Taking children to weddings, functions etc. Need help!!

Hi guys,

Looking for some help. I have a ball for my course coming up – was wanting to take my 14 month old bub but have been told that he can’t go as they ‘don’t think it is a good idea’. I feel he is too young to be left with a sitter, and he is breast fed to sleep each night. Obviously I could just not go – but it is an important event and something my husband and I are extremely keen to attend.

Any comments on this at all??

Obviously if we did go he would be our responsibility – if he got unruly we would leave early – but based on previous weddings etc he will have a bit of a play – eat dinner with everyone (baby led solids bub and happily joins in meals), have a little breast feed then sleep in his sling while my husband and I dance and socialise. Have already explained this to the organizers but they are still not keen.
Any ideas? Should I force the issue or not?? Any avenues of recourse??
Thanks and look forward to hearing your ideas!!

B

Hi Bindi

It's a tough one but I think if the organisers aren't keen for you to take DS then I wouldn't take him. This probably means you can't attend and I would make the organisers aware that this is the case. Hopefully they will change their minds. Good Luck!

I think it sounds fine - I guess to most people they think of ratty toddlers running amok, but if youre comfortable with it - and think he'll be no drama, then I think its a good chance to educate people on how lovely children can be!
And if it does turn into a drama, then you can always leave early :)

All the best!

Yeah sorry Bindi I tend to agree with Starangelk. Regardless of you being prepared to accept responsibility for your son, the organisers would most likely still be held liable if something happened. A bub is pretty vulnerable and places where there is the service of alcohol, potentially intoxicated people, dancing etc opens up all sorts of risks. Maybe they also fear it will open the floodgates to other people bringing kids of all ages and then it starts to move away from an adults event IYKWIM?

I can totally see your position though - it will be sad if you don't get to go. How far away will it be from your house? Can you leave him with a relative and come and breastfeed him to sleep then go back? When my goddaughter was around 18 months her parents had to attend a ball that was at a hotel. They booked a room at the hotel, and DH and I came and stayed in the room with my goddaughter until the ball was finished then we went home. Any probs and they were a phone call away downstairs. Is the ball at a hotel that you can stay at?

Hey guys – thanks for the feedback and advice. We all ended up going to the ball and had the BEST time!!! It was brilliant!!!!
Here are some photos.
Med Ball 2011 | Facebook
It took a LOT of negotiating to get him there. I spoke to the Anti-Discrimination Commission Queensland and they were supportive and explained that there are provisions under the act against indirect discrimination towards breastfeeding which includes when there is a rule or requirement that disadvantages people who are pregnant or breastfeeding more than people who are not. There is also provision under the family responsibilities section. Their website had the following info sheet. relationship status, parental status & family responsibilities discrimination and Pregnancy & breastfeeding discrimination
I had to talk with the venue and also the organizers – the venue was fine with it – but the organizers were mainly students in their 20s who didn’t understand why I couldn’t just leave him with a baby sitter (he is still in the separation anxiety stage, they didn’t seem to know that babies have a separation anxiety stage). In the end they reluctantly agreed to have him there after a lot of discussions – and they were still not ecstatic about the idea. Their fears were unfounded though as everyone had the best night!!
The function was at Sea World so we spent the first hour or so walking around, and my little one had the best time looking at all of the sharks, fish, stingrays – and he even got to see me go on a rollercoaster in a ball dress  When it was time to sit down for dinner we had all of his favourite food packed with us so he could start eating as soon as we sat down. We would get up from the table every so often and go to the dance floor… Ethan was on my hip and my husband was spinning us around as we danced, Ethan thought it was so much fun, and was giggling his little head off. He was quite fascinated with the saxophone and the piano as well and loved watching them. When we were eating our meals Ethan was over food so we put him in the high chair with his colouring book, pencils and stickers – he loves drawing and loves stickers and that kept him busy for 10mins while we ate. After dinner it was 9:30 and Ethan was well and truly tired, so we got him changed into his PJs and I fed him to sleep, and we put him in his carrier and he slept for the rest of the evening snuggled up against my chest while my husband and I chatted with our friends.
The organizers were worried that the guests would respond negatively to having him there – but it was the complete opposite!! Ethan was inundated with people taking photos of him (he was in a tux which matched his dad ), telling how cute he was and a few even asked him if he could be their date… it was really sweet and he was a hit.
In the end it was a success. A large part of that was knowing Ethan and what he would like/need and a lot of planning ahead. Ethan is a super outgoing bub who gets bored very easily – but on the flip side love to get out and see people and new things. If I had a bub who gets a bit overwhelmed with lots of new people and things it probably would not have worked, but social outings and exciting things is his forte. We also worked with him all night, if he wanted to go for a walk we found as safe spot for him to do so and let him wander, if he wanted to sit on our hip we let him, and we let him tell us when he wanted to sleep. We were prepared to leave early if it wasn’t working and we also couldn’t really drink much as we had to make sure that we were aware of everything going on around us. And we had a bag packed for every contingency, favourite toys, pencils, paper, stickers, food, wipes, PJs, carrier etc.
In the end it could not have gone better – it was a great night!!!

Sounds like a fantastic night for you all. I'm so pleased it worked out for you. :)

Im so glad it worked out for you! Well done, you sound like a super-fab mum :)

awesome that it worked out my toddler would have been horrible at something like that lucky he can be babysat lol

Thanks guys!! I thought I would post it in case anyone else is trying to sort out the maze of taking bubs to functions...

That is amazing JJJ that your little one will go with a baby sitter!! Ethan just isn't up to that stage yet... he is even a little clingy with me going to uni even though he has his dad full time at home with him (he took long service leave to be with him) - those two are tightly bonded and best friends but he still gets cranky with me coming and going and is like velcro on me the last few weeks when I am home. :)

Good on you Bindi! I have take our babes to functions before, but never when they were older than 12 months - good work :)

I was surprised (well, not really) that medical students were not understanding about your need to be with your bub. Little wonder, then, that so many GPs suggest women wean early, hey? You set a really good example that night, Bindi, for a whole generation of future doctors. Well done :)