Coping with 3 kids under 5

Hello!

I'm 8 months pregnant with #3 - my other kids are 2 and 4. As well as the usual nausea, restless legs and constant toilet trips, worry over how I will cope with 3 kids under 5 is keeping me awake at night.

I'm wondering when I'll ever get any sleep. My eldest DS doesn't really need an afternoon nap these days, and my younger DS can be a bit hit and miss in the sleep department. I don't have a lot of family help, and am a bit paranoid abot sliding down the PND slope (had it after my first).

I'm just wondering (hoping) whether anyone out there in BellyBelly land has some tips / advice?

Hi and congrates on your 3rd pregnancy. My DD1 was 3 and DD2 was 18 months when DD3 made her arrival. I kept life really simple and my hubby was a great help. Thankfully my eldest wasn't at school so if I needed to "call a day off" due to having a rough night I could.

My kids did get too much tv for a while, but I always made sure we had outside time and story time each day. Initially my only goal for the day was to get dinner on the table at night, so I would start preparing in the morning. For the first month I had a cleaner do the bathrooms and kitchen. Online shopping was a god sent. I also used to do a cook up on the weekend when my DH was home.

There are heaps of little practical things you can do but mostly you just need to go with the flow, at least until you get into a groove. If you start feeling overwhelmed please shout out for help..All the best hun

I have 3 kids under 4 and I'm not going to lie to you some days are tough and no I don't get a whole lot of sleep (all 3 aren't great sleepers) but we're coping just fine.

Tips, my biggest tip is try not get bogged down in having to accomplish everything just do what you can. Some days I get the whole house cleaned, others, well I consider it an accomplishment if all the kids have been fed during the day lol.

When my husband comes home I always go and take a shower. Ten minutes where I lock myself in the bathroom with no kids. Otherwise I feel like I have had everything sucked out of me. That short amount of time gives me the ability to recharge.

I used to worry about 3 little ones but you survive, you manage. In some ways I actually found going from 2-3 easier than 1-2. You will be fine.

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Hi FirstKid, congrats on your pregnancy.

It all works out in the end....I have a 4.5 year old, 2.5 year and 11 week old bub and my DH works overseas - away 6 weeks, back for 2 weeks. I was petrified....but amazingly enough it seems easier than going from 1 to 2. The two eldest play together alot now which is great. I do alot of online shopping - lol - groceries, nappies and Australian Dairy Farmers for bread and milk twice a week. I find the whole dinner/bath and into bed the hardest part of the day, so if dinner is pretty much organised in the morning then it is just a reheat or turn the oven on then this helps alot. The two eldest only get bathed every second day and a wipe over with facecloth and soap on the day off. If you get one thing done a day then that is great if not, there is always tomorrow. In the early days, if your kids are happy, fed and you get them into bed each night then you have done a great job and then from here it hopefully gets easier. It all falls into place. Good luck x

I have a 3.9yo, a 2yo and a 9 month old. It's crazy busy but you get into a routine. We wake up, cuddle in bed then the girls watch tv while I shower. Ds is still asleep in his cot, but will normally wake up around this time. The girls feed themselves breaky while I do the dishwasher and put on a load of washing.

Then we get dressed and start our day, I put the girls in day care twice a week and Ds one so I can juggle swimming and dancing lessons for all three.

Dd1 no longer naps so she gets one on one time when the others sleep we do crafts or cook.

Lately the tv has been on more as I have been sick but the girls play a lot, they make a fort under the table or build city's with blocks etc happily on their own. They have also wanted to start helping do things so they put plates in the sink, put toys away and feed the dog.

It works out in the end. Ds is crawling and either follows me or observes the girls, he just likes company and fits in. As for sleeping I used to go to bed not long after them, especially when feeding Ds overnight. If they wake up too early the girls go downstairs and play.

:hug:
Just wanted to tell you, I found it easier with three kids under 5 (Was actually aged 0, 22mths, and 3.5yrs when bubs number 3 was born) then I ever did with two and being pregnant. You never realise just how much being pregnant and running around after small children takes it out of you until you have to do both together. My bet is you cope much better when bubs is here and you no longer have to worry about the nausea, aches, pains, hormones, etc that pregnancy brings. (I am reminding myself of this very fact right now whilst waiting for bub number 4).
:hug:

I’m only new to this three under five thing but for me, same as misty, it’s easier than having two and being pregnant.

There is absolutely NO WAY I would survive without extra care and my two eldest go to kindergarten three days a week. I have convinced my DH that this is actually much cheaper than prescription medication, therapy and take-away for dinner every night (because I simply would not be able to put dinner on the table and look after the kids).

I also get out of the house as much as possible. We all get up, have a shower, get dressed and eat breakfast together. Then I drive DH to work and the kids to kindy (if it’s a kindy day). If I don’t make myself do that the kids end up watching TV, getting bored and hungry, I get distracted and don’t shower, and the day just ends up being a cranky mess.

My older two still wake at night and want to sleep with us (not every night thank goodness) and our baby is usually unsettled from 4am to 6am. What we do at the moment is make the older two kids sleep at the bottom of the bed (top to tail). For us, at the moment, it’s working (well... sort of :rofl: ).

