Does bub need a dummy?

Hello,

I have just had my little bub,she is one week old and it is our third night at home. Bub is a great feeder/sleeper during the day,but as soon as night time hits she becomes restless.I can get her off to sleep,only for her to wake up crying in 5 min. The only way she has gotten to sleep the last 2 nights is because DH has let bub suck his finger until she falls asleep,and then stays asleep.

Does this means she wants a dummy?I didn't want to give her one as she is a breastfed bub and I didn't want nipple confusion. Will sucking of DH's finger affect the way she breastfeeds?

How do you get your newborn to sleep of a night?

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How do you get your newborn to sleep of a night?

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Luck? XD

DS had a dummy for a little while. The midwife told us to use a cherry shaped one in the next month bracket (3 to 9 months?) to avoid nipple confusion.

Maybe hun, have a go with one and see. It won't hurt her. Both my sons had a dummy within the first week or so of arriving. I got rid of it around 4/5 months old. HTH

Exact same thing happened to us, we bought a dummy but she didn't really take it, so we didn't persevere.

Normally A is fed to sleep, sometimes she goes down slightly awake and either nods off herself or crys out and I pick her up and pat her bum while she is over my shoulder and she drops off again.

She def prefers to suck and has recently found her hands.
But I also noticed that sometimes if I popped her back on the boob, she would have a big feed again, so was still hungry, but had just nodded off.
She also wanted to suck when she had tummy pain as it was a comfort thing, so I had to burp her well.

Not sure if any of this is helpful.

Congratulations on your bubba :$



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Apparently nipple confusion can be an issue but both my boys had dummies from a few days old with no probs with BFing. Like Helle said, the cherry shaped ones are recommended.
I managed without a dummy with my DD (she's now 8 months old) and from a long term point of view I do prefer no dummy to dummy - it is hard to wean them (sometimes) and they can go through a stage where they lose them during the night and you have to keep getting up to stick it back in. Some say a dummy is better than a thumb and I agree - DS2 started thumb sucking when his dummy was taken away (at 6 months of age) and he is now 3 and still sucks his thumb.
One thing to keep in mind with very young bubs is that they spend ALOT of time at the boob. It's not unusual for a 1 week old to feed or suckle for 2-3 hours at a go. They just suckle, and suckle and suckle! This is ok - it is all about establishing your milk and getting her to know you and vice versa. So if you find yourself on the couch from 7pm to 9pm with her, then up again from 11pm to 12am, then again at 3am to 4am, she is probably perfectly normal and wanting to suckle you rather than sleep. I am not saying this to paint an awful picture or anything, but just to reassure you that suckling and wanting to be with mum all the time is normal newborn behaviour.
But all that said, you do whatever it takes to get you through - if right now, a dummy makes your life easier and she takes it, and you get to sleep for a few hours when you really need it, then give it a go. Provided you keep up the BF and don't let her suck the dummy instead of you, you should be ok :) You won't be the first mummy to try it in desperation at 4 in the morning :)

Some babies seem to just like to suck on something for comfort, it's is called non-nutritive sucking and it just makes them feel a bit more calm. Then you find other babies that don't really seem fussed about it. But if you have a baby who does like that comforting sucking motion I say use whatever you feel comfortable with. I found my DD did the same thing, would go to sleep sucking something (whatever she could find, a finger, a blanket etc) so we used a dummy because basically it was designed for that purpose and was safer than some of the other options!

They also don't know the difference b/w day and night yet at that age. They eventually work it out but she may have them confused. Try taking her for a walk outside when she wakes up to start the day. And during day time feeds talk to her and interact but at night don't talk, keep it quiet and dark.

She's jsut looking for comfort - your breasts are well designed to give it :) She's so little she probably is getting the hang of day and night still. It just takes time for them to settle into things. If you can, getting outside in the daylight during the day can help, as will keeping things dark adn quiet at night.

You can try a dummy if you want to, it's really up to you. There is a risk of nipple confusion which can lead to problems attaching to the breast - just be aware that it's a possibility.

The other thing is they do normally spend a lot of time at the breast feeding and comfort sucking, especially in the early weeks adn this is both totally normal and beneficial both for your baby (there are important emotional/pyschological benefits) but also for the establishment of your milk supply. Sometimes using a dummy can interfere with this process. Again, just something to be aware of.

In the early weeks it's all just trial and error as you find your way. One day one thing works, the next it's something else. It's ok, that's how you get to know your baby and learn how best to mother them.

Thank you for all the advice. Every night DH says 'Give her a dummy' (at midnight when she is crying). And I really dont want to, I actually feel a little guilty contemplating one! I do have quite a stash of them though, all got given to us as presents, and I do see we have some of the cherry ones you girls were talking about.

