4th Birthday Party - Who To Invite - Quite Panicked!!!

OK, let me put on the disclaimer. I really don't like the whole hoo-ha about kids birthday parties these days and so far we've gotten away with not really doing parties for DD1, just little gatherings. But she's been going on and on about a party that I'm really going to have to organise something a bit more special this year.

So here's the thing. Buggered if I know who to invite.

We moved here reasonably recently. I doubt our old Melbourne friends would make the trip as it's a bit of a drive. The only kids that DD knows are the ones at childcare and we don't know their parents from a bar of soap.

Also, if I was to invite them, should I invite everyone from her room to make sure no-one's nose is out of joint or should I just ask her who she wants to invite and then risk having only two or three turn up.

And no, she has no cousins her own age.

Where are you??
I would invite her childcare friends, it maybe a great way to get to know the mothers of the kids your dd hangs with..
Also maybe invite your old friends too, you never know the sound of a catch might be appealing enough to make the trip for your dd's special day


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I too am not a big fan of kids birthday parties and so far for my 2 boys have only done their 1st (which was stressful enough). But i was actually thinking (and feeling a little guilty as alot of my friends kids have always had parties) of letting DS1 having a small party for his 4th birthday next year. Although i know your situation is a little different as your still new to your area- but i was thinking i would invite my close friends children and a handful from childcare- just his main friends. DS1 was invited to a 3rd birthday party from a childcare girl the other week- i had really only said brief hello's to the mum (didn't even know mum's name til the invite). The party just had a handful of childcare friends- all the ones i have noticed do tend to play together. I was also thinking i might do it at a play centre- cause i want it to be about the children and if i did something at home i'd feel obligated to invite more friends and family- which gets to big and stressful.

I go by the only invite as many children as the child is turning rule! That's what we have done. Other wise it's too overwhelming for both you and your DD! So aske her to name 4 friends, and they are the only people you invite. Unless you invite some of your own friends too, and they have children! For my DD's 4th bday, I had 4 friends from childcare, as well as 3 adult friends for me, lol! They brought their children, so it turned out there were about 9 kids all up. They had a blast and I wasn't overwhelmed trying to control and entertain them all.

DD1 turned four this year also. We invited all the girls from her kindy class (so 10 others all up and only 8 came). I couldn't do the whole class ... way too many kids. Inviting all the girls (or all the boys if you have boys) means there is a good way to divide them up and not leave anyone out unless you go really small and most kids don't get invited which also works well. I think the big issues come when most of the kids get invited and only a handful get left out. Then it's just cruel but if she only invites a couple of kids that she plays with regularly or all the girls, it is easier to explain and it is not really leaving anyone out.

We didn't know the parents either but I wrote on the bottom of the invitation that we would like them to stay for the party just to let us know when they RSVPed as well as if any siblings would be attending also. Only 1 sibling turned up that wasn't a toddler or baby so it wasn't overrun. There is no way that I wanted to be looking after other people's kids when I hardly knew them but it is a risk because you really don't know how many extras you might get if they bring siblings too. One of my friends had a party and didn't think about siblings - invited 10 kids and ended up with over 20 kids. Turned out to be a bit of a nightmare. But I think if you don't specify on the invitations what you expect, everybody has different ideas about bringing siblings. Something to be aware of anyway ...

DD's party was a great way to get to know the parents of DD's friends and now when I go into take her to kindy, we are all very chatty. It's great!

Hi Fiona

yep I would invite a handful of the childcare friends and don't worry that you don't know the parents, I had DD's childcare friends for her 4th and I didn't know the parents. It will be a great icebreaker, and could lead to playdates for your little one and good friends for you. See if your Melb friends want to come, you never know and rather ask than not, they could decide it will be a great excuse to come and see you guys. Also, vice versa, DD has been asked to parties that I havn't met the parents to before as well - I guess you have to start somewhere with 'getting to know people'.

It will all work out in the end and your DD will have a ball!!