Gifted children . Any parents on here with gifted kids ? DD is gifted, advice needed

so my DD who will be 3 in august , is gifted . i had an appt today with the pead and he went over a few things and came up with Gifted . now its no surpise to me and im just gald to hear it from a professional . but what do i do now ?? who can i go to /talk to . we have a bit of info on it and a referral to a child psycologist to help us . also we got some advice on schools aswell . pead said at 4 he can test her , but pulled up a scale of IQ and rattled off info , which makes perfect sense now . its great to know DD is gifted ... but im also very scared/confused about what is ahead .

I would love to hear from parents on here who have gifted kids ... i need to relate to someone as i dont know anyone in our situation .

My boy is gifted but is of the Asperger species too.
It is a challenge. BUt they can be fun too. You are in complete amazement when they tell you stuff which you had no idea about.
He sometimes tells me off for not knowing stuff. He can be a bit condescending too.
He skipped a year at school. They need challenges all the time.
If you need any info let me know.
xxoo

I think my son is gifted... :) He is learning to read....

What sort of tests did the paed do?

Yep, my DS is gifted. I'm reasonably new to it as well, in that we've only just had the test "confirming" it. But I guess always knew he was different. I'm currently trying to find out more about what there is in Oz as far as this goes, especially for preschoolers, so I can't help you much with local knowledge.
Here in NZ we go to a group for gifted preschoolers which has been awesome, it gives them interesting topics to learn and explore in depth that they wouldn't get elsewhere. He goes to a regular preschool but it doesn't quite click for him and he is always saying he's bored there (they don't recognise where he is at mentally at all).
He is very different to parent compared to most of our friends kids. Like you say, it's nice if you can find people to relate to! There are Oz parent forums but I haven't worked out yet which ones might be good, they don't seem to be that active. When you see the psychologist they will give you extra advice and contacts probably

what kinds of things do your gifted children do? interesting. :-)

I assume you mean intellectually gifted? There are different domains/ areas of giftedness. For some reading/info try looking for your state association (I can't see where you're from) Links to Associations

GERRIC at the University of NSW also run programs for parents

Yes we found out 3 days before Christmas last year that Lachlan was gifted. We got referred to a child psychologist as well, who can do further testing and help us cope but it is so expensive. We simply can't afford it. We were looking at over $2000 for 12 sessions, which is how many the paed said we'd need, plus there are none in our area we'd have to go to the city which is over an hour round trip all the time. The paed also recommended him being moved up to grade 3, but with his older brother in Grade 3 it just wouldn't work for us.

I spoke to his school and they generally haven't been that helpful, but I know his teacher was given a survey to fill out about him. He is in a composite 2/3 class where he is a grade 2, so that helps cause it is easy for his teacher to give him harder work. Every year now I will put in a request for him to be in a composition class with him being in the younger grade. I know with his reading, he is the 3rd highest when it comes to levels, well last time I looked he was. Like I said half of his class are grade 3, so he is surpassing all of them as well.

It has it's frustrating side, cause he is bored a lot at home so acts out on that but doesn't really have the patience level yet to sit and do something for more than 5 mins at a time, unless it is on the computer.

THANKS ! for your replys ladies :)

Mumtoramone: there was no formal test , more like a quiz , i think it was more his own quiz to guide him to a decison on if they are gifted or not , and most of the questions i was asked . I went in there to talk about her behavior as i feel there is a sensory issue going on .sensory isssuess and giftedness can go hand in hand . so the child psycologist is the best person to talk to , here in QLD we have free health centres that you can see all types of professionals ( counsellers , psycs, dieticians etc) for free but the wait list is massive .so i will be going private . your boy and my dd are about the same age . so look out lol .

Kiwi mummy - im new to it my head is spinning , schooling is the thing that scares me , i was never intrested in school . i did ok but im very creative and i dont think the schools i went to really acknowledged it , i think DD is so much like me only magnified, like a supercharged version of me . so i worry . i hope to find some support groups . but i fear it will be a " my kids so much smarter" kinda thing .

