Help with weaning - advice wanted

OK, so it's time for DS to wean. He currently has a bf morning and night. There's no real rush, we can take our time with it but DS's bfing days are coming to an end.... Decision made, no discussion will be entered into!

I've done a lot of reading/talking to ABA/lc's on the 'best' way to wean and it seems slow and steady rather than cold turkey- reducing the length of feeds, distraction, offering only one side etc. But DS gets quite agitated and downright upset if I stop the feed early or only offer one side and then I get upset and feel mean and let him go until he's done. Which isn't getting us anywhere! Would it be 'easier' for DS (and let's face it, me too) if I just go cold turkey, maybe offer a cup of milk instead? Should I go out for the first night and let DH deal with it so I'm not there as a reminder of what he can't have iykwim? Then I can express a little for comfort if I need to. Should I drop to 1 feed first or just go cold turkey on both?

Or should I just hold my ground and shorten the length of feeds? If I tried giving a cup of cow's milk first to fill him up, would that help? What would you do/have you done?.... help! ;)

Im by far no breastfeeding expert but I would suggest giving him a cup of milk before a feed to fill him up. That way I would think he wouldnt drink as much from you and you could take a more gradual approach.

Does he feed at regular times? Is there a feed that you could most easily distract him from? Say the morning one is less important to him, for eg, try cutting that one out first. If it doesn't stick every day at first, no worries, but hopefully after a week or so you'll be down to 1, then you can work on the second.
If you usually feed in bed, get up right away. Or else change the morning routine so you're not where you usually are or somethign like that, then add in a distraction of some sort. Or tell him, no milk now, milk is resting or some such.

When I was cutting ds back I found shortening feeds did not work, so I cut them out one by one. It is better to do it gradually if you can.

I wonder about moving the feeds to immediately after breakfast and immediately after dinner.
And then see if they shorten themselves....
good luck.

Thanks for your advice everyone, much appreciated.

We are going to try dropping the morning feed tomorrow, with DH getting DS up, dressed and breakfasted without me around so I'm not a reminder. I hope once he sees food, he'll be happy and forget all about me! Then, next weekend or so, we can work on the evening feed, maybe by replacing it with a half cup of milk (and DH has just started getting DS to help feed the fish at bfing time, telling him it's a special thing that only 'big boys who don't need mummy's milk get to do'!). :crossfingers:

when trying to cut out a feed i would start to time the feed. so count to 20 on each side, then after a few days only count to 15 the 10...but that might work better for older ones as dd would count with me.
sounds like you have a pretty good plan in place. good luck.