[ADVICE] development, sleeping, milestones, and the wonky line of "normal"

ok, first time mother worries setting in again ...

in many ways, DS is a perfectly happy healthy normal little man. praise God!

in some ways, I so completely don't know.

sleeping too much?

DS sleeps beautifully - anything from 10-12 hours every night (I completely know how blessed I am in this regard - I really, really feel for people whose kids don't sleep well, and I do not take this for granted).

But some nights, DS will sleep for 14, 15, 16, 17 hours ... is that ok? Eg: this week I'm off work, so instead of getting him up between 6 and 7 (DH drops me off at the station, so obviously DS has to come too!) we have just been sleeping in, and getting up either when we like or when we're going out or when DS wakes up.

Last night, he went to bed around 6pm, and didn't get up until 11am! Is that ok? Should we be worried?

he has 1 - 2 naps a day, anything from 30 mins to 3hrs. His day sleeps are really irregular these days, but his night sleeps are so consistent that we're not too worried about that.

But what does concern me is whether he's getting enough stimulation, playtime, etc, with him sleeping that much.

fontanelle

DS's fontanelle still hasn't closed over. Is that a concern?

learning

DS doesn't seem to be learning things the way that some other babies are ... eg: he was given one of those fisher price letter box things for his birthday, as did another little boy at playgroup the same age. The other little boy now knows how to "post" the letters, and get them out, etc. DS uses it as a walker, and uses the letters as teethers.

DS doesn't point at things, doesn't say or seem to understand "ta".

Other babies seem to hand their mummies blocks to add to a tower ... DS just seems to knock them down ... and then use the blocks as teethers!

DS likes looking at books and turning the pages ... but prefers to use them also as teethers ...

Part of me continues to tell myself that all babies learn different things in different ways at different times.

The rest of me is freaking out a little ...

help!


learning

He sounds perfectly fine to me.
Don't spread too much talk about all that sleeping around :lol: I have heard that more wakeful babies (I mean the ones that sleep 6-8 hours at night and maybe 1 hour during the day :wall:) do learn at a more rapid rate. It doesn't mean the ones that sleep don't learn, they just may take bit longer with cognitive stuff.

My DS was great with fine motor skills. Gross motor, nup. He still can't jump, for eg (he's over 3 now). He had 2 words at 12 months (htough lots of signs). Now he's a motor mouth and says the craziest things.

Normal is a wonky line and your DS is following it in his own special way.

fontanelle's dont close till later.

sorry i don't have much advice to offer, all the kids i have seen (my own, at playgroup etc) all do things at different ages, some are slow to start off then take off and do heaps of things all at once, some hardly sleep at all others sleep alot)

but at the end of the day, you are your DS's mum, if you think something might not be right or even if you have a little niggle in the back of your mind, go see a CHN or GP that you trust and voice your concerns. its hard not to compare your child with everyone else. but if you think you want some reassurance then go get him checked out

I think it sounds like you're doing a terrific job, and he sounds perfectly fine :)

It's so so hard not to compare with other children, I know, because I do it all the time. And then I go on an intensive 'let's learn this skill that that younger child was doing' for like 24hrs then give up lol I'm kinda jkg ;) I've relaxed alot now, but yep, I know where you're coming from.

We only really have ta here, and I'm thinking something like bird, but can't be certain. But what I have realised is her comprehension of everything is huge, so even if she's not saying it, she understands everything. Kinda scares me for when she does start talking more!

As for the sleeping, we're lucky DD is a good sleeper too. On kindy days I have to rouse her, and she only has 1hr naps if that in care. The days at home I find she plays catch up and can have two 2hr+ naps at home and sleep in til nearly nearly 8am nowadays. Sometimes I wonder too how much sleep is too much sleep, but then I remember that when she's awake she is full on and running in top gear all the time and that must be exhausting. It is for me anyways!

I don't really have any advice, other than to echo that if you do feel somethings up, maybe seek out some outside opinions. But even moreso, it is the wonky line of normal isn't it, and he sounds right on track :)

Ignore what other kids are doing. Ignore the guidelines and opinions on normal. I have yet to ,meet a 'normal' kid - they just aren't designed to develop that way.

thanks, ladies ... I'm trying not too worry too much ...

