I did it, I told DD about her biological father

I had been putting it off for so long, I got the usual threats from DH "if it goes bad ill hate you for life" etc etc but it went exactly as I imagined, she was mature about it she asked questions, she had a small teary but she was so amazing, she asked if she should tell her sister I said perhaps not until shes a bit older.

She made her own decision not to tell her friends, she called her Dad & told him she loves him and shes glad he wants to be her Dad

Ive raised a very mature little girl

Now I just need some support DH is away! Tell me I did the right thing

Of course you did the right thing :) :hug: the earlier kids know these things the better they adjust - can I ask why you're choosing not to tell her sister?
She does sound like a very mature girl :) well done on raising a sensible one lol.

DD2 wouldnt handle that, not yet.

Im not sure how im meant to feel, I feel kind of numb

How old are they (I'm on Tapatalk so no sigs). And circumstances of Dad not being biological in a nutshell? Just so I can catch up?

Why do you think you feel numb?

DD2 is 6.
DD1 is crying in her bed, she was fine after our talk and before she went to bed, i feel sick I think ive done the wrong thing DH told me if this goes badly he will hate me forever

Go talk to her.

Think how long it took you to work up the courage to tell her - this is a big thing - expect her to take some time to process it.

Shes fallen asleep!

Why did i do this again. Im so numb & i just want to throw up

I don't think you've done the wrong thing at all. Openness and respect are role modelled traits, and when she's bigger she'll be grateful and no doubt reciprocate those traits.

She is just processing in her own time.
I'd be proud of her too.

:hug:

I dont understand my own feelings, I cant imagine what she feels

Can you imagine how much worse it would be if she found out from some other method? As an emotional teenager? Or as an adult? The level of betrayal would be massive.

You've totally done the right thing telling her now. She'll take time and process and just make sure you're there to talk to. Be aware at some point she may show interest in her bio father and that's okay - it is in no way a rejection of her Dad. It's a natural, normal curiosity and part of the processing. Just be honest. Age-appropriate obviously but really really honest. She'll sense if you're hiding details or prevaricating and it'll make her less accepting herself of the facts. Open, present and matter-of-fact is the way to go here.
You'll all be fine - and better for it!!

Big hugs :hug: it's a lot for her to process and I'm sure tears are quite a normal reaction. She'll probably need to talk about it more tomorrow and in the days to come, but your honesty will pay off in the ling run. She sounds like a lovely DD and you a lovely mum :hug:

:hug: you definatly done the right thing. i was about 8 when mum sat me down and told me about my "real dad" and "step dad" im glad she did then as i was able to get over it quickly and not hold anything against either of them, if i was told later on, it would have changed how i viewed everything.
you did do the right thing, might not feel like it now, but in time it will.

Amaunet took the words right out of my mouth :hug: You've done the right thing hun.

You have done the right thing hun :hug:
Your DD sounds very mature but it will still take some time to process it all...it is a big thing.
:hug:

You did the right thing xox you made the choice and you know deep down in your heart it is the right one, she had a right to know... (I didn't catch her age, how old is she?) tears are too be expected, these are not bad tears, showing emotion is not a bad thing. When she wakes up in the morning give her the biggest cuddle and just keep being open and honest with her.
xoxox a huge hugs to you and to her xoxox

I feel like this will affect my marriage

shes 9 in oct

Hun,
As much as you DH is doing an awesome job in raising her and bringing her up as his own (kudos to him for that) this really was a decision that had to be told xoxox Stay strong. It might be worth while getting your DD (& you and DH) to go see a counsellor all sort through your emotions with a trained professional, they really are valuable. xox