Gentle parenting beyong the baby years....

Im struggling with things at the moment. Gentle parenting a baby i found easier than i am finding gentle parenting my almost three year old. demand feeding, co-sleeping, no cry it out etc etc. Even as a young toddler, allowing her the freedom to explore her world and fulfill her desire to tear the house apart in a quest for discovery. But now she is three...and a confident, self assured, determined three at that(which is great)...but im finding things hard!

She actually has tantrums like a teenager....flies off in a fit of anger, runs to her room yelling, SLAMS THE DOOR, and flops on the floor sobbing ''this is impossible, your not fair'' i have no idea where she has got this from, it certainly isnt behaviour that she has seen here! (doesnt go to day care either).
I want to continue gently guiding her into her childhood.....and teen years....but im not really sure how, or what that even means anymore.

Gentle parenting doesn't mean no boundaries and no consequences. I am sure you know that already, but it doesn't appear that your daughter does.

I gentle parent my 4.5yo and he thrives on it. If he tantrums I just remind him I can't understand him when he speaks like that. If he's really upset I sympathise, but can't help until he asks so I can understand. I cannot understand impolite sentences, so I do select what I can and cannot understand. Slamming doors would result in having to come back and practice closing doors properly, for example.

I talk to my son as if he were capable of understanding things - and he usually rises to the challenge. We talk about what behaviour we enjoy and what we don't. I make a big fuss of him when he behaves in the mutually agreed way - and sympathise when someone else is "naughty" on his scale of things. I also ask him if his rules are fair: if snatching is fair, is it OK for me to snatch off Liebling? No? OK, snatching isn't fair at all then.

For a pre-school boy, he is amazingly empathic, sensitive, kind and loving. He isn't perfect, but he knows if he's doing wrong and is confident enough to tell me off when I do things wrong.

thanks. i think i need to get down to her level again and listen more. dd2 is three months now and i feel that things have really gone to the dogs since she arrived....like dd1 and i have drifted apart in realation to what is expect and what is acceptable.