TD : i know they can be fun indeed , she tells me jokes and its sooo cute , the latest is " what kind of hair does the ocean have ? " ..... " WAVY hair " lol tooo cute .

Hollo : gifted kids do LOTS of things lol . mostly talking and reading and thier abilittes to do simple activities come sooner than other babies . for example my DD can memorise songs so well and sing them when they are not on , ( think a 2 yr old singing the bruno mars lazy song lol" and also she is so advanced in her vocab , she can talk just as fluent as my 5 year old . toilet training came easy to her aswell. what astounds me is her knowledge and understanding of conversation . often who , what , where , when and why are in every conversation . and a simple answer to a question is not good enough for them . its exhausting explaining things all day lol .

amanuet: yes , intellectually gifted . no special talents yet . my dad has a high IQ so im keen to see this psyc to see if it runs in the fam.

astro: i have a great school that i want to send the kids to which is a public school, now im not sure , i ve heard that gifted kids arent really looked after at state schools, i checked out a school thats private and has a gifted kids program , i can afford one to go there but not both . and i know the testing is exxy . and we dont really have the money either ... im secretly hoping she gets a scholarship lol .. in my dreams !!

good to know there are voices out there i can ask for help . thanks ladies :))

Lachlan picks up things really quickly as well. We started toilet training him the day he turned 3. The day after he was both day and night trained. We were waiting for relapse, but it never came.

I was "gifted" at school and put in a special GAT ( Gifted and talented class ) at about 8.... onwards...

I used to make jokes that DS would be special too.... but I have noticed so much recently especially.

he started to TT at 16 mths old
Can do ages 3 plus puzzles by himself ( 30 or more pieces) and quickly too like his mind knows where they go
He reads basic books ( dont know if its from memory or how he does this, although he sounds out the words I dont know ? )
He can count to 30
and from 20 backwards
say the whole alphabet
sings about 5 nursery rhymes word for word and he only learnt them recently... all at the same time

He responds to some things in indonesian ( we have been twice since he has been born )

and heaps more... You only really notice how clever they are when they are around older kids but are more switched on .... since ds goes to preschool nnow one day a week I have noticed he acts like a 3-4 yr old.... all his peers are still having trouble talking whilst DS tells stories all day and tells everyone what he did all week....

I was selected as a gifted and talented child also, was reading by 3 years, could write competently before starting kindy and then when I was in year 9 was pushed as a gifted child. I hated it! I was often taken out of class to do more advanced classes one on one, my mum pushed me with heaps of extra curricular activities etc. I rebelled against it, I just wanted to be a normal kid. I have never pursued anything much because I was so over being pushed!

I hope you find a fantastic school that will complement and encourage your child :)

**no offence to anyone**

I had a similar thread may be early last year, and i was all about academics, getting him into the best schools, taking him to extracurricular science classes etc.. and the Onyx commented that the he as a whole needed to be nurtured, socially and academically. I thought "blah, blah, blah". He had no friends at school, none of his school friends came to his birthdays etc.. He would cry when he got his report card if there were any Bs. It was eating us up alive. I was raising a bright hermit. He now goes to a public school and yes, i care about his grades, but i am more concerned about his socialising skills, which he has gained so much of this year, that he has had 10 kids turn up to his 9th birthday. What is so special about raising a possible rocket scientist, when he may be all alone when he is 35?
Yes, they may read at the age of 3, or know the alphabet at 2, but let them be kids too.

Well said TD. Its important that you dont concentrate on one particular aspect of their learning....

I have no intentions of doing anything other than encouraging my little boy....
In time Im sure others will notice but its not Who he is , just a part... IYKWIM :)

My little man still loves to play in the dirt and sandpit too ,I just wish he would stay small forever ...lol

FWIW, I was a "gifted" child, according to my mother and some of my teachers (according to my mother they thought I was highly gifted, but that's her words). Reading at age 2, multiplication age 5, writing fully punctuated stories age 7. (OK, so an over-fondness of the semicolon now I read them back; that never died down!)