My mum did family day care so has seen lots of kids in her time. Quietly (ie: she didn't tell me at the time) she was very worried about my DS1.

He didn't crawl much but "knee walked" til he was 15 months old. He didn't copy facial expressions, ever. Didn't make noises in response to you, or clap, wave, do the block tower thing. Didn't like being cuddled to sleep. Wouldn't "bite" food or even feed himself. Ate books.

He's turning 5 next week. He is the most vivacious chatterbox you've ever met. Not even remotely "unwell" or developmentally challenged. He's a pretty strange kid in some ways (he often sits on people's laps at the shops and has a vivid imagination) but his kinder teacher says he is very ready for school next year and should cope well.

Don't worry. It's only now I have Rose that I see what a "normal" baby milestone is. She's textbook, DS1 was not.

ETA: Is your 30th on June 11th? That is my DS1's fifth birthday :)

thanks, rory!

and yes, 30 on the 11th ... not long now!

Nutter you've just described Logan to a tee!!!!! :)

Sleeping at night - he'll generally go to bed around 6:45pm, on days we have nothing on I've gone in at 9:30am to wake him, I figure that's long enough and by then I have things to do and usually his brother is driving me crazy about getting him up so they can 'play'.
Day sleeps - same again, but we only get 1 sleep a day (have done since he was 7mts old), this can vary from 40mins to 3 hours as well.

Fontanelle - I have no idea about this one, sorry! Maybe check with your gp or your chn?

Learning - we have the same letterbox and yes, the 'letters' make the best teethers ever! All the parcel is good for is chucking across the room then chasing after it! Lots of standing and trying to use the letterbox itself as a walker here too! Actually, most toys get used either as a teether or a walker at the moment, including the highchair, dining chairs, recycling box! :)

Towers - why would our kids want to be the ones to build them when clearly it's much more fun to knock them down!?!?! I can't build it fast enough before it gets knocked down, then usually a block will disappear with ds (in his mouth) as he crawls/toddles away!

Sounds like your little man is just perfect and doing exactly what he should be doing! You're doing an awesome job hun! xx

I remember being told by a carer at DS1s childcare centre that she was concerned that he didn't talk. I was also told by his kindergarten teacher that she thought he should repeat as he was "immature".

He is now 16 and excelling in school - talks rather eloquently, is mature, a great leader at his school and cadets, and (I say rather smugly) doing 2 units of specialist mathematics, chemistry and physics for year 11 & 12 and achieving great results.... not bad for an immature kid who didn't talk.

My thoughts: maybe he had nothing to say to you lady and, point me in the direction of a "mature" 4 year old!!!

Baby's and kids work to their own timelines.

Lastly: stop bragging about all that sleeping - I feel absolutely blessed to get 5 straight hours of sleep!!

i have a friend who has a son who sleeps like your son seems to, and he's an amazing little kid. I wouldn't worry. He just sounds like he likes to snooze! He'll drop one one day and you probably will wish he hadn't haha!

As for the fontanelle. They usdually close between 6 and 18 months. Give or take. I was at the other end of the spectrum to you and DS's closed when he was about 4 months so we had to do the whole Paed thing. He is just at the other end of average, and his head is still growing perfectly, so I wouldn't worry too much about that either :)

thanks so much everyone. it's strange what becomes a concern sometimes ... good to be reminded that we're all different :)

Using books as a teether.... Wish Darcie would.... Instead she is yelling at me coz she wants to turn the pages.... Will not let me read them!!

Sleep.... Wow.... Wanna swap!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk so sorry for mistakes!!

These stories of delayed children later excelling are wonderful! My son was developing really well and I wasn't one to worry. In hindsight there were little flags like the ones you've raised. He never waved and did all that baby social communication stuff... and now he has a severe social communication delay/possible autism. I wish I had spent less time leaving him to make up his own milestones and had just taken him to see a professional and have him assessed.

I'm not sure your son has enough 'red flags' at this point to be concerned, but personally I would get an assessment at 18 months if you have ANY doubts still.