Sleep help desperately need before new baby arrives

DD is a nightmare. She is waking up at least 3-4 times every night. I have to sit on her bed to resettle her and I am having massive troubles escaping once she is asleep - she springs up and starts screaming. I can usually get away the first couple of resettles, but after 3am there is no chance. DH is willing to co-sleep with her but she doesn't want him and she screams hysterically. What she wants is for me to stay with her but that is not going to work in the long run because I am going to be busy with night feeds with the new baby in about 6 weeks.

Because she won't resettle, DH has been getting up with her to start the day at 3.30/4am. Then she is a grizzly disaster all day that I have to deal with.

I am at a complete loss for what to do. As a last resort I tried controlled crying, which worked brilliantly - after one hour of putting her back to bed and walking out every 3 minutes we got a whole week where we could just put her in bed and walk out at resettles. Then DS had a massive night tantrum and she got woken up every 10 minutes and wouldn't resettle. We tried the controlled crying again but it was a massive fail second time round and now she just screams as soon as she thinks we are going to leave the room. As a last last resort I have given her Phenergan, which makes the first few resettles easier but I still can't escape after 3am.

I have no idea what to do with her. I want to just give her away and start fresh with the new baby! I cannot be waking to her several times every night and dealing with a newborn, I can't have her getting up at 3am and being a grumpy brat all day.

I just want some sleep!

I feel your pain! My 3 year old twins still give me dramas! My only advice is it will sort itself out one way or another. When ds3 was born. If I was feeding and one of the twins would wake I would just let them lay or sit with me till I was done. Then deal with them after. Good luck!

DD1 who was a fantastic sleeper started doing this when I was about a month off having DD2. She only wanted me and whenever DH went in she just cried more. She does not sleeping in our bed so most nights I would give up and we would sleep in the loungeroom. I was willing to do anything to get some sleep. She also usually loved Daycare but at this time she hated to go and would cry so much when I dropped her off. Thankfully I put it down to her knowing something was about to change and when I finally had DD2 she went straight back to her fantastic sleeping and loving DC again.

Hopefully this is a possibility for your DD and that it will be over soon. Sorry I don't have any actual advice though.

Oh crap! That can be a really difficult age for sleeping and seperation anxiety. DS was exactly like that and I'm sure I've read lots of posts from other mums in the same situation. I can totally understand how stressed out you must be with a baby almost on the scene though :hug:
I'm sorry I don't have any real advice - DS just gradually grew out of it.

not that i have any idea with this but could you set up a little bed next to you for her?

I am going through the same here, my DD2 is a similar age to yours. It started for me a few months ago, it has got better and some nights we can get through with only one waking at about 4am others are horrible waking every hour or so. I have no answer though, I am a little concerned myself about how things will turn out when DD3 arrives (in 5 weeks!) I am just hoping things fall into place.

:hug::hug::hug:

Hugs Arte....
I dont have any advice - I reckon I have given any advice i had a while back, its really tough isnt it...
I did find when J ws born that if N also woke I could get him to lie there until i could deal w him - and the newbown settles were easier than the toddler ones.
Perhaps W is old enough to understand when bub comes he has to stop tantruming? (that kind of discussion works ok with N) - you could use the new baby arrival as an end point for that behaviour.. then maybe A can settle more (like it sounds like she was a few wks back)
A bed in her room?
Only letting DH go in, after a while she may accept if that is the only option

Do you have a plan to stop using the phenergan (or does your doc have an opinion on that?? - does she suffer allergies that are keeping her up??)

:hug:
have both kids had a medical check over??
DD had major ear issues which = lots of night waking. she had constant glue ear and the pain kept waking her.

things got better after grommets but i did use Dr Jay Gordans method, google him, its mainly for night feeding/co sleeping but i changed it to suit me, it did work

Thanks for the replies.

MP, when W wakes at night there are only two options - caving to whatever he wants (someone to sit in there with him atm) or a 1-2 hour tantrum. There is no reasoning- no bribes, no threats work. Very frustrating. I had him going really well a few weeks ago when he would come in to my room for a kiss and cuddle then put himself back to bed. But that stopped happening for whatever reason so we have decided to give in and sit with him again :(
A only has the phenergan when we are desperate, like after she has had a couple of nights of 5 or 6 hard to resettle screaming nights and everyone needs some sleep. I hate to do it and it isn't ideal but I am going to lose it if I don't get at least a few hours of sleep.
Have tried DH doing all the resettles, but he actually has to physically hold her down while she screams hysterically for me and she can go for close to an hour (and wakes DS, who then has his own tantrum!!).

DaintreeDream, it's you and me both hoping for some magic fix in the very near future! Good luck xx

Alish, no space in our room for another bed. Also, I really don't like them in our room - I have them with me all day long and need a bit of space from them. I find having them in my room is like living at your workplace, I have co-slept with both kids when they were little but it isn't good for my head space.

Olive, I am off to google Dr Jay Gordan. Thanks.

can you try them in a bed together?