My last three are very close in age...when my youngest was born they were newborn (prem), 13mths and 24 months.
It is hard but it is very rewarding.
They are now 17mths, 2.5yrs and nearly 3.5yrs and they run me ragged some days especially as all three are now mobile but they also keep each other company.
None of them go to daycare but we do try and get out at least every second day...even if it just a walk to the local park a few doors down.
I am fortunate enough that all three are really good sleepers...I am tired a lot of the time but a good night sleep makes all the difference.
Arsenic hours are the worst in this house (5-7pm) dinner, baths and bed and by the time the 5 youngest hit the sack I can sit down with my feet up (and often a cider) and relax for a little.
It is easy to put yourself to the bottom of the pile when you are so busy but try if you can to treat yourself to a haircut, eyebrow wax, facial, bubble bath...anything that helps to rejuvenate you. (She says sitting her with broken nails, oily hair and daggy trakky dacks :rofl:)

My eldest is 3.5, middle child is 22 mths and youngest is 5 weeks. My dh will be returning to work on Thursday from leave and I'm packing myself for when he's on afternoon shift (which happens every one out of three weeks).

ATM, my eldest is taking up the most of my time as we are toilet training her; we are so close to it being accomplished but occasionally she gets lazy with it which is so frustrating. If your eldest isn't yet toilet trained, see if you can gain their intrest in it before #3 arrives (congrats too by the way)!

Other than that advice I find the two eldest play well together and occupy each other; or conversely they can be ratty and drive me bonkers (if I allow them too).

All the best for a healthy and happy pg!

Thanks so much, ladies - I do feel better reading your responses, and am going to give your tips (e.g. online shopping, baths every other day) a red hot go. I'm also hoping that Misty and Epacris are right and I'll feel better when I'm not pregnant - this pregnancy has been a bit of a nightmare and (apart from being scared about what's to come) I can't wait for it to be over!

RainbowBrite - you are my hero - I don't know how you cope with so many! My hubby wants a big family, but I think I'll stick at 3 for now!

First kid I won't lie it is tough but sooo rewarding too! My twins where 15 months when ds3 was born and I am now pg with #4 and actually looking forward to having 4 under 4! I don't let the little things get to me. So long as the kids are dressed and feed it has being I good day!! I very rarely get to clean my entire house but it is getting easier as they get older. For a while there I couldn't even leave the room without disaster striking!! I found cooking in bulk and freezing a godsend in the led up to ds3 arrival and the first few months after. We are very laid back in this house so in the mornings I feed all the boys cereal together to cut down mess and time. Lunch is usually a sandwich or fruit. Dinner is always a cooked meal eaten at the table. I try my hardest to get my dishes done straight after dinner and a load of washing on while stripping them down for their bath. Outings can be a nightmare in my own but I just take it as it comes and am not afraid to pack up and leave the shops/zoo/friends place if all hell breaks loose. My twins have started childcare one day a week just so they can do fun things like pasting and painting which doesn't happen often here. At the end of the day it all comes together some how. Maybe you can ask at your next hospital app if there is any home help available when you get home? I went to my 26wk app yesterday and they ask that question as a standard. Also do nit be afraid to tell them about your fears of PND and use you maternal child health nurse for your own well being as well as the kids. Take care.

Firstkid I hope you don't mind me hijacking your post, but I am in exactly the same situation as you. I had DD3 2 weeks ago, and I have a 4 1/4 year old and a 2 year old. This is only the second day that I have run solo with 3 kids - my mum left Saturday and my DH started a new job yesterday (and I had a bout of mastitis Sunday!) So far I have managed to get the essentials done (you know, food and stuff ;) ) and have ventured out to take DD to dancing and to pick some things up from the shops.

The baby is easy, apart from the fact that she doesn't seem to like her bassinet at night time. It's the two older ones that I am struggling with! The constant fighting, hurting and general screaming between them is doing my head in! They can and do play nicely, but in the blink of an eye it can turn nasty. I know this is normal behaviour for these ages (the two year old has only found her horns in the last two weeks). Tiredness and diving hormones have meant that I am not coping with them as well as I would like to, and resorting to being a yelling, ranting and generally not-very-nice mummy. I get to the end of each day (and the same in later pregnancy) thinking I am just not doing a very good job with them. This is not the mummy I want to be.

I am just wondering, for those who have been there and done that (or are in the midst of it at the moment), did you use daily routines to get you through? How did you manage the fighting? Is there anything in particular you did to start your day well?

I have good intentions, thinking I will get super organised when the kids go to bed, but by then I am simply too tired! I really want to enjoy this time with my beautiful girls and feel like I am enriching them every day instead of 'putting out fires'.

Any ideas will be warmly welcomed :D

Karen

Karen - routines do work quite well in our house hold. I think it's the predictability that one thing (brushing teeth) will lead to another ( eg bed time), so there are set expectations and no surprises.
And I hear you totally on the older two fighting and taking up more of your time. Last week I started giving the eldest (3.5 yrs) a warning then put her in time out if the behavior continued - I tell ya if I had have realized what a turn around that would make I would have started using time outs much earlier on instead of putting up with the naughty behavior.

We have routines, it helps keep the girls settled. We also use time out if they get naughty.

When you are feeding have the older ones help, ask them to get pillows, wipes anything you might need during the feed so they feel helpful. Then get them to do an activity they enjoy like drawing if you think they will make a mess use the doodle pro's ask them to draw things so you are engaging them too.

Its hard when you are feeding through out the day, I found if all else fails the tv is a lifesaver.

We have now got Ds into the same routine as the girls now he is older and having solids. They all have meals together and bath at the same time.

Black rose what are doodle pro's?

Magnetic drawing boards, you can get big ones and little ones. My girls spend hours drawing on them.

There are also water based ones you filll the pens with water and they draw on the mat.

Ahhh no I know!! Thanks!