Thinking of using a Doula? - my experience (long)
I thought that i would write this for anyone considering a Doula and not sure what to expect or whether it is worthwhile
DH and I decided that we would look for a Doula to support me in labour as last time he was not so great (not terrible though). He hates hospitals and found 18 hours of watching me in pain and being powerless the worst experience ever, also my sister, who had been at the firt one, was now not really on speaking terms with us, so it was just him and I...
My last labour ended in a c/s, so to increase my chances of a VBAC i looked for a Pro VBAC OB, but still was not 100% confident that he would really support my choices when it came to the cruch.
This obviously was a costly exercise, so we decided that we would look for a student doula as we couldnt really affort to fork out any more money.
Cutting a long story short I found the beautiful Loulabelle (who was actually qualified) to be my doula.
Some other things had occured in my pregnancy (that you may have read about) and as she would possibly be my only support in labour, she decided that we would have to get to know each other and have a relationship of trust going into the labour.
I had read that the usual doula 'service' would be 3 visits pre labour - i think i had at least double that, probably more. During this time we would talk about my previous labour, my expectations of this one, what i really wanted, my birth plan, what i had been reading, her experiences, not only as a doula, but also in child birth too and so much more, but most importantly without judgment or a motive of her own
She also gave me books that she had for more reading and also the hypnobirthing CD as i had expressed an interest in that too.
I was keen to use the homeopathic birthing kit that i had been given 3 years ago and so i gave her a crash course in what they were for and how to give them.
She also kept in touch via here and also text me at least once a week to ensure that i was OK and to touch base, though this time, i came to realise that nothing was too much for her, she was looking forward to my birth just as much as i was - but not selfishly, she wanted me to have my VBAC, for me...
We had a big discussion one day about mental blocks and that i needed to let go of everything as this would not allow me to focus fully - not only did this advise help, but it increased the relationship between us as i later wrote her an email outlining all the things that i was worried about and those things that i was too embarresed to say to her face to face.
The BIG day finally arrived and fortunatly it was a Saturday (her DH was home so no child care arrangements needed to be made - she possibly wouldnt have made it if she needed to do anything). She was at my house within an hour of me calling and to be honest, i have never been so glad to see anyone in my whole life...
Here is my birth story https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...y-long-160849/
What you wont get in that story is how much support Laura gave me. From the second she arrived i felt safe with her, she had done it before and could tell me what was happening.
She didnt even get into the house, it was straight in the car. Neither DH or I had considered any other way of me sitting in the car, I knew that i couldnt sit, so she showed me how to sit so that i was a 'bit' comfortable in the car - every contraction (that were 1-2 mins apart) she talked me thought them and allowed me to squeeze the blood out of her hand!!!! :o
When we got to the hospital she allowed me to hang off her and helped me get to the room. All my fears were gone, Laura was in my ear, next to me the whole time, telling me how great i was, that i was nearly there, that i was going to get my VBAC and that i could do it. She was all over the homeopathic remedies (i swear she must have been studying them!!!) and gave me things that i needed (back pressure or heat back etc) before i even knew i needed them!
Having her then allowed my DH (who was brilliant this time) to take a back step, he just was there for me.
Having a VBAC was the most amazing experience of my life, i dont know if i could have done it without Laura and i am so eternally grateful that she shared the journey with us.
Not only did i have fantatic support, but i have made a friend that i treasure and we now catch up with our children and do normal stuff.
If you are ever considering using a doula, i would highly recommend it. If you are considering Loulabelle .... DO IT .... If i ever have another baby, she will be one of the first people i call to make sure that she will be around :)
Thank you Laura, you may never know how much you support helped us and how grateful we are to you - you are a truely wonderful person, kind, caring and not the slightest bit selfish :)
