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DS, who is 8 months next week, has started to scratch and pinch my face whilst feeding. It really hurts me but he just laughs at my reactions.
Does anyone have any tips to try and stop it? I keep pulling his arm away and holding it down but that irritates him too much.
Maybe say no & take him off. Give it a few minutes before you allow him to have it back?
I would have to say maybe to stop reacting the way you are when he hurts you. He probably likes seeing the different expressions.
Harlee used to do this too, its just a phase, Harlee now pulls her own hair and strokes my neck when she feeds.
You can try giving him something that he can play with- a necklace or toy or your fingers - when you feed.
You don't have to put up with being hurt, it's ok to set up boundaries/rules for breastfeeding. It might take bub a little while to understand, but i take my DD's hand away and say 'don't hurt Mum'. i might try to distract her by playing with her fingers or making funny faces. If it doesn't work, and she keeps trying to hurt me, then i will take her off and sit her up. I might change sides or just give her a little while in a different position before feeding again. My LO is older and if she is really bugging me, i will put her on the ground for a little while.
Hey eza,
Miss P was doing the same thing for a few weeks and it drove me nuts. I ended up with little scratches all over my face where she dug her nails in. So, my first piece of advice is to make sure you trim his nails and remove any sharp corners! Like your DS, Miss P thought it was funny when I cried out and became frustrated if I restrained her arm. She also likes to play in my mouth and yank on my lips, drives me nuts!!
Every time she was rough with me I took her hand and said 'no, touch mummy gently' as I moved her hand gently on the top of my breast while she was feeding. A couple of times I had to take her off the boob and put her down as she was really hurting me and wouldn't stop. I'm not sure that she understood the connection, but it prevented me from losing patience!
Eventually Miss P got the idea and she now gently rubs the top of my boob while she feeds. It's lovely and it feels like she is caressing me rather than trying to beat me up! She occasionally plays with my necklace and that's ok as long as she is gentle, otherwise I take it out of her hand, rub my chest gently with her hand and show her what I want her to do.
I'm sorry I don't have any quick fix, perhaps someone else will have a better suggestion, but I reckon if you keep modeling the right behaviour and stopping the behaviour you don't want DS will eventually get it! In the meantime, how about you wear a balaclava during feeds? Or one of those leather gimp masks would do the job...
I found that rather than reacting to it, if I took DS's hand when he did (and even now when he does) something like this and used it stroke my face and say 'gentle touches' and smile etc that he would start stroking gently and gets the idea that this form of touch is better. Not sure if I've explained it clearly, hopefully you get me idea.
Nice look!:
I agree with giving something else for distraction, DD2 would always play with my necklace but has certainly gone through stages where scratching at my face or neck seemed 'fun'.
I also found a short sharp NO was enough to kind of startle her into stopping.
Haha! I'm not sure he would want to feed from me ever again if I wore either of them!!:
I just tried the sharp NO! and he started screaming!! Then I felt really sad :( He didn't do it for a while, then started again. I kept moving his hand to stroke my chest and say "gentle"
I hope he gets the hint soon. I also stopped the reactions.
I find it really hard to clip his nails, I try to do while he is asleep but he wakes up, otherwise he keeps grabbing the clippers.
I'm very gentle with DD when she scratches or hits me when she's feeding. She's gotten the message and now strokes and pats me, giggling.
She used to pinch and punch and I'd hold her hand gently and say "that hurts mummy, please don't do that" and show her how to pat and stroke. It didn't take long for her to understand and we don't (generally) have a problem any more.
I put a pair of mittens on my daughter when she feeds. Otherwise she grabs a handful of my breast and digs her nails in. She is only 9 weeks old so removing her from the breast doesn't work, and as she does it with her lower hand, it's a bit hard to move her hand away. So cover the weapon I say, not the target.
Ouch! DD's the same. She loves clawing my face. I trim her nails every week (or more) and it stil bloody hurts. (she's much more compliant about the trimming than DS was!)
At that age Eza, I would agree that a gentle, firm approach is best - removal & distraction. It will take time, but he'll 'get' it eventually.