A bit scared to start the ttc rollercoaster again
Hi girls,
Background - we have been blessed with 2 awesome kids. Ds1 took a while to conceive, we had 8months of blood tracking and was about to start fertility treatment when we fell. Ds2 took 18months of us trying on our own, 3 x ovulation inductions and 1 x iui. Plus we had a mc in between. He's now 13months old.
Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in March this year, right when we were planning on going back to the fertility specialist. This absolutely turned my world upside down and I said to hubby no more kids, I can't go through all the drugs and hormones while trying to support my mum, dad and sister through this. (his prognosis isn't great, around 12mts tops with chemo which he's doing).
I was fine until a couple of weeks ago, the initial shock with dad has worn off, treatment is now in a routine and I finally have some breathing space and space to take note of what's going on in my head and the bottom line is I want another baby.
Financially we're both employed, I work part-time, hubby works full time but in a low paid job so money would be tight. Our cars are both small so we'd have to upgrade one of them to fit the extra seat across the back, or maybe not, ds1 is 5 1/2 so he might even not need one by then. 2 kids would have to share a room. etc...etc...etc...
I think I'm trying to find every conceivable reason why this isn't a good idea so I can justify it in my head and get that nagging need in my belly for another baby to go away.
Am I nuts? I'm not even sure if this is in the right place, it's about conception maybe more about the lead up rather than actually ttc? Oh, now I'm rambling! Anyone want to come inside my head and sort out the jumbled mess going on in there right now??? :)