Last night I just offered her the breast and she was happy to suck for comfort, and when I needed a break, DH held bub and bub sucked his finger.

I will stick to my gut instinct and not give her a dummy. She is just so little and still working out the world, so I will give her time to adjust.

As I write this,I'm watching my little baby suck on her first dummy.after being up with bub since 4am,she is finally going to sleep with the dummy.Actually,she just spat it out,and is fast asleep.I tried the breast this morning, she had been on nonstop since 8:30am and my nipples couldn't stand the pain any longer.

I feel so guilty and sad that I have to give her a dummy.I really hope it doesn't affect breastfeeding,especially since we haven't gotten the hang of it yet.it is a cherry shaped one though,so I really hope she doesn't get nipple confusion.

There is a reason why she is so unsettled and I think she has reflux.I asked the paed about it at her discharge app from hospital and he said it was to early to diagnose.will ask about it again and her next app.

No need for guilt.
If you suspect reflux, try and keep her upright as much as possible. Do you have a sling or carrier you can use at home?

MadB, yes I have a sleepy wrap, and will give this a go tomorrow during the day when she wont settle. Thanks for the tip.
I hope tonight isnt too bad, for some reason it seems worse of a night time? Or maybe thats because I wish I was sleeping....

early days summertime, early days! She'll settle better with a bit of time, it's all so new for her now - even day and night :hug:
Make things as easy on yourself as you can - hope the wrap helps.

My Mum has been saying "think its time for the dummy" to me, but I really didn't want to personally either, I don't know why, I know they aren't 'bad' or anything, but just had a gut feeling and didn't want any chance of nipple confusion. Go with your instinct as a Mummy.

I have been ready Pinky's book she says sometimes they want to cluster feed in the evenings, and lots of times when your trying hard to settle them after a feed and they won't, instead of taking them into a dark room and rocking them, try putting them back on the boob instead. I tried it with my baby and it works well, means he gets more of the hind milk too so he tends to sleep better that night. When I need a break I give him to DH because he doesn't smell of milk and can sometimes settle him easier in between.
It also helped with my milk supply, the comfort suckling helps build it up.

Just my 2 cents.

I think many of us go through wondering if bub might need a dummy from time to time so don't feel guilty! I personally think if you can get through those first few weeks without succumbing to the dummy's charm then you will find other ways for your baby to settle which doesn't involve a dummy. Some babies wean from their dummies easily but for others this is very traumatic. That being said some babies do love to suck. My bub sucks her fingers and when in the sling or ergo sucks on a strap or a cloth nappy. My DD had tongue tie though and my LC was very specific - no dummies as when bf is being established it can cause nipple confusion and low supply also the whole sucking mechanism is different from a dummy to a nipple so can cause bad feeding habits and attachment which is why not offering dummies in hospital is part of the breastfeeding friendly hospitals initiative.
I'd also agree with PP that some newborns take a while to tell the difference between night and day and that cluster feeding is normal. Up to 12 feeds a day is normal.
Baby wearing is great! it might also be worth looking at whether something you eat or drink in the evenings might be affecting your bub. Do you wrap your baby? i find this helps enormously and gives a sleep cue.
Very personal choice but i have found with both my babies when they were colicky that they have preferred to sleep on their side so have put rolled up nappies to support them to sleep this way, ensuring that the nappies are well away from baby's face.
Congratulations on your new arrival! No one will judge you for using a dummy except yourself. Do what feels right for you.

Another point I forgot to add before is sucking on a dummy burns calories that can cause poor weight gain in a newborn, so booby is better, even if you think it's just a comfort thing, bubs still may be getting some nutrition out of them.

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We ended up giving DS a dummy in the hospital! We had a 4 night stay and i think on maybe night 2 or 3 we gave him one as he seemed to want to suckle and it comforted him. We also co-slept from day 1 and he was feeding every hour or so I think, took him 10 mins each feed and was looking for something suckle after each feed. He never suckled on my boobies for comfort as such and I could never comfort feed him even if I wanted to but the dummy he loved. He was never confused either and we used a big cherry one from day 4. Now he has the dummy at night only and again he looks for it after he pops off the boob. I also feed him to sleep. These things are apparently 'not ok' but "meh" whatever! I don't know why woman are told to teach their babies to not want boob or not want to suckle on a dummy for comfort. He does wake for a few night time feeds and when he spits the dummy out I know he wants boob. He feeds in about 5 mins and once that dummy is in he goes straight back to sleep. I think that if you want to try it go ahead :)