restless at this stage - he wanted to be in the bed with me, but wanted to stretch out a little too... it was about the time I started putting him in the bassinette next to me and he spent half the night in with me and half in the basinnette.
Big :hug: as sleep deprivation is torture!! I agree with the other ladies though.... it's unlikely changing her to formula will change anything.
At least with her being unsettled, it's easier to lift your top and latch her on rather than getting up to either make up a bottle or rock her back to sleep IYKWIM? :hug:
She'll settle down soon :hug:
Another thought. I agree that co-sleeping can be uncomfy especially if you feel like you can't move if she is sleeping on your arm. Is it possible to set up a side-car right next to your bed? It was by far the best thing we did. It just meant we all had our own space and I didn't wake up feeling all touched out. DS still sleeps in the side-car cot and he is 2.5 yrs!
I understand your thinking triple j. As you I ff my first and he was a great sleeper and I am bf my second and he is a terrible sleeper. It's so hard not to think that the answer is to ff. The only thing that has kept me going is the thought of having to make bottles in the middle of the night! I have no answers but I just wanted you to know I understand exactly where you are coming from!
It may be time to get some more space in your bed - either by putting DD in her own cot/mattress on the floor, or by moving both of you onto a big mattress on the floor.
THe advantage is that you don't have to worry about her falling out so you're not holding her all night and you can have room to roll over.
ALso, if she doesn't have a boob under her nose she may not feed as often.
Can you encourage cluster feeding during hte day, and also really teach her about day - get her out and about and seeing the sun and so on as much as you can.
good luck and hugs.