All my mother did was tell me to be more like my social butterfly sister. I now have social skills, however I generally hate socialising as it was forced upon me then I was told how crap I am at it. I went into teaching partly so I could talk about what interests me and not be told I was dull and uninteresting for it. I also don't want my mother in my life very much. I was never pushed academically - if anything I was pulled back, as I was denied private school (after passing the exam to get in) and was never academically encouraged. I bombed out of school, hating every minute of the lack of social graces I had and also being told at home I was dull, stupid, lazy.

This from a girl who at 14 taught herself about quantum physics and Schroedinger's paradox. From the girl who taught herself to read music and play the piano age 6 (I wasn't much good at the piano age 6, mind, but I was determined to learn!). OK quantum physics is pointless for your school exams when it wasn't taught at that point lower than university level, but I still read up about it and had a good grasp of it. And I got to go to CERN a couple of years back - one childhood dream achieved! (I don't think I'll achieve the dream I had when I was nine, which was becoming a polyglot: that year I tried to learn French and Greek from books and couldn't quite manage it, although I do still try to learn more languages.)

My point is - by all means see your child as a child, as a whole, and treat them as a child. But intellectually - push them. Encourage them. And when you have to teach life skills other children can grasp inately, such as socialising - don't ever tell them they are stupid and slow for not being able to do this of their own accord. Everyone is gifted in some ways and slow in others - gifted academically doesn't mean success in everything else. Just as you'd encourage a gifted athlete and help them with academic work without the put-downs.

My son is bright, but not academically gifted. He'll do well, but it won't be easy for him. He is, however, very gifted socially. Good for him. That's not the same as me and I can't keep up with his social life, but he's enjoying it. That's all I want for him. And I do not plan on berating him for learning his letters age 4 rather than age 1 like his Mamma. (FWIW, I know many people who didn't learn letters until they went to school - we read the same books now. Gifted is great, but at some point it levels out a bit and it's good if there are some coping skills learnt too.)

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Kiwi mummy - im new to it my head is spinning , schooling is the thing that scares me , i was never intrested in school . i did ok but im very creative and i dont think the schools i went to really acknowledged it , i think DD is so much like me only magnified, like a supercharged version of me . so i worry . i hope to find some support groups . but i fear it will be a " my kids so much smarter" kinda thing .

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The group we go to isn't like that at all (thankfully). It's not about the academics, it's being able to chat to other parents without worrying that you sound like you're bragging and people who understand what it's like to have your ear talked off all day, or a child who's super intense or cannot sit still or whatever.
If you try to discuss the same issues elsewhere people aren't very accepting, but it's a fact these kids learn differently and behave differently.

Where in QLD are you?

ugh .lost my post !
Butter - thanks for your input great post and has given me lots to think about . :) im alot like my dd where i can not relate to people my own age . i try but it doesnt come naturally all my friends are at least 5-10 years older and i feel like i fit in better . i was chastised for this when i was younger . mum couldnt understand why i had no friends in my grade and took me haning out with older kids as rebellion , and made me suffer for it . and like you i was told off about my social skills , and now as an adult im unsure how to act , so i just stay quiet and speak when im spoken to , sad really as inside im quite bubbly .

kiwi , no one i know really understands us . gabbi is a kid who is on the move all the time , people think shes so cute and funny and joke about keeping her and taking her home with them , me and DH joke back and say , take her please . we need a break lol ...
but they only she her for a little bit , when its 24/7 of go go go its a different story , and yes i find if i bring it up , people dont really accept it , either they think im lying or cant control my kids ... I just want someone with kids my age to relate to , alot of people i talk to are older and have gifted grandkids who are 16 or 17 lol not much help when my kid is only 2 .
we are in ipswich QLD .

