Unsettled toddler - part vent, part advice

DD is 2 and 3 months, the last few nights have been nightmarish. She just doesn't want to settle. She'll go to bed easy enough, goes to sleep but keeps getting up. Last night she woke at midnight, and didn't go back to sleep until after 2. She just lies in her bed and gives this whingy wail that isn't quite a cry, more a little squeal. Didn't matter if we sat with her or left the room.

Tonight she went to bed at 7.30. She got up at 9, I took her back to bed and sat with her for a minute and she went back to sleep. She just got up again, DH has taken her back to bed and she's wailing again.

We've finally gotten her out of our bed, and her pattern is normally to go to bed between 7 and 8, wakes at around 10.30, we give her a hug and take her back to bed, then she's been sleeping through until 7am. I can see she wants to come into bed with us, but there's no middle road. If she gets into bed with us, DH and I don't sleep (she's an impossible wriggler) and she'll do it every night. Breaking that habit has taken months of us sleeping in her room for the whole night, down to some of the night, then just going in until she falls asleep again. I don't want to undo it all. She won't take water or milk - last night she said she wanted water and then went crazy when I tried to give her some.

Ahhhhhhhhhh! I just want her to sleep! This whingy whiney thing she's doing is driving us batty. It sounds like the noise a cat would make if you pulled its tail.

So is it another phase? Or does anyone have any tips at all?

:hug: This sounds exactly like my DD at the moment! She has always been a good sleeper but for the last few weeks she's been waking up crying/whinging and nothing we can do settles her. Half the time when I go in she looks like she's still asleep but then just randomly cries :wall:

Sorry no advice, just sharing your pain. Hope it passes soon.

Two year old molars?

Seriously I don't know, because dd just climbed into bed with us. I love cosleeping but four in a queen bed is sooooo squishy.

I hope you get some sleep soon!

Two year molars was my first guess?

Night terrors is my second? DS1 had night terrors and would cry through the night for about six months after his second birthday. It took a few months for us to realise that going into him was actually waking him up and while the noises he was making sounded pretty awful, he was asleep.

Possibly sick?

It sucks when they don't settle and keep waking all night long. I hope it all sorts itself out quickly for you.

mumcnkin_mumma - :hug: Not fun hey!

Arcadia - I love cosleeping too. I love having her close and snuggly. Reality is for us is that DH and I both have shocking backs and can't handle the feet that end up wedged into painful spots! I've got a queen bed too. I thought about her molars, two are through already, but this has only just started. Thanks for the reply :)

Snap JM! - She's usually sitting up when we go into her, otherwise, she walks out to us and says hello. It's pretty cute TBH! We've battled colds for a bit but they're gone now, she has an infection on her face, but that's being treated and isn't bothering her during the day, but not sure if that's it for night. Thanks hun.

I just re-read your post and actually, it sounds like she is sleeping through one sleep cycle and then during the REM phase, waking herself up instead of resettling. Everyone goes into sleep cycles anywhere from 20-80 mins long. The beginning and end of that sleep cycle is very light sleep but it sounds like she is waking herself up in that phase of sleep instead of just resettling herself.

Unfortunately, I don't have any solutions but I remember reading about it when DD1 was a baby. Thought it might help to identify the problem though :)

You know what? That makes sense. I just read out your reply to DH and he agreed. She'll wake up about 3-4 hours after she's gone to bed, every night. So now the challenge is to get her to not wake up.

Wonder if I can teach myself how to stay asleep too :P I wake up often.

DS has trouble resettling between sleep cycles if he's getting sick. It's usually my first sign before any other symptoms arise.

Ugh Helle, please let it NOT be a cold :)

Has she ever slept consistently through sleep cycles though? If she has been waking often through the night for a long time, it might be more an issue with not knowing how to resettle herself instead she gets to the stage of sleep and jolts herself into awakeness. If it is something that has only started more recently (and not just become worse more recently) then it is probably more to do with environmental factors like sleep, illness, noise or being in a different sleeping environment.

My kids wake during their sleep cycles too when they are sick but since they are bit older, they can tell me it is because their throats hurt or their noses are blocked so being uncomfortable wakes them up. They also do it when they teeth because that is when I think they notice the pain. Teeth move around when you are sleeping and your muscles relax which is why babies and toddlers usually cut their teeth through the night. I think when they are in a deep sleep, the pain isn't as noticable but as soon as they move into REM sleep, they wake up from the pain.

Otherwise it could be to do with her sleeping environment in general. If she is not used to waking up in her own room, or she is in a new room or there is a new noise (even a dog barking, reverse cycle airconditioner for heating? anything). Also if she is too hot or too cold ... all those things could be causing her to wake in that REM stage instead of resettling.

Do you have a night light in her room? I found a night light actually helped my kids sleeping issues a bit. Also leaving the door open. Once they got to two, they didn't like being in a dark room with the door closed anymore and would wake up distressed. So that is something else to consider.

I am just throwing possibilities out there. It could be any of these things or none of them, but they are worth assessing just in case it is environmental :)

She's always had the pattern of waking up at around the same time, but never with this wailing cry that's happening now. All that used to happen is that she'd come into bed with us. I know that this is what she wants, but it's been a couple of months now since we've been working on her sleeping in her own room.

She has always had the same room and has been sleeping in there since she was seven months old. She has a night light and we don't close the door. I've actually thought about closing the door to see if it makes any difference at all, but I hate the idea so haven't done it....yet ;)

Maybe it is just as simple as her teeth. MummyNaomi came up with the suggestion of going into her just before the usual time she wakes, to try and sooth her through the waking period so we're going to give that a go too. Is it worth giving her panadol before she goes to bed as a soothing measure? I've never done that before and not sure that it's the way to go either.

ETA - I went to bed at about 11 last night, she woke up at 2 and I went into her and she was sitting up, perfectly straight, hugging her doll and whimpering. I gave her a hug and coaxed her back under the blanket. Took me over half an hour before she rolled over and started to doze again.