I was reading through this thread and very happy to see social skills come up. I was somewhat gifted - my IQ was not off the scale but well above average. However everyone at school knew I was "smarter" and I therefore dumbed myself down because I thought I would be more accepted socially at school. Didn't really work LOL! But I have a lot of regrets, I wish I had really applied myself to see what I could have done.

I actually think it would be important to concentrate on them being well rounded. If they are gifted intellectually, also encourage physical activities, something that doesn't come quite so easily to them. And to concentrate on their friendships. If they really are super-smart, they will need to know how to interact with "normal" children without getting impatient with them. It can be just as isolating being highly intellectual as being intellectually impaired.

And just because someone is gifted it doesn't mean they will actually be a high achiever or wildly successful. Because things come so easily to them it can be hard for them to learn to apply themselves consistently and persevere to achieve long term goals. That's possibly something they could learn by "other" activities, where they are "normal" and need to put in the same amount of practice as "normal" people.

Hope this makes sense, desperately typing while keeping DD2 away from the keyboard.

I want to start this by saying I am not 'gifted' but DP is and he has been formally IQ tested. In terms of his life experiences, I want to agree with what previous posters have said about not learning to persevere with a task because so many things come easily he never had to learn to work at things, especially school related. Obviously he has done this to some extent to gain his quals etc but now, if something doesn't interest him, he finds it extraordinarily difficulty to stick at it or get motivated. He is not great at concentrating for long periods, especially if he is even slightly disinterested and so he does procrastinate a lot. I think this is due to him having twice as many trains of thought to keep track of than the average person but it's also about the interaction of ability and personality style too.

He is good at pretty much everything he tries and he does have good social skills so he is usually able to get along with most people and hide his frustration with people when they don't know how to do things, even after he explains it LOL! He has told me that he constantly has to remember that maybe other people don't know what he does and therefore they're coming at a task or situation with less knowledge (and so in his opinion choosing poorer solutions).

We get lots of comments about DS (who is 27 months old) in relation to being bright/verbal/smart/good memory etc from friends, strangers, GPs, neighbours, childcare workers and so on. I find it hard to know how to respond to these comments because I only have one child. To me, all 2 year olds look bright and inquisitive and eager to learn and I don't spend enough time with kids other than DS. I am kind of hoping that DS is 'bright-normal' because the gifted road can be a tough one and lots of gifted people do not reach their full potential and feel socially ostracised.

I guess though all of that stuff relates to 'adult' or even 'older child' issues and right now you just need to focus on coping with the (nearly) 3 year old you have. I think the association links earlier in the thread sound great and I was going to suggest you contact Mensa in your state to see if they have a parents group. They do accept child members with appropriate testing evidence etc so they may have a parents group you can tap into.

I am interested in what the paed is talking about when he/she says they can test your DD when she is 4? In terms of IQ testing, this can be done (at the absolute earliest) at 2.5 years and it would be a psychologist who conducts that assessment, not the paed. Paeds do other observational assessments across the developmental milestones which is also important information because (as I'm sure you know), intelligence is not just about accademic success and an IQ test will tell you a child's potential to achieve in accademic settings only. The older the child after 2.5years, the more reliable the score will be, especially if you are expecting a score at either end of the spectrum.

I don't know if this post is helpful or not because I feel like I've just been rambling lol. I guess you need to continue to focus on your DD as an individual. She still has weaknesses as well as strengths and there is still a lot of development ahead - both cognitively, behaviourally, personality wise and socially. I do hope you can find a supportive network of other parents who you can identify with and share experiences. I will be interested to hear how you go. In terms of your DD being on the go, there is a great facebook page I found recently called play at home mum (could be spelt mom) with awesome play and developmental ideas (plus notes and photos on how to do some of that stuff yourself) which might stretch your DD.

ETA - forgot to mention the psych can also do an adaptive behaviour assessment which will look at your DD across the various developmental milestones so you could get this information a bit quicker than 4 y.o. One of the more common ones is called the Vineland Adaptive Behaviour Scale.